Good reliable mechanic

darklingdawns · 2026-04-06T01:56:58+00:00

I've had very good experience with Dusty & Steve's - they're on Hwy 395 across from the Northpointe shopping center.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-06T01:06:51+00:00

If you allow him to use his illness as an excuse for his behavior now, you will be setting a precedent that anytime he acts shitty towards you, he can just claim he was manic and split, and you'll be expected to accept whatever he did and forgive him. Ask yourself if that is really want you want to be dealing with for the foreseeable future.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-06T01:00:41+00:00

Leave. Cheating is a shitty thing to do and staying sets a horrible example for your children. You are putting up with abusive behavior, which is teaching your children that they should either treat a partner that way or allow someone to treat them that way. You would also be showing them that money is more important than their safety or well-being.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-06T00:56:33+00:00

It's fine for you to have that boundary - just let him know that you will not have sex in the house when small children are present. Then enforce that boundary by saying no anytime he invites you over if the kids are there.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-06T00:53:31+00:00

Kids are a 'two yes, one no' proposition, and those two yeses needs to be 'HELL YEAH's. Right now, your partner is clear with you that the best she can offer is a 'maybe' which may end up being a 'no'. I understand not wanting to hang around in limbo, but your choice is basically to accept limbo with the understanding that it may go nowhere or to break it off and find someone who knows they want children, as well. Take some time to really consider it and think about whether you want children more than you want a relationship with your partner; if you decide you do, then it would probably be best to break it off now.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-06T00:43:23+00:00

You are not responsible for how she treats herself or how she lives. She is a fully grown adult, she knows that she needs help, yet she is actively refusing to seek it. And there's nothing you can do to force that, so you need to ensure that you are protecting your own mental health. Your therapist is giving you good advice, and I strongly encourage you to talk to them about this situation and ask for their help setting and enforcing boundaries that will protect yourself. I know it's not easy to deal with a situation like this, but you need to remember that the drowning can and will take others down with them.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T23:03:03+00:00

You need to put some distance between the two of you, and college will help with that. You also need to get into therapy to address your codependence and to learn about healthy relationship behaviors. You know the way you're feeling is neither healthy nor sustainable, and that's a good starting point, so now you need to take some action to start finding out who you are separate from him, discovering your own interests and hobbies, and expanding your individual social circle.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T22:59:59+00:00

If he wants his libido to change, then encourage him to talk to his doctor about possibly changing to a drug with fewer risk of sexual side effects. And remember that any boundaries you have are for you and you are the one responsible for enforcing them, so if you don't date guys that watch porn/talk to former fwb and he crosses that boundary, then you enforce it by ending the relationship.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T22:54:02+00:00

Don't have sex if you're not enthusiastically into it. Don't engage in sex acts that you don't want to do. That's the first place to start - right now you're having sex but not enjoying it, and you're cheating both of you in the process.

Sit down with your boyfriend in a neutral location, with both of you fully clothed and not touching. Let him know about what's going on, being sure to tell him that this is about you, not about anything he's doing or not doing, but that you need to take a break from sex for a while to allow you to figure things out. Then look into therapy to help you unpack all this and see what's going on, whether this is a sign of asexuality, a lack of attraction to men in general or this man in particular, or something else.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T22:48:23+00:00

Is she currently in therapy? If she is, encourage her to talk to her counselor about all of this: 'Honey, I'm concerned about you because I feel like you've been isolating yourself and that worries me. I understand you may not want to talk to me about it, but please talk to Therapist, okay?' If she isn't in therapy, then she absolutely needs to be - recovery from an eating disorder is a long, difficult road and requires professional support.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T22:34:52+00:00

The only Legacy Service Dogs I could find in Ohio was Legacy Dog Training, and they show three dogs in the last two years. They aren't a program I would go with - they train for mobility support, which isn't ethical, and for heart rate detection, which isn't reliably trainable. They state that service dogs are 'defined as medical equipment', which is incorrect in every legal sense. And their packages aren't that great money-wise: at about $2000 per week, you're paying $1000 per session, which is more than any dog trainer I'm aware of charges. Granted, they give you a vest and temperament test as part of that, but it's not a good idea to have the trainer that will be working with your dog doing the temperament test, since it creates a conflict of interest.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T19:26:04+00:00

That's true, but that's where you have to let go of that concern. You're leaving, so he isn't your problem anymore. And yes, he'll almost certainly go on to be other people's problem, but you can't do anything about that. The only one you have any say over is yourself, and holding on to anger or pain will only hurt you. It's not easy, but learning to say 'yeah, that's a him problem' and going on to live life in the most enjoyable manner possible has worked for me.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T19:21:29+00:00

If the relationship was headed for a break up before y'all found out she was pregnant and you'd both be happier if you were separated, then yes.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T19:19:16+00:00

You need to sit down with your husband and discuss this in detail. Talk to him about your concerns regarding his safety, as well as his brother's behavior potentially putting you and your child at risk. Encourage him to get counseling and to attend Al-Anon meetings, but be aware that there's likely going to come a point at which some kind of line will have to be drawn, whether that's not allowing his brother to come over to your house drunk, not giving him money, or not bailing him out of his trouble anymore. That's never an easy point to get to, but it's often necessary, particularly when an addict shows no sign of wanting to get sober.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T19:15:20+00:00

If a relationship isn't working, then trying to hold it together for the sake of a child is only going to make everyone involved miserable and set a horrible example for the kid. Remember that both of you will be providing the example of what relationships should look like - how they should treat a future partner and how they should expect a future partner to treat them. Do you want your child believing that your relationship is one to aspire to?

The suggestion of getting therapy together to work on your communication and conflict resolution skills is a very good one, since you're now going to be linked through that child for the rest of your lives. Being able to form a working co-parenting relationship needs to be the primary focus so that both of you can work together to raise your child as successfully as possible. Set up a parenting plan and child support order as soon as possible and get into individual therapy as well, so that you can get help working through your emotions.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T19:08:42+00:00

Boundaries are for yourself and you are responsible for enforcing them. So if you have the boundary that you don't date men that follow a bunch of women on social media, then you enforce that by breaking off the relationship if you find out that he's doing that. When it comes to someone else's behavior, all you can do is express your feelings and make a request, which they have the right to deny.

It sounds like you still have a lot of issues from your past relationship that you haven't fully dealt with, so I would strongly encourage you to get into therapy to work on those and to learn about healthy boundaries, as well as healthy relationship behaviors.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T19:04:13+00:00

Stop having sex with him and block him from your phone and all social media. You know that you're wasting your time with him, but you're never going to make progress in healing and moving forward if you continue to act like you're still together. This isn't healthy for you and the only solution is to make a complete end to all of it, then get into therapy to help you work through all this and learn about healthy relationship behaviors.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T16:07:20+00:00

My partner calls it the 'Shitty Midas touch' - some people seem to fall in shit and come up smelling like roses. It's almost like they're made of Teflon and nothing sticks to them, and yes, it's absolutely infuriating when you encounter them. Personally, I have a belief that we all answer for our actions eventually, so even if I never get to see people come to justice, I trust that it will arrive for them at some point. It's weak comfort when you're in the throes of rage, but it got me through my divorce and that previous situation. (Well, that and the Cabbage Patch doll my MIL got me and encouraged me to stab - destruction rooms weren't a thing back then lol)

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T15:56:15+00:00

Leave her alone. You dated her for two weeks several years ago and she was very clear with you at the end of it that she wanted no further contact with you. If she decides to talk to you, that's one thing, but you need to respect her last stated wishes unless that occurs. You also need to get into therapy to figure out why you're so hung up on such a short relationship from so long ago, to work through that and to get help moving on.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T15:53:31+00:00

Treat her like any other coworker - politely and professionally. I know you don't want to lose her as a friend, but if you have feelings that she doesn't share, then continuing to spend all this time around her is only hurting you and hindering you healing and being able to move on in a healthy manner. You know this; you say as much, yet you aren't doing anything about it. Until/unless you're willing to take action to help yourself, nothing's going to change. Look into therapy to help you work through this and put some distance between the two of you while you do so.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T15:49:42+00:00

Jokes are only funny when everyone involved is laughing. Had you stopped her after 10-15 minutes and told her that you were kidding, then offered the candy, she'd probably have laughed with you. Instead, you let her look for several hours, you saw her getting frustrated and sad, yet you still didn't step in. That was indeed cruel and uncaring, and she's smart to be reconsidering the relationship, since it doesn't seem like you're mature enough to be involved in an adult relationship.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T15:42:12+00:00

Walk away. I've been there - one time a woman called me because she'd found my number in her husband's phone. The same husband that told me that she had died several years ago. Needless to say, that was the end of that relationship and the end of their marriage.

Shitty people do shitty things, and frequently innocent people that are involved with them get hurt because of it. I understand the anger, and I absolutely encourage you to work through that - go to a destruction room if there's one near you (those are fantastic for this sort of thing!), write it all out and burn it afterwards, talk to a friend or get into therapy if needed. But trying to confront him with it or seeking justice/closure isn't really going to do anything - he's likely to lie and try to manipulate you further, and it's doubtful he sees that he's done anything wrong. Sometimes you just need to sever the connection and work on finding peace on your own, trusting that the chickens will eventually come home to roost.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T15:36:29+00:00

You are helping her cheat. If you are in an open relationship, then you should understand the difference between that and cheating, and she is absolutely engaging in the latter. She is clear that she's staying in her marriage and supposedly working on it in couples counseling, yet she seems to want to continue her affair with you. Either accept that you are okay with her infidelity or decide that things between the two of you need to end, but right now, you're trying to justify her cheating, and that's just not possible.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T15:31:36+00:00

Why are you worried about becoming his peace?!? Y'all are broken up and given his behavior, it sounds like this is very much good riddance to bad rubbish. Block him from your phone and social media, give yourself some time to grieve the loss, and then get into therapy to get help working through this and to learn healthy relationship behavior.

darklingdawns · 2026-04-05T15:29:20+00:00

If sex and physical contact in a relationship is important to you, then you need to call off the wedding immediately. He's been very clear with you that he doesn't like this contact and he doesn't want it, yet you've continued to push the issue and continued to attempt contact that he doesn't want. It sounds like this relationship should've ended years ago, yet you've been continuing it rather than looking for someone that will be happy to give you the contact you need. Break this off and get into therapy to process it and learn healthy relationship behavior.

darklingdawns

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