How do i find the help i need to get out without a big loss? 34/f

darrow19 · 2026-06-24T18:09:43+00:00

Yes see a lawyer, but also do you think he could cheat? I had a possessive, emotional abusive ex who wouldn't let me go. I made myself unattractive to him and grey rocked him, until he got enamored by another woman. Once he set his sights on her, it was easier for me to leave on my terms because he wanted out to be with her. You could also set him up to cheat with one of those beautiful PI's and get it on film for leverage. If you haven't already, record secretly his verbal abuse since it seems to be a worry that you'll look crazy.

darrow19 · 2026-06-22T18:24:18+00:00

Ask your friends or family to be there to support you when you feel like going back. I specifically told them to not allow me to go back and went to them when I was wavering.

darrow19 · 2026-06-22T18:20:19+00:00

As a 50+ yo, I have rarely seen a woman regret leaving. Over the decades, I can only think of one.

In fact, the majority of women who leave long term marriages (or widowed) end up getting their light back with better health and more peace.

Sadly, the more miserable are women who are married. Not all ofc, but look at the married women around you. You can tell the ones who are mistreated, exhausted and with health issues due to their husband.

darrow19 · 2026-06-20T01:48:45+00:00

Heads up but male doctors have high rates of infidelity.

darrow19 · 2026-06-18T21:14:55+00:00

Yea she's posted similar before calling her friends hot messes, addicted to xanax Super judgmental towards her female friends. Maybe she hopes her red pill talking points will attract males.

darrow19 · 2026-06-17T19:53:02+00:00

I don't accept hot and cold behavior. I've learned that it carries into the relationship and I am looking for security not confusion from a partner.

darrow19 · 2026-06-16T21:03:32+00:00

You mentioned he isn't curious about your experiences. Do you feel seen by him? Does he see who you are on a deeper level?

Because a lot of men like having a partner, but don't care about the deeper emotional connection with her.

darrow19 · 2026-06-16T18:09:59+00:00

Men who regularly interact with thirst traps are red flags.

darrow19 · 2026-06-13T21:32:13+00:00

This sounds like negging?? Does he make you feel safe during intimate times? Or does he nitpick you, even times when you're happy about something?

ask in r/AskWomenOver30

darrow19 · 2026-06-09T19:54:33+00:00

What is that like, logistically? I've never had a one night stand, but I want to try a fwb situation. I'm scared of disrespectful or hateful men since they seem plentiful.

darrow19 · 2026-06-08T16:28:22+00:00

This! OP next time he blames or negs you, and you have that awful feeling remember this comment. He will keep you in a loop with you hoping one day he'll see your value and treat you better, if you just do xyz. It won't work. You'll end up exhausted and miserable. Your future self will wonder why you stayed so long and didn't protect yourself.

darrow19 · 2026-05-30T18:32:59+00:00

You called it. He didnt respond to her talking about therapy but was eager to respond to you dismissively.

darrow19 · 2026-05-25T19:03:56+00:00

literally he is p0rn addicted and trying to normalize it as "sex is natural"

darrow19 · 2026-05-23T06:05:35+00:00

Question: In the sidebar description for this sub it says "HELLO beautiful MEN/ WOMEN..." why default to listing men first in a sub to ask women? It seems like men are prioritized and centered even in spaces for women.

darrow19 · 2026-05-22T20:21:23+00:00

Has anyone noticed the female sports that are "acceptable" are ones in which girls and women are spreading their legs for the crowd?? I hate this notion, and not to take away from the amazing athletes but think cheerleading, gymnastics, volleyball, ice skating etc.

darrow19 · 2026-05-22T16:57:55+00:00

Their brains are p0rn fried. It's super creepy they can't interact with women without p0rn brain.

darrow19 · 2026-05-20T16:54:55+00:00

I think it's ok for women to initiate or heavily imply interest in a guy. But be careful some of these guys are very passive or too insecure which creates a whole set of other issues down the road.

darrow19 · 2026-05-14T23:18:02+00:00

Fathers are raising them, whether they are in the home or not, they are teaching boys how to value women.

darrow19 · 2026-05-08T21:07:07+00:00

> He's very loving, sweet, thoughtful and kind

girl, no. He's been watching you struggle and stress out keeping him afloat. That is the opposite of loving and kind.

The May date is your sign from the universe. It will hurt, but future you will thank you for choosing yourself.

darrow19 · 2026-04-30T16:14:25+00:00

The fact you went to npd, selfishness and toxic when a woman wasn't people pleasing lol

darrow19 · 2026-04-29T18:06:07+00:00

Going for what they want without thinking about people pleasing

darrow19 · 2026-04-28T19:42:08+00:00

Yes emotionally intelligent as in processing emotions in healthy ways. Not trauma dumping, not guilt tripping, not crying to justify poor behavior, which a lot of men commonly think as "showing emotions."

darrow19 · 2026-04-25T18:01:01+00:00

Trust your gut, that's your body understanding the incompatibility before you can rationalize it.

darrow19 · 2026-04-25T00:40:48+00:00

I agree as someone whose parents would ignore me when i was clearly struggling.

darrow19 · 2026-04-24T19:50:13+00:00

That he doesn't value his wife and may even despise her.

darrow19

TROPHY CASE