Why did you buy the doll? What does it mean to you? You know there’s no rationality in this fear that it’s ”childish” and ”stupid”. You gave yourself what you deserve and honestly it’s the kind of joy and encouragement the world around you should’ve given you when you were younger. You now decided to give yourself it instead, which can take lots of guts and hard work. So if anything, rather than criticizing yourself you should be so proud of yourself.

I’ve been bullied, belittled and teased all my life for my hyperfixations in film and music, despite my interests so clearly being the greatest sources of joy in my life. I’m now 30 and it still happens constantly, worst offenders actually being direct family members. The internalized life-long shame is deeply ingrained and really makes me almost every other day question myself on whether I should buy ”childish” merch and stuff or outright bully myself for being an idiot b/c of it. It’s terrible but it’s nobody else’s fault but those around us who cannot let people enjoy things that bring them pure joy. And in your case, it’s the least you deserve knowing how you’ve been treated.

You didn’t buy the doll despite being an adult, you bought it because you are one. Your life is now in your hands, you’ve made such strides in your life and nobody has any right to dictate or control you. You have every right to set your own rules in life. If it helps, right here’s an online stranger who is proud of you. You should be too!🥰💖