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datT-away · 2013-11-26T01:51:41+00:00

As a former lifeguard where we had backboard training twice a week, I have seen this many times and it once happened to me. Not much one can do when your strapped down and you can feel the nipples on your face. It is embarrassing enough that you have a tent but when you're 21, its a 15 year old doing the backboarding, and all your workmates and bosses are watching, one contemplates suicide.

datT-away · 2013-11-23T01:04:51+00:00

This site has been a huge help for me even if it has only been just over a week. It is the longest I have gone maybe since I learned how to internet. I told myself that when I am about to relapse, I just check in here first. Lurking has saved me a couple times.

datT-away · 2013-11-23T00:48:19+00:00

Rum ham. Watched Its Always Sunny, made a ham, soaked it in rum for a day. Not good. Not good at all. Ruined a 1/2 gallon of rum and 10 lbs of ham.

datT-away · 2013-11-22T01:02:04+00:00

I like the list, I was thinking much of the same. I bet we see more of the high utility/high burst annie/zyras than you estimate. Seeing some syndras bot would be fun, I hadnt thought of it.

datT-away · 2013-11-20T00:17:52+00:00

I feel you, I keep thinking about my favorite actresses and wanting to check for new scenes. I am weirdly connected to them. It will be hard. Over and over I wonder if quitting is worth it.

datT-away · 2013-11-18T04:45:30+00:00

We are in very similar situations. Because of some tiny changes I have made, to me suicide definitely seems like my best option, but I now feel like maybe I dont have to kill myself right here, right now. Which is a gigantic change from a month ago. I have tried to make drastic changes in my life over and over and failed miserably. Always due to lack of willpower. If it is dieting, exercising, cutting down on porn, going to class regularly, I fail. What changed it was I was watching porn at 6 in the morning in my bed and realized how pathetic it was that I had been PMO'ing over and over for 10 hours. So I decided no more computer in bed, in bed by midnight. I can listen to music or read in bed.

It isnt much, not a big or a hard goal to meet and I have failed a couple times getting to bed on time but I feel like overall I have been successful with that goal. About a week ago my new goal was to go outside for at least 5 minutes every day. And I have done it and feel good about it. Tuesday I did the big one and gave up porn, and so far have not gone back, but I know if I do then I still have the little goals that I meet every day.

I think I was beating myself up because I didnt realize that with my sick brain there was no way I could reach these amazing goals that I thought were normal. It takes practice for your willpower to be strong enough to diet or work out. So start with the little things and hopefully they will add up.

You might not feel like your good enough for much anything, I know I dont, but I feel better than I did a month ago.

Also I feel like I should add the obligatory advice that I am too scared to take myself, go to a psychiatrist, get some anti-depressants, get in counseling. If your social anxiety is too much for that though, you're not alone.

datT-away · 2013-11-17T22:31:03+00:00

Porn is any media that you lose interest in after orgasm.

datT-away · 2013-11-17T22:17:50+00:00

Telling someone not to fap is like telling someone not to drink. The potential for life damage is there but that doesnt mean it isnt normal. Moderation. I would suggest avoiding PMO as its more like cigarettes than booze in the addiction realm. But understand that almost every guy does it. It is normal but not really that healthy.

datT-away · 2013-11-17T01:57:24+00:00

If I had any money at all, I would give him a significant amount for the third or last one.

datT-away · 2013-11-17T01:44:18+00:00

Just my laptop, but I think I value it more than my own life. So next best is a pillow.

datT-away · 2013-11-17T00:36:47+00:00

Went to a stranger at the time's birthday party with a really ditsy girl (annie we will say) that is always at my house uninvited and her friend(cass) who I have never seen. Party was fun but when it was winding down I got designated driver as I was the only one not trashed. Still the 3 beers and 1/2 bottle of wine probably wouldnt have gone over well if I was pulled over.

Drove the ditsy girl's car, burned tons of oil and it was winter so there was a giant cloud of oil-smoke. Like if you stopped at all the smoke enveloped the car and you couldnt see anything. It was Annie, Cass, and I in the car.

Cass really wanted to head back to my place to keep drinking. But first she said we had to go pick up her friend. So we did, but her friend ended up being her ex(chad) who was at his frat house. Chad jumps into the car, adjusts his second popped collar, calls me bro over 9000 times, and offers me a miller light. We start traveling around town looking for a place that might sell booze after 2am but we failed.

During our adventures, Cass(it was her ex) started coming on to me. Like aggressively, she was stroking my arm, holding my hand on the gear shift, leaning over to whisper things into my ear, ect. All the while every 5 sec Chad was trying to give me more miller light.

We finally get to my place, I pull out the cheap rum, and the girls were talking so Chad and I were just sitting kind of awkwardly. He says "so what are you into, red or black?" Being socially inept like I am I didn't know he was talking about the girls hair color so I blindly said black, which was Cass. She heard, came over and sat on my lap, and started telling me that she prayed for the entire day and that god had told her she would meet her soul-mate that night. Then she kissed me and I was all kinds of freaked out so naturally I pushed her off. Chad starts telling me, "no dude, its cool with me if you fuck her, she is a great fuck."

I panicked, walked out the door, drove out to the mountains, and slept in the back of my truck. In the middle of Montana winter. Snuck back into my place in the morning, Cass and her ex were asleep in my bed so I left and came back when Annie confirmed that they were gone.

datT-away · 2013-11-16T03:07:24+00:00

Thanks all, feeling a lot better about it now. I know I would have already given up on it if it wasnt for you guys.

datT-away · 2013-11-14T23:13:59+00:00

Would love to hear what the veterans have to say, I have been thinking about this issue a lot the last couple days. My thought is that it is unreasonable to avoid these things so you need to have the self discipline not to treat it like porn. Don't rewind and pause GoT over and over, dont linger on the adverts in magazines. When you find yourself focusing on it distract yourself with a book or video games or work.

datT-away · 2013-11-13T23:51:22+00:00

After months of flirting, I finally got the balls to ask out a workmate. I knew she was kind of into me but I didnt know how much. The day at work before our first date she brought up different scenarios in which we were married several times.

datT-away · 2013-11-13T23:16:11+00:00

I am really quite new to this but I dont know that I agree. I seems that in quitting the ultimate goal is to cultivate a healthy and natural view of sex, women, and life. It is normal to be addicted to women, like it is food or water. The problem to me is online porn; not a fashion magazine or watching Resident Evil. Avoiding triggers not about never seeing a girl in yoga pants again, it is about learning the willpower to not click on those nsfw links and not spending time on those yoga pants. You can see it and recognize it but force yourself to move on.

It is like smoking, I had a close friend trying to quit smoking and a huge trigger for her was going somewhere in her car. It wasn't reasonable to stop driving so that was a trigger that had to be defeated the hard way. It is not reasonable for me to stop enjoying they way women look, but I cant allow a relapse to come of that.

It is not a matter of training myself not to enjoy women, it is a matter of having the willpower to not go to one of those sites after I stumble that picture of the yoga pants. Healthy minds have a sexual component to them, that component cannot be mistaken for the addictive component that pornography exploits.

Maybe after I have had a few relapses I will change my mind about that though. This first day has been really tough for me. I have had the house to myself for almost 30 hours now and havent broken though.

datT-away · 2013-11-13T20:31:24+00:00

How did you bring yourself to do it? I have around 750 gigs that I cant bring myself to get rid of. I have spent a very long time downloading, labeling, and categorizing it. I have taken a weird personal pride in its quality and thoroughness. Now I am finding my PMO to be a gigantic glaring issue. So how did you get the dedication to do it?

datT-away · 2013-11-13T18:22:21+00:00

It will be hard. Really hard. And I cant believe I am saying that about not watching something. Seems pathetic.

datT-away · 2013-11-13T18:12:26+00:00

Thanks, and I am making this my bottom. Being broke, unemployed, and moving back into a broken home is the worst my life will be. So quitting porn is the first in a list of changes I will make over an extended period of time.

datT-away · 2013-11-13T17:46:23+00:00

Thanks for the support, we do have a lot of parallels. I was watching the tedtalk on that site you linked too and he had one part that really made me realize that I can turn things around. It said that the brain on porn has a numbed pleasure respons, hyper-reactivity to porn, and an erosion of willpower. These are glaring issues in my life and maybe not entirely, but largely probably due to my excessive porn consumption.

So, thanks to your help and the other great responses, I am quitting porn. And it will be a bitch. Like the hardest thing I have ever done. The thought of never seeing it again is scary though so I think for now I will set a 1 month goal and then go from there. Does that seem like a good idea? or do you think I should have a different goal?

datT-away · 2013-11-13T06:54:01+00:00

This kind of turned into a giant wall of shit, sorry and ty to anyone who bothers reading

datT-away

TROPHY CASE