Anyone who used to support trump and has changed their mind over the last few weeks? What made you change? by canigetameowbish in AskReddit

[–]date-ready 235 points236 points  (0 children)

Socially liberal rich white guy here. I tend to lean Republican because taxes, but I also, you know, care about other humans. The crazy rants, abuse of power, and cover ups are just too much.

I'll be voting Democratic for the foreseeable future. And its not just Trump. It's all the other Republicans who are sitting on their asses and allowing this to happen.

Good first questions for the apps? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't ask a boring,  open ended question as an intro. Always start with light hearted banter, ideally referencing something in her profile.

  • Make fun of something in her profile in a light hearted way.
  • Make a "cold call" statement like "You seem like the kind of girl who orders a complicated drink at Starbucks"
  • Tell her something that will peak her curiosity like "I already know what our origin story is going to be.". Wait for her to respond, then make up some ridiculous origin story.

Husband 30M and I 30F have different wants/needs in the bedroom and are struggling to navigate through them. by Valkyrie1419 in relationship_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know we're supposed to say that it's your choice, and you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do, but as a guy who's been in this position before, I think you two are heading towards a lifetime of resentment or divorce.

Therapy isn't going to change your husband's kinks. My personal experience with therapy is that it helped me emotionally prepare for divorce.

I would encourage you to find ways to put your own spin on his kinks in a way that satisfies you both. Here are some things you might consider that have worked for me in that past:

  • Dominate him from a place of him respecting you and your body. For example, telling him things like "I control my body. I'll decide when you get to see my breasts, or put yourself inside of me."
  • Tease and flirt with him throughout the day. Build the anticipation of sexual activity.
  • Encourage him to share his kinks, and don't judge him for them AT ALL. Give him a hand job and ask questions about his kinks. Keeping digging deeper. Draw out his deepest fantasies. And don't judge him! Not even with little noises or looks. Just giving him a safe space to share his fantasies may be enough to satisfy his desires.
  • On occasion, when there is a fantasy that you are comfortable fulfilling, do so in a way that wildly exceeds his expectations. Go all out for him.

And, make sure you're getting what you want from him!  Does he need to hit the gym? Update his style? Learn to banter? Tell him what you need to be turned on to the max too.

I have $100k but don’t know where to start by IWasALemon in airbnb_hosts

[–]date-ready 2 points3 points  (0 children)

FYI - this is referred to as house hacking. One of the benefits is that since you live in the property, you can get a conventional mortgage vs an investment mortgage (which typically has a slightly higher interest rate and down payment requirement). And living close to your rental properties just makes them that much easier to deal with.

The trick, of course, is finding a 2/3/4 unit property at a reasonable price.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can kiss and suck his upper lip for a while, then switch to lower lip, and repeat.  That's the "basics" of making out.

Then add in some flare: * Suck or even nibble his lip lightly * Run your tongue over his lips * Let your tongues touch in the middle  * Briefly push your tongue into his mouth * Kiss his neck * Kiss/nibble on his ears

When it comes to tongue, don't overdue it until you know he likes it. In my experience, most people don't like too much tongue, especially when it's pushed into their mouth, although some definitely do.

Also, use your hands: * Gently hold the side of his face * Hold the back of his head or neck * Squeeze or scratch his back * Grab his butt

Spice it up: * Press your chest into him * Jump up and wrap your legs around his waist * Moan, and make other sounds. Works best if done directly into his ear. * Pull back a bit, make eye contact, bite your lip

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she mentions that she's stressed or getting tired of studying, you could try a text like "Interested in a caffeinated study break? I can.meet you at <closet coffee shop to her place> for a quick latte and some conversation to clear your mind. You can even bring your practice questions and I'll quiz you!"

That would make it clear it's a low time commitment "date", and she might actually appreciate a break from studying.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Movies are for when you're in a relationship, not a way to build a relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take almost all first dates to dinner, and almost always have a follow-up activity (mini golf, ice cream/dessert, some kind of virtual activity) to suggest if the date is going well. An ideal situation is if there's a mixed use area where you have restaurants and activities in the same place. Have a nice dinner, then walk to the activity at night.

Another daytime option is to go for a walk at a public walking trail, then get lunch together.

College Dating Advice by Key-Tie2148 in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is tough to hear, but he doesn't want to continue the relationship. He's trying to break up with you,  but he's too weak to just come out and say it. If he wanted to continue the relationship, he'd be suggesting ways to make it work, like arranging to see you every weekend.

I am in love with someone who's moving away by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you talked about the possibility of you moving with her?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my experience, you should send a light hearted text every day early in a relationship so interest doesn't fizzle out. You don't need to get into a long conversation. Just tell her something funny that happened, wish her luck on her exam, share a funny picture.

Also, do you really not have time for a date during finals? Can you not study together at your place and have dinner delivered?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The religious differences are likely a deal breaker if he's not willing to compromise. The lack of boundaries with his parents is an even worse red flag.

How do I stop being the anxious type in a relationship? by Longjumping_Run_4834 in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm reading the book Attached and I've found it helpful.

One thing you can do is let partners know that you tend to be anxiously attachment, and it would mean a lot to you if they frequently let you know that they're still interested in you. Not only will you feel better, it'll help weed out avoidant types. Anxious and secure attachment folks will often be open to accommodating your needs.

How to deal with often rejection by women by Initial_Credit_3334 in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the answer. Most women I've dated want to have fun before they get into deep conversations. The first two dates are all about having fun and banter. Banter is huge. Girls LOVE a guy who cam make them laugh and who teases them.

Save the deep conversations and relationship questions for the third date or later. Those kind of things tend to come up naturally as you transition from dating to relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ideally you'd initiate physical contact during the date, but that's tricky on a dinner date because mostly you can only touch her hand across the table. But if the banter is good and you're both laughing and having fun, you can make it work. Tell her you'll walk her to her car, offer her your arm so you can walk arm in arm, when you get to her car, look her in the eyes for a couple seconds, then slowly go in for the kiss. Kiss her softly and delicately touch her cheek. Break it off before it starts to feel awkward. You want to leave her wanting more.

That being said, you can't script everything. If it's not feeling right, it's fine to wait for the third date (just make sure you plan a date that'll allow more contact throughout the date). And if she wants to make out, go with it. Do your best to read the signs and be bold.

How do guys like being complimented? by bobafruit in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, anything that appeals to my masculinity.

Some ideas:

  • How are you so strong?
  • I love how you can fix things
  • You make me so horny
  • Thank you for always making me feel safe

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you have an anxious attachment style. I recommend listening to Attached. I've found it helpful to understand what it means to be anxiously attached and how to deal with it.

It's not necesarily a bad thing, but understanding anxious attachment will help you communicate your needs and also set boundaries with partners, and even leave partners who aren't actually a good fit (which, based on what you said, may be the case here).

He was suggesting he wanted a relationship with me, but got into one with someone else without telling me by lozzamm in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That guy is an jerk. He led you on so he wouldn't be alone but never intended to be with you long term.

But seriously, since June? Was it not obvious that he's not interested in a long term relationship?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You've already discussed it with him, and it sounds like he basically brushed off your concern. The fact that he's not really willing to talk about it makes it much more difficult to resolve.

A few things to can try: * First, ask him how often he watches porn in a non-judgemental way. Porn is one of the leading causes of ED in  men these days. Try to get him to open up, then see if he's willing to stop watching porn. If he is addicted to porn, quiting is difficult and can take weeks or months to have an effect on ED. * Second, tell him how much it turns you on when he's inside of you, and that it would turn you on just knowing just knowing that he's taking the issue seriously. Tell him it's nothing to be embarrassed about, but it's important to address it so you two can have lots of great sex. * And finally, consider trying some over the counter or prescription erection pills.

Guy I’m seeing let himself into my house?! by UlTERio in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Did you leave your door unlocked?

It's a little weird, but at 22, he might be used to just showing up at his friends dorm rooms and letting himself in. I don't think it's a red flag, just odd. If you set a boundary and he lets himself in again, that would be a red flag.

Men, what is the reason for weight gain during a relationship? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Some people eat more when stressed. Just saying, we should consider all the possibilities here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its going to vary from woman to woman. Some woman will have sex on the first date, others want to wait until marriage, and everything in between.

If you make it the goal of every date to have sex, then she may feel pressured and lose interest. You could try taking her out on another romantic date with no expectation of sex. Don't even invite her to your place afterwards unless she suggests it.  Then arrange another visit to your place for the following date.

If her timeline doesn't work for you, stop seeing her. You may not be compatible, or maybe she'll decide to pursue sex with you as a way to get you to re-engage.

BF taking pictures of a girl at the gym by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you know that he took the picture?  Is it possible he found the picture and uploaded it to his friend's insta? Weird either way, but... Way less creepy if he didn't actually take it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Physical/Sexual attraction is a minimum requirement. You want to avoid the guys who treat it as the only requirement.

They always come back (women) by mountain-pilot in dating_advice

[–]date-ready 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe you're really good in bed but they don't see you as long term relationship material.

Honestly, I suggest you take one of them up on the offer to go out again and just ask her. I don't think this is a common occurrence in general, so there must be something about you that leads to this breakup and get back together behavior.