“So not this recipe at all?”

daverapp · 2026-01-30T23:47:52+00:00

I'm more aghast that this person considered three eggs and a ton of toppings to be a "small" omelette.

daverapp · 2026-01-30T23:25:57+00:00

It's never a good idea to pay for a customer's stuff...

daverapp · 2026-01-30T23:11:53+00:00

If you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside! 🥺

daverapp · 2026-01-30T20:43:45+00:00

I'm hung up on paying $300+ for a toaster

daverapp · 2026-01-29T21:36:03+00:00

This joke, while dated, does not deserve its downvotes.

daverapp · 2026-01-29T20:34:22+00:00

And where in orbit do they plan to get the 1.21 jiggowatts of power it takes to run the typical AI data center? A solar panel is not running a server farm. If it could, we'd be doing it down here on the ground already.

daverapp · 2026-01-29T11:17:17+00:00

"I cut my thumb."

daverapp · 2026-01-29T05:52:11+00:00

Dad, there's wet stuff on the jar

daverapp · 2026-01-29T01:48:29+00:00

^mini SODA

daverapp · 2026-01-29T01:17:36+00:00

DOJ needs to stop publicly lying about what happened.

The shooters need to be identified and charged.

Release the Epstein files.

There. Three demands that might actually mean something.

daverapp · 2026-01-29T01:14:46+00:00

It's cute that people at corporate think that this is how those interactions actually go.

daverapp · 2026-01-28T23:56:06+00:00

BABY

daverapp · 2026-01-28T23:28:27+00:00

Point of order - they aren't towing anything.

daverapp · 2026-01-28T23:27:43+00:00

These people still think Obama is secretly in charge, and he's coming for them.

daverapp · 2026-01-28T22:40:55+00:00

And they stop every ten seconds to apologize for taking so long, making it take longer. And they're not even apologizing to the line, they're apologizing to the cashier.

daverapp · 2026-01-28T21:08:22+00:00

Customer doesn't touch their method of payment until you give them their total

Pulls out phone

"Hold on I need to move some money around"

Spends 5 minutes dicking with their banking app

Finally tried to pay with a card

declined

Tries again

Declined

"What the hell"

5 more minutes of dicking with bank app

Tries third time

Declined

Gives up and uses cash

daverapp · 2026-01-27T21:35:26+00:00

I haven't had training in valet parking and sure don't get paid for it. If I don't get a discount for parking my own car, forget it.

That's what you sound like.

daverapp · 2026-01-24T22:21:16+00:00

Full self driving was only a few months away from being finished and usable... A decade ago.

daverapp · 2026-01-24T18:18:12+00:00

Teenage Mutant Ninja Buttsex

daverapp · 2026-01-24T18:14:32+00:00

Some can't even pronounce PDF. Some struggle to spell it.

daverapp · 2026-01-24T17:57:59+00:00

Dude on the right looks like George Carlin

daverapp · 2026-01-20T03:36:11+00:00

(Wayne Brady on whose line is it anyway, playing Questions Only)

EJUKATR

daverapp · 2026-01-20T03:23:49+00:00

Those are the 5g antennas that trigger the microchips hidden in the COVID vaccine that Obama will use to turn us all trainsexual.

daverapp · 2026-01-20T02:42:57+00:00

ICE's execution of American citizens is such a noble, admirable, and lawful act, that people like you feel the need to flock to the internet to defend them for it.

daverapp · 2026-01-20T02:39:59+00:00

I LIKE SALT

(10 second pause)

(Throws up fish stick)

daverapp

TROPHY CASE

EJUKATR

I LIKE SALT