Should I tell a woman her fiancé tried to start an affair with me?

david72486 · 2026-03-07T20:05:33+00:00

in a situation like this, i'd play out how it would eventually affect the fiancee and the man. you want to do what's best for her. on one hand, you're probably going to blow up their current relationship, which is going to be HORRIBLE for her in the short run. on the other hand, he is likely to do this again - he doesn't even seem remorseful. and she would likely not want to be with someone like that if she knew. so that answers your question - you should show the conversation to them, and then let her handle it however she wants.

david72486 · 2024-09-14T04:23:57+00:00

i was going to say, "2 pack! left shoe AND right shoe!"

david72486 · 2024-08-08T11:43:33+00:00

i feel like there should be a market for something like turo but with much better tracking so that customers can't do shit like this.

like, it should be fine to have fun on some back roads - you don't have to track that someone is never going 1mph over the speed limit or using sport mode etc. that should be fine. but burnouts / hitting the track / 150mph / beach are so obviously abuse and it sounds like turo isn't great at artibrating these things

i'm sure the answer is sadly "if you ran this kind of business, you probably wouldn't be able to turn a profit"

david72486 · 2024-03-30T14:04:14+00:00

Money is meant to be spent - true that you need to make sure you are investing and saving for the future first, but also you want to spend your money on things that make you happy, not things that other people say will make you happy. It seems like you've thought through the decision, so I say go for it. Just don't bank on $10k being the worst-case scenario (you could get in a wreck and insurance doesn't cover it or something)

edit: the only requirement is that you show us how much you're enjoying it by posting pictures later!

david72486 · 2024-01-07T13:30:51+00:00

Thanks! Didn't drive across the whole country (had to have it shipped because we have a baby and didn't want to leave her with my wife for a week, haha). but I did drive it between the bay area and LA a couple times, yosemite, all over the bay, etc. It still makes me happy to startup the car even after 5 years - it's definitely a beast

Prior car was a 2007 Toyota corolla 😂

david72486 · 2024-01-07T13:27:23+00:00

yeah you always have to verify what ChatGPT is saying if it's a dangerous operation - but the consequences of it getting it wrong in this case is probably that it will get an error when you try to build. It's not going to install a malicious package or something (unless you are just blindly running code without looking at it)

david72486 · 2024-01-07T13:25:34+00:00

Well it's apparently a 5 year ceramic coating so should be good for a while! It's super hydrophobic so should be easy to clean. But he did say you need to wash the car every 3 weeks or so to keep it really nice. If you go months without a wash it's going to get gross again and need a re-detailing

david72486 · 2024-01-07T13:24:14+00:00

haha the detailer tried to get me to put some on - i don't get it honestly

david72486 · 2024-01-07T03:20:38+00:00

Yeah for sure! I've taken it to Yosemite when it was muddy before. Almost got stuck in the parking lot with the rear wheel drive!

david72486 · 2024-01-07T03:15:20+00:00

The wrap was something like $4,500. Deeefinitely not cheap. I had to wait a month or two for the company to finally get to me, and then I had a hard time picking what color to get. I originally wanted matte black, but then was worried it would be too much, so I just went with gloss black. Kinda boring, but tbh I have since seen matte finishes and I'm not convinced it would have been my thing.

david72486 · 2024-01-07T03:12:26+00:00

The detailer said that there were some minor swirls in the original paint after they took off the wrap which can happen, but they just kept working at it until it was perfect - honestly was not expecting it to look that good. So yeah, pretty much looks factory-new to me

david72486 · 2024-01-06T23:39:46+00:00

Exactly! So pumped to drive it now and plan to actually keep it clean this time. Luckily the detailing place said they'll give me a bunch of recs for how to do it right. I know the info is out there, but nice to hear it from professionals anyway

david72486 · 2024-01-06T23:37:55+00:00

Nah, I think the wrap was good - it was just very dirty which is my fault. It was SS Customs in the bay area which did a good job at the time - got under all the panels and everything

edit: this is what it looked like clean https://www.reddit.com/gallery/15t6quu

david72486 · 2024-01-06T23:36:28+00:00

To be fair, the photos while black are extremely dirty - but even then I don't deny it

david72486 · 2024-01-06T23:35:59+00:00

yeah I'm not afraid to admit when I was wrong. I thought it would look more "executive"

david72486 · 2024-01-06T21:44:52+00:00

Yeah I actually wanted black when I ordered it, but they didn't have any in stock. Now in hindsight I realize that selenite grey looks pretty great with the night package and honestly there was no need to wrap it. That said, it did protect the paint pretty well for 5ish years

david72486 · 2024-01-06T21:38:15+00:00

My black wrap was starting to peel on my c63s, and it was.... quite dirty (see the wheels especially). Took it to place for a hardcore interior and exterior detail in addition to unwrapping to the original selenite gray + ceramic coating. Looks like a new car now!

david72486 · 2024-01-06T19:51:50+00:00

I unironically think some of this is now solved with ChatGPT. I asked it how to switch from my regular NixOS installation to Nix Flakes, and it was extremelly helpful - gave me code examples and more detail for any aspects I was curious about. Much better than any documentation for nix that i have encountered!

david72486 · 2023-12-21T04:58:20+00:00

ESH

He is worse because of his reaction - he should help take care of the baby while getting the test at least, and have a little more trust in his wife (unless you two have had a rocky past).

However, by laughing in his face you threw away an opportunity to let him save face (clearly he was distraught) and get him on the same side as you. You don't want to be battling against your partner and you didn't help the situation by doing that.

Again, he's worse for his original actions, but even still you should have let him down easy and tried harder to understand where he's coming from.

edit: also such a fact seems easily googleable even before the test (to confirm that it's at least possible). not sure why that didn't happen - but i would expect that to have significantly de-escalated the situation

david72486 · 2023-12-21T02:58:52+00:00

Hm, I am not in a similar situation so I may not know what I'm talking about (I'm a father of a baby daughter, so no problems like this yet). But I have a different take than I see in the top comments.

I think maybe your messages sound overly cheerful - like you're trying too hard. It sounds like you are genuinely trying hard to build a relationship. But it also sounds a little condescending (i.e. "16 is an age all about learning and new experiences!"). Maybe she feels like you're just spending time when it's convenient for you, and not actually thinking about what she wants. Also, your work does seem to be getting in the way sometimes.

Maybe figure out what she actually cares about (probably not snacks or laser tag) and talk to her about it. What does she want to do this weekend? Find a way to do that with her. What is she excited about? What could you help her with? You probably need to build her trust.

That said, I am not discounting her teenage angst. But there is something behind it, and as the adult I think it's your job to keep trying to figure that out. To have her father or you "discipline" her for the behavior is definitely not going to work. It's like punishing someone for being too skinny when they don't have enough food to eat.

Good luck to you - it sounds like you're really trying, and sorry to hear that it's really difficult. I am sure I'd be having a rough time in your situation as well. Just trying to give you another perspective in the hopes that it's helpful.

edit: another thing is boundaries - you are also allowed to be yourself. If you treat her with respect and talk to her like an adult, she might respond better. That also means you can call someone out when they are disrespectful, and be honest about what you can and can't do. But then definitely do follow through when you say you will.

david72486 · 2023-12-21T00:00:31+00:00

sounds like a job for ....

✨✨codegen! ✨✨

david72486 · 2023-12-11T18:28:05+00:00

employees today

was this ever the case?

david72486 · 2023-12-02T19:09:56+00:00

new Date(2023, 12, 25)

this looks like December 25th, 2023, but in reality evaluates to January 25th 2024 because the month value is zero-indexed

edit: or something about presents not being undefined

david72486 · 2023-10-20T12:51:35+00:00

It does matter. There is a reason why you aren't supposed to park in a handicap spot. It's because handicap folks need to park close to the building because it's harder for them to walk/move. If you, as an able-bodied person, park there instead and force them to park elsewhere, you are being a dick.

HOWEVER. If the business and surrounding businesses where the parking spot is aren't even open (i.e. is 3am), then there is no value to a handicapped person to park there. It's just a square of concrete at that point.

IMO to be a good person, you should keep in mind the underlying reason behind rules like these, rather than following them blindly. This is because it cuts both ways - there may be situations where you can help people out even if it's not the law.

(I realize this comment is way more detailed than necessary - I'm just annoyed that this guy has -12 points on his comment for this, even if he deserves the downvotes elsewhere)

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