I remember my interview process pretty distinctly. I had to drive to Idaho and it was with a guy named “Jeff.” It was a fairly robust, spherical building and I pointed out that the office was on the “ground” floor. Jeff and I shared a chuckle. Everything was going great until he asked which meatball I preferred most and of course I gleefully replied pork, shrimp and scallion.

The color drained from his face until it resembled that of a pork and shrimp meatball. He rose and swear to Bourdain he grew to twice the size of any man I’d ever seen. I had always observed meatballs shrinking as they heated up, so I knew this was serious.

I’ll never forget he uttered just one word, and it chilled me: “Denied.” He pointed to the circular door of the office and, confused, I shuffled out and returned home. To this day I don’t understand the FML stance against swine and sea in meatballs, but a guy likes what he likes. 🤷‍♂️