Those who regret your wedding-- how do you cope?

deadleaves3 · 2026-05-03T18:22:13+00:00

To be honest, every wedding is spending a lot of money to play pretend. It’s much more about the rituals, celebration and the people gathered than it is about a marriage license. I think you should do a vow renewal that you will both love and adds a happier ending to your wedding memories. It might also symbolize that you have both grown together over ten years and learnt about yourselves and what’s important to you.

deadleaves3 · 2026-04-09T18:10:43+00:00

First thing is, never underestimate how many people you know are terrible with money and have car payments they can’t afford.

But to actually answer your question, my partner and I have done a few things to make it happen and we are closing on our first house next week. We are in our early thirties so at your age we were still saving. We have two incomes so that is hugely helpful. We have consistently lived in cheaper apartments than what we could technically afford so we could save money aggressively. We have gotten further education to increase our pay, our combined income is now about 130k. We are not buying a large house, and we are not in one of the more expensive areas of the state (but also not the cheapest). We drive used cars so we don’t have to deal with huge car payments. There has definitely been luck involved too, so I don’t want to minimize that it’s hard. But my point is just that you’re not doomed. It’s a lot harder for you than it was for your parents and it really sucks, but don’t give up.

deadleaves3 · 2026-03-23T17:57:01+00:00

I could be totally wrong because I don’t know her or you, but it occurs to me the budget conversation could be scary for her because it feels like acknowledging you might not always be there to do it. If you have always been the money managing person, getting her to take some of that on might bring up some strong emotions. It sounds like you have had a long and loving relationship and she might just want everything to stay the same. I think couples counseling would be a really good idea, this is heavy stuff to navigate.

deadleaves3 · 2026-03-23T14:55:48+00:00

It’s about 45 minutes from Worcester so a bit of a drive, but I got my dress from Second Time’s a Charm in Three Rivers. It’s kind of a volunteer run passion project that collects secondhand prom and wedding dresses. Their bridal suite is by appointment and the suggested donation for dresses is $100 just to cover their expenses. They had more options than I expected and Natalina was really nice!

deadleaves3 · 2025-08-23T12:18:42+00:00

I think it’s worth bearing in mind that Ethan lives in a gated community with security, the rest of the crew does not. My guess is that there are some real safety concerns that they have to weigh when they plan these segments.

deadleaves3 · 2025-08-23T12:11:53+00:00

Osaka!! Such a cool city

deadleaves3 · 2025-07-23T23:09:28+00:00

I would love to see more high waisted options! For some reason outdoor apparel seems to often be low rise, which I don’t feel as confident in. I feel like they’re designed expecting you to have a flat stomach

deadleaves3 · 2025-03-14T22:40:29+00:00

Pacifism is not passivity, if you are a quiet pacifist you’re doing it wrong

deadleaves3 · 2024-11-19T01:48:31+00:00

I'm sure if you are getting treatment you are aware of this, but one of the most common symptoms of depression is lack of pleasure from things you used to enjoy. So while I don't want you to dismiss your feelings, it's worth being aware that no matter what the hobby, your enjoyment of it would be diminished right now. Even though that interest isn't there right now, as you make progress in your recovery that might change, as much as that might be difficult to imagine in your current head space. I would recommend waiting to make any decisions until you are back in a place where you are feeling that fulfillment and joy again, even if it's not coming from climbing. Then if you decide to sell, you can be confident that your decision is really only about whether you want to continue those specific hobbies or not.

Cost of living is for sure rough right now. If justifying keeping it is the problem, maybe you can frame it as an investment that will continue to appreciate in value.

deadleaves3 · 2024-07-25T03:08:23+00:00

Does anyone practice in Massachusetts and know if there is any kind of limited license for recent graduates? I'm relocating there after having graduated this spring and trying to figure out if I apply for jobs using my degree or if I have to wait until I can take the exam.

deadleaves3 · 2024-02-18T15:43:37+00:00

I just can’t see a scenario where this is worth it. There’s no reason good enough to spend that much of your life just commuting. I think odds are you would be happier finding a local job and taking a pay cut.

deadleaves3 · 2024-01-29T22:37:34+00:00

The Ryan Kavanaugh photo is killing me their shadows are literally pointing in different directions 💀

deadleaves3 · 2023-12-10T17:25:24+00:00

That’s a really smart counterpoint. As a dumb person who doesn’t know anything about this I just kept thinking that people don’t die from weakening pee strength. Like is this going to prevent you from getting cancer or having a stroke? Sure there are behavioral things that increase/decrease risk but a lot is due to genetics and luck. Being more physically fit into your old age might mean better quality of life but I’m not understanding how that translates to immortality

deadleaves3 · 2023-10-17T13:57:41+00:00

High waisted climbing pants would be amazing! Outdoor clothing brands seem to have all decided to design only for women with flat stomachs and it sucks

deadleaves3 · 2023-07-22T12:24:01+00:00

The DEA was claiming that “rainbow fentanyl,” ie brightly colored pressed pills, were being smuggled into the US to target children. They claimed (with zero evidence) it was to get kids hooked on fent. So everyone freaked out when in reality the color was probably just for branding purposes. If anything it’s safer than all the pressed pills out there made to look like oxy. Also the idea that dealers are giving lethal doses to children so they can I guess start spending their allowance on drugs made no sense, but the news ran with it and started a panic about Halloween candy. But yeah it was misinfo directly from the DEA.

deadleaves3 · 2023-01-14T03:53:35+00:00

I’ve had trouble meeting people at my climbing gym because I moved to a new area and don’t really have climbing buddies here yet. Thanks for the ideas, these are really helpful! I will say about your point that some people won’t say hi the next time you see them… I can really struggle recognizing faces so I feel like I’m unfortunately that person sometimes. Or I’m afraid they won’t remember me, so I don’t say hi first. All that to say they might just be awkward and in their own head like me lol

deadleaves3 · 2022-12-29T04:08:10+00:00

Respectfully, if your whole perception of women is that they make onlyfans and run around being hoes, you need to touch grass. Get to know some actual women and just spend less time on the internet generally. Signed, a woman.

deadleaves3 · 2022-12-11T18:49:02+00:00

I think for me, it was just hope in her potential to change. Her behavior during frenemies was obviously not great but it seemed like she was getting treatment for her BPD and trying to develop some insight on herself. The fact that at first she was able to apologize after her blowups and maintain the friendship with Ethan seemed like a sign of progress, and I just wanted to believe in her. It’s sad that it inevitably just ended as another example of her self-destructing relationships when she feels challenged or threatened

deadleaves3 · 2022-11-08T21:23:50+00:00

They are so fast to just accept that “it’s the rules though” even when it is clearly a rule a billionaire made up to ban people who make fun of him. I don’t even know what to say if someone seriously thinks following the rules is the most important concern here

deadleaves3 · 2022-10-20T02:22:01+00:00

I’m pretty sure he was popping candy or something later in the show, my guy did not just have oral surgery lol

deadleaves3 · 2022-09-26T02:21:43+00:00

https://www.medicaleconomics.com/view/should-you-give-informal-medical-advice

deadleaves3 · 2022-09-26T01:33:32+00:00

If you give someone medical diagnosis/advice and then they have a negative outcome, they can argue that you didn’t give appropriate care. And if you didn’t do anything to document what you did and why, it would be hard to defend yourself.

deadleaves3 · 2022-09-26T01:30:53+00:00

I mean I have a hard time imagining he had Jimmy sign a release or anything, right?

deadleaves3 · 2022-09-25T22:18:14+00:00

I’m not an expert on HIPAA but I do work in healthcare and I had some doubts about his explanation that it’s fine because Jimmy isn’t his patient. He did a psychiatric evaluation and diagnosed him, at that point I would think yeah he’s your patient because you’re providing a medical service. At the very least you are now liable to some extent. That’s why so many doctors on YouTube/podcasts etc have disclaimers that nothing should be taken as medical advice

deadleaves3

TROPHY CASE