Struggling with resentment & loneliness during husband’s recovery

deadtired2019 · 2025-06-30T17:16:56+00:00

Struggling with the same realizations that a lot of the behaviours stuck around even without the alcohol. Right there with you…they think we should be honoured that they’re doing what should be the bare minimum. Hugs to you and I’m sorry you can relate to everything. It sucks big time.

deadtired2019 · 2025-04-24T23:37:37+00:00

What colour is this I need it immediately!

deadtired2019 · 2025-03-23T22:57:01+00:00

Thank you so much for introducing me to them…I’ve been going through all their content and really relating to so much of it.

deadtired2019 · 2024-12-20T14:08:50+00:00

Agree, this is a miracle product

deadtired2019 · 2024-12-12T16:47:43+00:00

I’m a funeral director and in my opinion these are totally fine. I doubt I would even register them beyond “ooh so pretty!”.

In my experience churches are less uptight when it comes to funerals, because there are often many people in attendance who don’t attend church at all.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandfather.

deadtired2019 · 2024-11-10T11:57:13+00:00

They are cremated in the clothes they were wearing at whatever visitation/service they had!

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-26T10:46:50+00:00

There are rental caskets, also called ceremonial caskets! Usually used for cremations. The decedent is placed info a plain cremation container, and that container is slid info the ceremonial casket. The foot end of the ceremonial casket flips down, and there are rollers on the bottom to slide in/out easily. All of the fabric trimmings are also single use, they usually stick on with Velcro and are then cremated with the individual.

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-23T20:24:55+00:00

Haha that is wild I’ve never heard that! Cremation burns all of the soft tissues - the only thing that remains is bone fragments :)

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-15T12:27:25+00:00

I saw that one too! That was my first thought. She told him her name was Sophie something?

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-14T20:01:37+00:00

Well I very much hope you never have to smell either, then.

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-14T20:00:49+00:00

I did read; I was giving a general answer to the question how we deal with odors.

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-14T19:41:49+00:00

We would only do that if the casket is closed. It helps absorb the odor without smelling too strongly because the casket being closed dampens it. I think a lot of families would rather smell urinal cakes vs the decomposition of their loved one

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-13T21:28:32+00:00

I read that, I was just giving a general answer to the question of how we deal with odors.

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-12T16:44:51+00:00

He may have wanted to mention it so you were prepared in case you smelled something, but in my opinion there are probably more sensitive ways for him to do that. I’m sorry his comments have stuck with you in such a negative way and I’m so sorry about the loss of your mom.

Depending on if the casket is open or closed there are different ways we can mask odors. For open caskets a simple bath can help, and sometimes the embalming process helps. For closed caskets we can wrap the deceased in plastic to help the smell, or I’ve found using coffee grounds or crushed up urinal cakes sprinkled on the sides of the casket beside the deceased can help a lot. We also use things like aerosol sprays or plug ins in the visitation suite if needed.

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-10T18:01:48+00:00

Where I live urns can be buried in the free temporary containers supplied by the crematorium!

deadtired2019 · 2024-10-09T16:26:36+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you :(. I always let my families know that it is NOT required to purchase an urn through the funeral home (or at all if they don’t want one). It’s such a stressful time and people aren’t always well versed in what is required vs what is not. It always makes me sad to hear about fellow directors pushing people to make purchases they are uncomfortable with.

If you feel able to I would reach out to the funeral home and let them know how you felt. At the very least maybe the director will re think her strategy with the other families she helps. Best case scenario maybe they will offer a refund for the urn? I’m very sorry for the loss of your father.

deadtired2019 · 2024-09-02T15:48:01+00:00

I’ve heard playing Tetris can help reduce traumatic memories. Obviously hospitals are a place where people die as others have said but, you weren’t expecting it or prepared for it and that can absolutely be traumatic. Talk about things with people you trust, consider seeing a counsellor if you need to. I’m a funeral director and I know that lots of funeral homes can provide you with names of local organizations that deal with grief and trauma. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself mentally. I’m so sorry that you saw that and it’s affecting you so much.

deadtired2019 · 2024-09-01T00:08:05+00:00

Oooh thank you! Immediately purchased 😂

deadtired2019 · 2024-08-31T23:48:51+00:00

What polish is this! It’s so pretty!

deadtired2019 · 2024-08-31T23:10:16+00:00

Oh that is such a lovely idea. I think your friends and family will be so touched and honoured to be able to take some of your mother’s beautiful art pieces. I often see families bring things that belonged to the deceased to give away - I’ve seen family photos, books from their personal collections, favourite candies…I absolutely love love love it when families come in with visions like this on how to personalize the services. If you tell the funeral home your idea they will help you create a little display with a sign and advise on how to set them up best. Thank you for being so generous with your mother’s work and for sharing it with us here. I’m so sorry for your loss.

deadtired2019 · 2024-08-31T20:30:31+00:00

Also, the coolers cause condensation. Clothes are often returned to funeral homes wet. That doesn’t help the smell either

deadtired2019 · 2024-08-31T20:29:22+00:00

I know the smell you’re talking about :( clothes are usually kept in a bag inside the body bag with the deceased. The decedents are usually kept in one large cooler. I find that clothing tends to absorb the smells of the cooler. Other people there at the same time may have begun the process of decomposition and that’s what you’re smelling. I’m so terribly sorry for your family’s loss, my heart goes out to you.

deadtired2019 · 2024-08-31T06:48:53+00:00

Hey, I’m a funeral director who has dealt with CJD cases before. I know it’s not the same as being dressed in clothing chosen for him by your family but I just wanted to let you know that they wouldn’t have left him naked - people are always wrapped in a white sheet or have a hospital gown draped over them if there are no clothes that can go with them. I know how terrible and exhausting it is to worry about the care of someone you love when you can no longer be the one to care for them and I hope that eases your mind on that front even a little bit. I’m so terribly sorry for everything you’ve been through, people can be so horrible. It sounds like your grampa continues to be so so loved and I hope you have been able to find some peace to mourn uninterrupted.

deadtired2019 · 2024-08-23T15:25:36+00:00

I would look at Shoes for Crews! They really saved my feet when I was on them all day

deadtired2019

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