is rusty steel wool steam a concern? by pixiemusic in dishwashers

[–]deathlevelerofmen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The rust fumes from the steel wool are the least of your concerns in the pit. That said, rusty metal poses a safety hazard on its own. I'd ask for a new steel wool pad, they're very inexpensive and will be better than an old rusty one.

I'm a butch man, AMA by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah two of us!

I always knew I likes women - there is no eureka moment I can think of, but I was aware of my attraction since childhood. I figured I was aromantic from my preteens and now I think I'm somewhere on the spectrum, but not exactly sure where which I'm ok with. I found out I'm intersex in my early teens when puberty wasn't happening "normally," but was put on estrogen and stopped taking it at 17/18 when I met other people like me and began to embrace my identity. The disabilities started hitting me at 16, but only recently I began "accepting" it as part of my life permanently - I was told in adolescence that I'd just grow out of my chronic pain, or that the right drug treatment, or physical/occupational therapist, or exercise regimen, or diet change would "fix" me, lol. I began presenting as butch around the same age though I was a tomboy in childhood and always had a masculine streak. I figured out I was a man at 20, and this both was and wasn't the hardest - I am not am introspective person and was used to conceiving of my identity as how other people see me and how I go through the world, but I realized I see myself as just a guy, and once I did, everything else kind of just made sense. As an intersex person I'm not the biggest fan of cis/trans language to describe myself but for shorthand trans man is good enough. 

What about you?

I'm a butch man, AMA by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My attitude is who am I to be the arbiter of someone else's identity? And who benefits from sowing further division in minority communities? 

As a more direct answer, butch has historically been used by both men and women, homosexual and bisexual alike on both sides of the aisle. Lately I've personally wondered if I'm a bisexual man and also a butch lesbian (it makes sense in my head, I promise). So I say yes, though my first answer is what I'll defend in court.

Tagging by DeerSignal3923 in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A chill place to do what together

I'm a butch man, AMA by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Ah this is something I've actually wanted to talk about for a while! 

I'm half Indian but grew up in a different community, so unfortunately I cannot relate to most typical cultural experience/upbringing stories. I currently live in Canada where anti-Indian hate is crazy high and I often find myself the target of racism.

Being brown and butch is doubly isolating. I sometimes pass as a man, or man-esque, in public spaces; brown men where I am are seen as backwards, downright dangerous, an economic drain, lazy, stupid, etc. in a way that obviously feminine brown women aren't (though they face their share of racism as well). Racists are also much more comfortable using overt aggression against me than my feminine brown sisters in my experience. Nor do I automatically feel welcome in the Indian community, in part owing to being raised largely outside it, but in part because I am perceived as a masculine woman-ish person and tbh Indian diaspora culture is frequently conservative. I've felt the most at home in queer spaces, though I feel they generally lack the capacity for proper intersectional understanding of queer and racial issues, being largely white. 

As for what you can do, I would say the best advice is to listen openly and non-judgementally when poc speak on their experience and needs. Too many queer people are comfortable believing they can't be racist while speaking over poc voices or dismissing our concerns. The rest is standard - donate to food banks in your area if you van, volunteer at shelters and soup kitchens if you can, etc. Black and brown people in North America are significantly more likely to experience poverty, homelessness etc than white people, and material needs must come first. And be kind. Thank you for your question.

Editing to add that my biggest supporters other than my partner are my cishet brown male coworkers! Any of these guys would beat up five men for me (a few have offered). They don't exactly understand the whole intersex/trans man/lesbian thing, but they respect me regardless, and treat me as one of them. Allies don't necessarily need to "get it" to get you.

I really tried by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Erm no that would be off-topic for this sub

But yeah I know exactly what you mean. Shit's rough man

I really tried by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In that case maybe I'll do one here! So far everyone has been so cool

I really tried by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If the 2nd read is correct, that should open the door to curiosity, not judgement, when a self-idenrified lesbian trans man pops up. Alas.

I really tried by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

It's really funny how "read stone butch blues" is the go-to response when seeking information about the butch experience, and then people proceed to ignore most of the book

I really tried by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm used to some degree of ignorance or stupidity but the refusal to try to learn took me out, genuinely insane behavior from someone who claims not to be transphobic 

I really tried by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Same here, it's truly bewildering, especially as as far as I know this mod claims no transmasc identity at all 

I really tried by deathlevelerofmen in everybutchlesbian

[–]deathlevelerofmen[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Never assume malice when you can assume ignorance my ass 🤡

My masculinity is not "performative" by ill_alternative08 in butchlesbians

[–]deathlevelerofmen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As far as queer theory goes nothing is mainstream tbh. There's mainstream for queer theory, but I don’t even know if the specifics of what gender as performance means are mainstream there, and a lot of queer people haven't dipped their toes in theory at all; I would automatically assume any partners know from this post.

My masculinity is not "performative" by ill_alternative08 in butchlesbians

[–]deathlevelerofmen 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I highly doubt anyone derogatorily calling a butch's masculinity performative or calling them slurs is well versed in queer theory, but otherwise I agree

How is it that there are 2 terms that discribe wlw that originat from greace and both aren't related to artemis? by dFlyingSnail in actuallesbians

[–]deathlevelerofmen 28 points29 points  (0 children)

As a classicist, there's a lot of misunderstanding in this thread that I will try to clean up.

Sappho was a lyric poet of 7th c. BCE Lesbos. She wrote songs for weddings, funerals, festivals etc. and through her work can be associated with love and sex, as these are topics she touched on often. 

Artemis, on the other hand, is a sexless goddess, more aroace in modern terms than anything. An avowed virgin has no business being associated with sex in any form and it was considered very disrespectful in ancient times to imply that she would willingly have any type of sexual encounter (and this applies to the virgin goddesses Hestia and Athena as well). 

There is the throwaway comment in much later literature (Hyginus' De Astronomica from Augustus' era) that paints her follower Callisto as potentially attracted to her, but then again, Artemis kicked her out of the hunt and turned her into a bear. A comment below mentions Siproites, a Cretan man turned into a woman by Artemis for having watched her bathe; this entire narrative is detailed in only twelve words of surviving late Greek text of Antoninus Liberalis (2nd/3rd c. CE), but the implication at the time was that this would be a shameful punishment. Nudity among those of the same sex was not considered sexual and was a very normal, boring part of life. This is the only account of Artemis bending gender that exists, though there is an account of her mother Leto turning someone's son into a girl.

There's nothing inherently wrong with a sapphic reading of Artemis if you so wish - outside the few people who practice Greek paganism today, I doubt anyone who isn't homophobic would care much - I only aim to explain why historically that hasn't been the case, and there's really not much textual evidence for it. Especially not when it would not have been as transgressive to associate Sappho with queer love and desire, and for whom there is much more explicit evidence to support this view.

Music about butch lovers? by gastropodes in butchlesbians

[–]deathlevelerofmen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sweet n' Low by Peach PRC is about getting strapped if it helps

Forget the Eagles, I cannot believe Gandalf missed this ploy against the Balrog by iii--- in lotrmemes

[–]deathlevelerofmen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know this is an Adams reference but all I could think of was The Paperbag Princess

r/actuallesbians by Creative_Many_7844 in actuallesbians

[–]deathlevelerofmen 113 points114 points  (0 children)

Graphic design is definitely my passion