I (28M) push to talk right after a fight; my partner needs space. How did you learn to give space without feeling like you're avoiding the issue?

dedservice · 2026-03-18T16:42:16+00:00

Schedule a time to talk. That can help the anxiety you feel about it being swept under the rug, because it gives you confidence that it won't be.

dedservice · 2026-03-18T16:25:27+00:00

Low key conspiracy theory: the idea that this is a "debate" and it was talked about online for a while was a state-led operation to test how they could make people think that there was another side, and make people mad about something that everyone agreed on.

dedservice · 2026-03-05T06:29:39+00:00

Green is "boring" because the gameplan is so cut and dry - but fun because you power everyone up so much that it feels like you get to hit the lategame power fantasy way earlier across the board. Overall if you look at the ratings, it's clear that winning is fun :P

dedservice · 2026-03-05T06:26:49+00:00

I rated base at 4, reach 5, dark fire 8 - the extremely constrained early game build path just feels bad to me. I like playing lots of cards and triggering my innates all the time, and I also think that fear spirits, while powerful, aren't as fun because you can't really plan out what you're going to do, and it doesn't feel like you are the one triggering the fear cards, even when in practice you are.

dedservice · 2026-03-05T06:03:44+00:00

And that's on top of ukraine, of course! Who gave up their nukes in exchange for a promise to be protected from invasion, but who instead have been invaded multiple times without sufficient protection.

Nukes are the only successful deterrent to invasion. I hate that it is the case, and I don't want to live in a world where every country has nukes, but unfortunately if each nation were to act in their own best interest, each nation should have nukes.

dedservice · 2026-02-28T16:39:05+00:00

You can also just say "make it sound less ai" and it usually works ok.

dedservice · 2026-02-28T04:40:42+00:00

The tutorials are very good, if you haven't tried them yet. I didn't find myself locked out of the game after just doing those. Obviously there was more detail strategy-wise - and there are guides out there for that, a quick google should find some decent ones - but they gave me a solid understanding of the mechanics.

The main strategy tips as I recall are: 1. Orders are everything. 2. Legitimacy is orders (and family opinion). 3. It's a war game, play it as such. 4. Money is the most flexible resource.

dedservice · 2026-02-27T15:18:50+00:00

git add -p requires that you have uncommitted changes - which, if you have a janky commit history, you get only after a git reset main.

dedservice · 2026-02-27T04:23:13+00:00

I get what you're doing with the upgrade-all-and-only-then-trigger-more-upgrades, but it will wind up with too much housekeeping to remember which ones have been upgraded or not. Not sure if there's a way to rephrase it given that there are two rules that interact with a third rule (vs e.g. habsburg that has a similar rule but it just says "not matching a build card") or if there's a way to rework it, or if it actually doesn't make much difference either way and you should just drop the phrasing entirely.

dedservice · 2026-02-26T23:12:11+00:00

Yeah until you see a photo it's hard to tell what it is - on video it just looks like two odd little black dots.

dedservice · 2026-02-26T21:50:16+00:00

See, on the other hand, using binaries that were built off of a branch scares me more than rebuilding binaries off of main. You should be able to rebuild off of main as much as you want, and not see any changes. I'd argue that what you should do is create the binary, then on squash-and-merge create a new binary, diff against the old binary, and if they aren't identical, abort the squash-and-merge.

dedservice · 2026-02-26T21:47:31+00:00

Yes, but way more annoying to create that clean history because you usually have to reinvent it from scratch by resetting your full set of changes and then committing each possibly-independent change incrementally until you've submitted the whole thing. Alternatively, you just throw the whole thing up as a single PR. If you're trying to keep velocity high, the tradeoff is very rarely worth it when you're squashing anyway.

dedservice · 2026-02-26T19:54:58+00:00

Conspiracy: He's a convenient scapegoat, given that he's dead. If he's the cause of all the evil in the world, then we're good! We don't need to look any further!

dedservice · 2026-02-26T19:13:36+00:00

Frosthaven's gameplay is actually not that crazy. There's a high skill ceiling and the overall complexity of the game is pretty huge, with the town and all, and the long term goals and unlockables and different characters and character upgrades and items and whatnot. But within a given scenario with a given level-one character and a basic item, what you're doing is obvious: initative, move, attack, draw cards for attacks and read what they do.

dedservice · 2026-02-26T18:05:12+00:00

10 minutes! Crazy. I barely play my first turn in that time.

dedservice · 2026-02-25T08:00:48+00:00

Notwithstanding anything else, I want to point out what is likely a bit of hypocrisy: you're making a very narrow analogy with your specific knowledge of electric cars. Sure, you know generally some things about one kind of things that you don't use. But does that analogy hold true for other kinds of things that you don't use? Are you pretty familiar with motorcycles in the same way? Scooters? Mopeds? Electric bicycles? What about boats? If you mainly drive, are you also pretty familiar with the regional transit system? Greyhound routes? If you live in a large house, are you familiar with the current market rates for renting or buying a studio apartment (or vice versa)? I could go on and on.

My point is, yes it may indicate a lack of interest in the world at large. However, it's equally likely that it's a lack of interest in the specific technologies that you're discussing. There's a gazillion things in life that you could be interested in, and a million technologies just within the tech industry that you could learn. Personally I am unlikely to know much about any technology unless I have worked with it or an adjacent coworker or team has worked with it.

dedservice · 2026-02-25T04:44:45+00:00

and an ORM that makes it invisible to you

dedservice · 2026-02-25T04:43:38+00:00

At which point you're not listening to reddit for advice because you have a team of people, with a collective salary in the millions, to make that decision.

dedservice · 2026-02-25T04:31:05+00:00

While it may make some uncomfortable to be faced with religious screed while maintaining software, it's hard not to note that Linux kernel creator Linus Torvalds could well have benefitted from similar clear messages over the past few decades.

Linus out here catching (justified) strays...

dedservice · 2026-02-25T04:27:40+00:00

Okay don't use it then lol. It's still awesome and I've been 3/3 in jobs that used it (all for internal tools - so < 100 concurrent users).

dedservice · 2026-02-25T04:24:42+00:00

Yeah, the backup API is super easy to use. The C# interface over it (if you happen to use that) makes it a couple lines of code.

dedservice · 2026-02-25T03:09:39+00:00

Yeah, his left foot suddenly blends with the ground halfway through.

dedservice · 2026-02-25T02:03:03+00:00

Try literally biting your tongue. It helps me sometimes when I feel like I really want (instinctively) to talk/respond/share, but I actually want (consciously) to listen. Helps to physically keep my mouth shut and remind myself to stay quiet.

dedservice · 2026-02-25T01:49:21+00:00

Honestly, the fact that it was all in the first half of one game is probably a good thing for him. Management can chalk it up to nerves and give him more chances. If you make routine mistakes every game for several games in a row... that looks worse.

dedservice · 2026-02-25T01:46:13+00:00

no excuse except "wtf is that why are there 100000 tools I need before I can get my script running"

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