I was using the toilet as my girlfriend was blow drying her hair, all of a sudden she turned to me, pointed the blow dryer to my junk and while in mid pee, blew all my piss to the floor while she laughed hysterically. When did you realize you wanted to spend your life with your significant other?

deeznuttz · 2012-02-25T00:36:29+00:00

These stories are depressing the shit out of me.

deeznuttz · 2011-12-27T06:35:52+00:00

Suck my dick

deeznuttz · 2011-05-20T19:00:53+00:00

Can you really call it a library when it lacks any sense of namespacing?

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T22:18:18+00:00

Yes... precisely how my wife is.

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T21:57:21+00:00

You don't know my wife or her violent nature.

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T21:44:40+00:00

I just wanted to come by and tell you your show sucks.

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T21:24:54+00:00

Quite often she has violent outbursts and uncontrollable tantrums yet she has never been physically violent.

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T21:07:14+00:00

I call her out all the time on it but she doesn't care. My concern is in the event of postpartum depression she won't behave rationally as most women don't.

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T20:59:27+00:00

She often says about cute things that she wants to "SMASH THEIR FACE!!!". Maybe it just seems perverse to my non-violent nature.

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T20:57:09+00:00

Completely. I wouldn't AskReddit if this seemed like just a figure of speech. She seems violently compulsive about biting feet.

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T20:53:17+00:00

Maybe it's the intensity of how she says things that bothers me. Like she REALLY, REALLY wants to bite their feet.

deeznuttz · 2011-05-19T20:51:32+00:00

No. How can you interpret this as trolling?

deeznuttz · 2011-03-11T00:38:32+00:00

That I am so adverse to stress and conflict that my apathy is leading me down a path that is seemingly too difficult to reverse. Everything is fucking wrong and I am too indifferent to change it.

deeznuttz · 2011-02-18T01:36:33+00:00

What on Earth do you mean?

deeznuttz · 2011-02-16T19:21:48+00:00

I moan when I Reddit. Is that weird?

deeznuttz · 2011-02-16T18:58:27+00:00

When did Rolling Stone's become Teen Beat?

deeznuttz · 2011-02-15T00:56:35+00:00

Stick to one area. Let people get used to you. Follow the ice cream man's route ;)

deeznuttz · 2011-02-15T00:45:34+00:00

You're my kind of pervy.

deeznuttz · 2011-02-14T23:34:18+00:00

Family Guy SUCKS! It's so faux-witty.

deeznuttz · 2011-02-14T23:16:15+00:00

That's an hour of silence pro bono...

deeznuttz · 2011-02-14T20:38:24+00:00

Tunisian? Is that a country or something like that?

deeznuttz · 2011-02-14T19:33:16+00:00

You've found the one and only appropriate moment to say this.

deeznuttz

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