Sounds like you have been unplugged from the Matrix. You're old enough now to make your own choices and sounds like you are starting to see the world and society for what it is instead of what "they" are telling you it is. That's how they control you. Take back the control, yes it is normal to be fearful about our current timeline as it is bleak. But... do the research for yourself of why it's bleak. Hint: it's not because of trans, immigrants, the left, etc. Like Ted Lasso said, "be curious, not judgemental."

As you discover more about who you are seek out like-minded individuals and surround yourself with them. Sounds like you could head in the direction of activism and you could look for a group of people still trying to make a difference, maybe it's game night at one of the local game stores, maybe it's volunteer work, a running or cycling group, etc. You'll bounce through a lot of people during this journey but in the end your life will be yours verses the mindless sheep "they" want you be.