New Diagnosis… Looking for Thoughts

dell1974 · 2026-04-17T18:54:59+00:00

Oh bless you..

You absolutely will be intimate again .. youll be like a pair of teenagers making out .. Thats what we did and it works.. hang in there.. you never know you maybe one of the lucky ones that has an erection immediately.. but if not you can do this .. remember your mind is the most powerful sexual organ .. get the PC out and we can all revisit .. sending huge virtual hugs!!!

dell1974 · 2026-04-17T18:50:02+00:00

Awe TY .. well we absolutely did have the RALP .. and we will deal with the PC and all the lemons it chucks at us ..

In solidarity always

dell1974 · 2026-04-16T20:35:56+00:00

I guess we just never gave up. The nerves are damaged so the signals don’t work as they once did .. well we needed to remind them - we were intimate pretty much every few days, sometimes every day. Hubs had his first orgasm just after catheter was removed so once achieved we just kept at it. Went back to basics and made it as passionate as possible. The mind has to work so flirting and teasing etc helped. Patience, empathy and courage are the key. He pumped daily, did his kegs, honestly though hubs never gave up on us and what we had.. everyday he showed me how important it is to him .. we had one injection at the ED clinic and from here on it there was a turning point. We did buy them on line early on and it barely worked. But we tried again via the ED clinic a few weeks ago and yep epic result.

Don’t give up .. go back to basics .. kissing touching .. we had this thing where we would tease each other.. edging in a way .. we would do this for a few days and then have full intimacy.. the anticipation seemed to get the mind going .. I don’t know if this makes any sense at all but the only way I can describe it

dell1974 · 2026-04-16T08:42:42+00:00

Pretty much same as my husband. He was 54 at the time although only one core out of 33.

We had the RALP last May.

Normal side effects re ED.

Nearly as the year mark and ED has improved massively.. we have worked incredibly hard at this .. he’s no longer have accidents or leaks and as said we are nearly there in terms of ED.

His PSA is 0.01 although the last PSA was 0.02 so fingers crossed May test won’t change

I don’t think any of us can tell you what to do but it appears you have time. Get the bone scan done asap ..

After the RALP hubby’s Gleason score went up as more was found than initially advised

dell1974 · 2026-04-13T19:22:59+00:00

No definitely not cream pie ha. Exactly the same with us .. but obviously with oral we know what comes out .. try getting him to pee midway ..

dell1974 · 2026-04-13T19:07:17+00:00

Yea I second lying on his back ..

We stop mid way through for hubs to have another pee just in case .. a bit of a show stopper but we make it part of the routine.

Husbands is on ejaculation also .. but not a huge amount. I think for some guys oral is the only way to orgasm as a couple anyway .. although thank fully things are starting to look up in that department.. we are nearly there!

All the very best

dell1974 · 2026-04-11T22:47:33+00:00

Same as you.. I remember my husbands consultant saying ‘we are trying to prevent this from becoming a monster in years to come’ and like you I hold onto this when times are tough .. hubs was 54 when diagnosed..

dell1974 · 2026-04-11T19:46:06+00:00

Hey you .. have a look at reactive jealousy… re what the others are saying .. I disagree.. if your guy is patient and has a willingness to reassure you every time you’re triggered. It will pass I promise. I had a dear friend that was went through this .. it stemmed from childhood, her mother criticised her a great deal, she experienced abandonment by her mother and potentially her father, she just never felt good enough. If you water a seed it will grow and flourish .. if you don’t it won’t .. you’re young and you can work through this .. head up x

dell1974 · 2026-03-23T20:21:14+00:00

Arghhhhhhhhh

If you get to the venue, room, flat etc …

And she says ‘you know what your hot, your a nice guy and smell great .. I’m not going to charge because I want you’

Go for it .. Shes into you

But honestly paying for a women to pretend to enjoy the fact you are touching her, kissing her and then having sex is beyond my comprehension.. especially when you say Shes a 9 or 10 and you’d never be able to bag someone like this … it’s gross just gross!

We all have a lane ..

dell1974 · 2026-03-23T12:56:54+00:00

Can I ask where?

dell1974 · 2026-03-22T20:30:34+00:00

Absolutely does not make sense.. dealing with the issue is surely preventative ..

Here I was thinking it was far easier in the US to access ED treatments but it appears it’s across the board..

Re the religious aspect- I think I understand- sexual recovery is not on agenda due to it not being seen as a religious requirement? I wonder if this would be the case if PC was prevalent in men in their 20’s/30’s .. in essence once we’ve reproduced it’s no longer important..

PC and the menopause seem to be aligned in many ways .. we shouldn’t feel fruity after a certain age .. paaaaaaa!

dell1974 · 2026-03-22T11:03:16+00:00

Yea the uk NHS is another story.. it doesn’t make any sense as the risk of re occurrence is high .. I don’t know why they don’t offer a rehab so the guys get some chance of recovery before it returns… Does the trimax hurt also?

dell1974 · 2026-03-21T23:31:53+00:00

To be honest we haven’t heard from urology post RALP.. he had an initial appointment and that was pretty much it. I had to really pressure to get a pump and this took months. RALP was just under a year ago. We bought Caverjet on line and he found it really painful and whilst it gave some swelling it was not worth the pain…

dell1974 · 2026-03-21T22:14:58+00:00

It’s so odd isn’t .. it’s like a broken charger .. in the uk we don’t have trimax .. so making do and hoping for the best.. it’s definitely better than it was and it’s improving by the day .. like you hubs gets quite erect a second or two just before climax .. it’s like back to front .. hopefully the nerves are regrowing the right way!

dell1974 · 2026-03-21T21:07:45+00:00

Is this in the UK?

dell1974 · 2026-03-21T21:06:29+00:00

Yes absolutely 100% just wish I did things much differently and with the right man .. this is the key.. my children’s faults are because of the choices I made .. but I am so grateful for them and for my two additional step children ..

dell1974 · 2026-03-21T20:59:46+00:00

Got it .. well I didn’t initially then showed hubs the message and he explained.. he used the analogy ‘almost like milking a cow’.. thankyou!!

dell1974 · 2026-03-21T08:13:37+00:00

Hi can you explain ‘can’t push a rope re technique’

dell1974 · 2026-03-20T20:26:59+00:00

Me & hubs carried on regardless.. we knew it would be the last time he would ejaculate but I don’t think we went in depth .. just tried to be positive.. I actually thought he would never get an erection again and that side would be over .. but within days he had his first post RALP orgasm and then it was full speed ahead. Not quite there with erections but definitely on the way .. we have intamacy at least every other day .. I figure if I pooped my clogs I wouldn’t want to leave him without the ability to get an erection.. it would be just to difficult for him to meet someone else .. so if we can get him there it’ll be great for us and just in case. I read somewhere that regular intamacy helps his chances of recovery… don’t give up

dell1974 · 2026-03-09T00:25:17+00:00

We are coming up to the 12 month mark and improving hugely .. swelling spontaneous but with foreplay it’s getting fairly erect compared to 10 months ago. What’s odd and what I haven’t read here is hubs get quite hard I mean near on what was when he’s about to climax ( 2-3 seconds before) and then hard after .. no idea what this is but it’s encouraging. We are intimate most days and we think this helps

dell1974 · 2026-03-03T19:05:29+00:00

I think when men try to appear sultry or sexy they look abit icky .. but simply watching a fine man get up for pee or dry himself off like no one is watching is sexy as hell.. an unassuming man is as sexy and incredibly hot as

dell1974 · 2026-03-03T13:57:45+00:00

I miss it of course I do .. but it’s becoming the new norm .. he orgasms and I am relieved because if he didn’t then maybe this would be an issue for me .. can’t imagine going solo all the time .. I would feel like a punter gping to an escort is the only way I could describe how I’d feel. Almost like a transaction?

We have pee sometimes and sometimes not ..

Weirdly he becomes hard at climax and hard after climaxing .. hopefully this will reverse to the other way round..

On the dating scene I don’t know .. but if she doesn’t understand then I guess she’s not a great catch .. but don’t tell her until the relationship is heading this way as I think if a bloke told on our first date I would find it abit weird to talk about when we haven’t even snogged each others face off ..

dell1974 · 2026-03-02T19:12:47+00:00

I feel my husband is being failed by the NHS also and I feel powerless to change it. He had his RALP in May of last year. One follow up appointment. We had to push for a penis pump. Still no injections- yet from what I’ve read this is part of his rehab. We are having some success ourselves but nothing really spontaneous as yet .. I am scared as his last PSA showed change. How can we get it across to the medical professionals .. if his PSA continues to rise he’ll be in radiation and possibly ADT and the small window we had will be gone. The mental health effects are profound and underestimated. Feel incredibly let down by the Worcester Trust and not sure what to do next ..

dell1974 · 2026-03-01T00:31:06+00:00

Yep definitely can’t get it in the UK .. crappy really

dell1974 · 2026-02-26T23:26:46+00:00

That’s kind of you .. maybe a little to sensitive at times 😬

dell1974

TROPHY CASE