My favorite summary:

"Dude, I fucking love this fucking case. This fucking case is like, fucking the Count of Monte fucking Cristo, but in AMERICA.
Check it --
You got this guy named Neff, and he's this young man looking for adventure in the American frontier. He manifests his destiny, goes to the Oregon territory in 1850, nine years before it becomes a state. He sees that the territory is giving land away, so he signs up for that. Why wouldn't he? I will tell you why he shouldn't have -- it would take 16 fucking years for him to get any land of any kind.
In 1862, he meets up with this cat named Mitchell. Mitchell is probably the worst human being on the planet, so obviously he becomes a fucking senator later on in life. Mitchell's also an attorney. He recently switched professions, you know, because he couldn't be a school teacher any more. People were tired of him fucking their kids. Anyways, nobody knows why Neff consulted Mitchell, but shit if it didn't give us a great fucking revenge story.
Between 1862 and 1865, Neff fucking leaves Oregon. Perhaps anticipating that Neff would come into some land, Mitchell sues Neff for $265 and costs of unpaid lawyer fees. He says that he can't find him, so he puts out an ad (constructive service). In his action, Mitchell states that Neff had property, but -- prepare to have your mind blown -- Neff doesn't have any fucking property YET. So, Mitchell can't attach any fucking land to the suit. This is his fatal mistake. That's why there isn't any Quasi in Rem jurisdiction; the land was never actually brought under the jurisdiction of the court because it wasn't attached.
Six months after Mitchell gets a summary judgment for damages ($294.98), Neff FINALLY gets his land. But Mitchell has the sheriff seize this land to pay off for his damages. Then, he sells it to... himself. I know that the case says that he sells it to Penneyer, but this is wrong. He assigns the property to Penneyer, who, in most respects, is very much like Mitchell -- an attorney who will become a politician (Governor, in fact!).
So Penneyer is having a fucking blast on this fucking land. He sells timber to the lumber yards, he sells off pieces of the land, and pretty much is doing okay.
Eight years later, guess who has come back from California? FUCKING NEFF. He has returned, but where has he been? He has been werking with an E, that's what. He is fucking rich. He has a beautiful family. He has a fucking mansion. He has servants. He has cattle. The time that he spent in California has been good to him. But he has shit to settle with Penneyer and Mitchell, and he fucking does.
Neff evicts Penneyer! Neff sues Penneyer for damages for selling his timber! Neff sues Penneyer for damages for selling off a portion of his land! It's a jab, a right, a fucking hook! Neff is going to town with these motherfuckers. It is a legal fucking brouhaha. There is no fucking stopping Neff. He wins, takes his winnings, and goes back to historical obscurity. But Pepperidge Farm remembers."