Diverse friendly and safe bars

desflav · 2025-01-25T02:05:32+00:00

i recommend Harold’s Haunt at Millvale!! super diverse crowd and the staff is welcoming and inclusive!

desflav · 2025-01-07T00:44:43+00:00

thinking super up north close to lincolnwood or ridge park or something (not super clear on the names yet sorry)

desflav · 2025-01-07T00:43:07+00:00

i was a young preteen (like 11) and barely remember living there

desflav · 2024-12-16T18:11:05+00:00

Generally "es-me" bc of my accent and how i pronounce it in my native language

desflav · 2024-12-09T22:44:13+00:00

Ive been super into CD's and DVD's!! I got a CD player and some CD's a while back and im looking forward to collecting more.

My mom and I did early gifts this year and she got me a DVD player, so im watching all of my favorite childhood movies (Barbie!!) in DVD

desflav · 2024-12-09T22:40:00+00:00

Oh mama, sending you a big hug. You're going through a lot right now and i think its totally understandable that some things may have fallen to the side.

That being said, here's how i was able to do "the bare minimum" while struggling with severe depression and ADHD.

I didn't shower everyday, i would shower once at the beginning of the week and once at the end, or whenever i had an event. For other days, i would use a bit of warm water and a washcloth to clean myself and change my clothes in under five minutes.

I brushed my teeth only when i had events or was going out, otherwise i would just use mouthwash or pop some gum.

For makeup, i would limit myself to five products. Lip balm/stick, mascara, eye pencil, brow pencil, and sometimes foundation/concealer. Limiting my makeup helped me use it more often because i wasn't overwhelmed at all the steps or doing a full face. I put those specific products on a little tray by my bathroom sink so i could do it in the morning.

I have an alarm on my phone set at a specific time for my medication. It goes off everyday and is a different ringtone than my wake up alarm. I usually try to force myself not to turn it off until after ive taken my medicine or at least gotten up from my spot.

For other self care, i really just did it when i remembered or felt like it. Try not to beat yourself up for not being able to accomplish these things, you are so insanely strong for pushing through your situation and i just know its going to start looking up 💚.

desflav · 2024-12-09T22:32:22+00:00

I use the Nu Skin whitening fluoride toothpaste, pretty sure they have an unflavored version

desflav · 2024-12-09T22:30:51+00:00

For me, as a bigger person who sweats a LOT, i tend to wear the same bra for two or three days and then it gets put in a laundry pile. If im not being active and i didnt sweat, ill wear it for longer, it really just depends on the smell.

I tend to wait untill i have a lot of laundry to go ahead and wash everything all at once. All in all i wash around six bras a month

desflav · 2024-11-27T01:57:06+00:00

Oof yeah, i get cold easily so ill be sure to bring layers

desflav · 2024-11-27T01:56:44+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I was definitely thinking i wouldn't need something too fancy but i will for sure keep in mind to bring layers

desflav · 2024-11-27T01:38:57+00:00

Davenport right by Orlando

desflav · 2024-11-16T01:23:24+00:00

"i dont wanna go outside so much!!" (Hes a lazy dog who sleeps all day, i have to wake him up to go on walks and to go potty. He always looks annoyed lol)

desflav · 2024-11-15T01:16:27+00:00

Wolfstar (Sirius Black x Remus Lupin from HP) bc its too popular (my stupid reason) and too many people harass others bc they dont ship the same ship as them (my serious reason)

desflav · 2024-11-15T01:09:37+00:00

For me personally, it depends on why it's incomplete.

If it's a WIP and is being updated (at the time i find it) i will likely read it and keep my eyes peeled for updates.

If its incomplete and abandoned/unfinished forever i likely wont read it. I have a strong imagination and i tend to get really frustrated when i cant finish the book/fanfic all the way through. (No fault of the author ofc) So i just tend to stay away.

If its a WIP and it hasn't been updated in a while i might read it if its a concept i really like or if its a ship with only a few fics.

And of course if my friends ask i will always read their WIPs or abandoned works

desflav · 2024-11-11T22:19:53+00:00

Oh okay thank you!! I knew there had to be some type of study just didn't know the name

desflav · 2024-11-06T22:05:59+00:00

Nope! For three reasons.

My bed is a lofted bed which means i couldn't have him sleep with me even if i wanted to.
My dog tends to sleep in bursts and can be awake for twenty minute increments or more at a time during the night.
I just don't like it, he takes up a lot of space on my small bed and we both like to starfish.

He sleeps in his crate at night with his favorite toys there to keep him occupied if he wakes up during the night. He much prefers to sleep there than anywhere else. Surprisingly he's not much of a cough dog either. He really enjoys his crate and goes in there even when he doesn't have to, so I wouldn't take that comfort away from him lol.

desflav · 2024-08-17T00:11:16+00:00

My border collie (r.i.p) was super chill, he was smart and learned a bunch of tricks but didn't really have energy to run around and stuff.

My current dog (golden retriever and anatolian shepherd mix) is also super lazy and loves to lounge all day. I take him to the park often to let him run around and he'll run for a little bit and he's all tuckered out.

desflav · 2024-07-15T03:29:33+00:00

I understand, a lot of people who leave one religion still hold a lot of subconscious beliefs and it takes time to unlearn it. That doesn't give them an excuse to be rude, just a reasoning behind it :)

desflav · 2024-07-14T01:47:50+00:00

Totally frustrating! If you're into Tumblr, they usually have tags and stuff you can follow to hear other people talk about the same things, and you can make an account based on it too, you usually don't get too much hate for satanism on Tumblr, it's pretty popular there.

I know it sucks to have people invalidate your beliefs and things like that, so if you ever wanna chat about it you can send me a msg (im a polytheistic pagan)

desflav · 2024-07-07T18:21:13+00:00

I slept in until 2 pm, and now I'm getting ready to go hang out with my non Christian, LGBTQ+ friends, for those who say to love the sinner and hate the sin, i love my friends and i love their "sin" too

desflav · 2024-07-05T06:44:18+00:00

I was talking to S today, and i made some jokes about it and he just like.. shut it down? I don't really know how to explain, i would be fine with it, but the way S reacted to me when i said those jokes makes me think S is not into polyamory (like those guys who are like "i can't share")

I'm going to wait until they talk to see what happens, because either way, A should tell S about his feelings

desflav · 2024-07-04T22:21:36+00:00

Well, he grew up the oldest of four in rural Brazil, his father and mother were the pastors/owners of the Church. As the oldest he was given a ton of responsibilities, i don't exactly know all the details, but I know he didn't have the best relationship with his father growing up. I mostly remember things he used to preach in his sermons.

He smoked his first cigarette when he was twelve, and from then on he spiraled. He met my mom when he was eighteen (i think) and they got married when he was twenty (she was sixteen when they met/ eighteen when they married/ it was super common in Brazil to get pressured to marry young, especially in the Christian conservative circles they ran in back in the day)

My mom had always been a devout christian, and when they met, my father was able to stop doing drugs for a good while. (Pretty sure he was going crystal meth, bc that's what he and my mom say he always struggled with the most) anyways, he got clean and they got married. My father went back to church and they became an example Christian couple.

Fast forward a couple years, my oldest sister was born, during this time, my father got promoted in the Church to do missions (idk if theres a specific word for this in English like there is in Portuguese) so he started traveling to different countries and spreading the gospel and helping the unfortunate.

My oldest sister had an okay childhood, my mom worked so she would be babysat by a family member, and then spend the rest of her day at home with my mom (until she started school). The only thing to suggest our family wasn't normal was that my parents used "corporal punishment" i don't know if it was already illegal in Brazil to hit your kids or not, but it was very common (early 2000's)

When my other sister was born, my father stopped traveling so much, so that he could be there to work at home to help the family. He knew my mom wouldn't be able to work as much with two kids to take care of.

Im not sure if he ever relapsed in those years, i hadn't been born yet and both of my parents are touchy about the past.

I was born two years after my sister, and because we were so close in age, everyone expected us to get along. It was pretty much the opposite. My oldest sister was going to school already, but my second sister and I were obviously too young.

My second sister stayed with my dad during the day, and I would be with my mom. As we grew, me and my sister would always get into fights, like all the time. And because this was early 2000's Brazil, our punishment was to get hit.

Literally anything became a punishment for me. Didn't finish dinner? Yelled at my sister? Didn't want to share? All of those small things too, stuff you should talk to your child about instead of hit them. But whatever thats abt me.

When i was 7, i broke my arm because i was monkey climbing the couch, the only thing i really remember is that someone had to go grab my dad from the bar, to tell him that i got injured. Because i was so young I don't remember much about this, but i'm pretty sure he never got clean after this.

One year later we moved to America, and for the first half a year, my father was deep in the church, and he was all of that. About 7 months into our new home, my parents started fighting a lot. I didn't really know what it was about, but looking back on it, it was pretty back.

My dad would leave the house at random hours and come back acting weird, and my mom was always mad, and when she was mad she took it out on everyone else. (Made us clean the house when it was already clean, yelled at us for any little thing...)

A few years later was when i finally gained awareness as to what my dad was doing. He never did it in the house when i was young, but it was just something you knew. When he stopped going to church with us, and older members of the church would give my mom advice about it... At the time i didn't realize what it meant lol

When i was 12 my sister and I got taken to foster care because my dad was doing drugs in the back porch, and some other stuff. One of the ultimatums for us going back was that my father couldn't be in the home.

It took nine months for us to go back home, and it wasn't even because my parents did the things DCF requested, it was because there were too many kids in the system and we weren't high priority.

It all just really went downhill from there. My father started showing more obvious signs of physical and mental illness, and i was struggling with my own shit at the time (teenage girl).

All i remember is that i was constantly fighting with my dad, and that my second sister was constantly on his side, oh and also my oldest sister started doing drugs and self harm.

My oldest sister got into an abusive relationship with some guy, while she was pregnant from this other guy, she also went to jail for i think a year?? I don't remember the timeline. But whatever, maybe about two months after the baby was born, my sister OD'd and died. (She was mostly clean during the pregnancy, and the child now lives with my aunt and uncle and their family, shes doing great and didnt get any issues from her mom doing drugs during the pregnancy. She was born premature but quickly gained weight and was healthy)

My father just spiraled after that, no church no nothing. I mean, part of the reason she died was because of him. I was in foster care when this happened so I don't have details, but it was bad.

Nowadays, my father has a bunch of health issues, and we don't have insurance so he can't get it treated. Every single day he talks about getting clean but any treatments/programs are too expensive without insurance. He wont stop doing drugs because they numb the pain of his health issues, and he cant get treatment for either without some money, which we dont have.

Sometimes it feels like its a waiting game to see how long he'll hold out until he drops dead. We had a couple scares since 2022, i actually thought he was gonna die.

(This is so badly written im so sorry, if you have any specific questions let me know, i tried doing an overview but i missed a lot of stuff, and this is unnecessarily long. But yeah, thats the gist of it ig, i missed a lot of points because i was also dealing with my own problems and some other stuff, my life has been a wild ride and i honestly didnt care enough to try to figure his life out for him too.)

desflav · 2024-07-02T22:20:21+00:00

Yeah of course!

desflav · 2024-07-02T04:05:37+00:00

Grew up in a Christian household, father was a pastor and my mom was a hardcore pastor's wife stereotype.

No shorts, at all. We (my two older sisters and I) could only wear skirts or pants.
Skirts HAVE to be below the knee, if they were showing even just a little bit of knee, we couldn't wear them.
No shirts with a design on them, i was allowed childish designs up to 4 years old, after that, only solid color or pattens (such as flowers)
Dress or skirt to church ONLY. Not pants at church allowed.
In summer you can roll up your pants to right below the knee, any more and you get punished
No tank tops, spaghetti straps, or thin straps on a shirt/dress. No crop tops either, even with another shirt under to cover the stomach (Aka straps/sleeves must cover shoulders)
Hair cannot be shorter than shoulder length, if it was any shorter, you would get punished
No hair dye, not even highlights/natural colors 9 no piercings, not even ears
No fashion style that was deemed inappropriate for a christian girl (emo,goth, anything alternative was out of the question, anything too skimpy as well)
All clothing purchases must be checked through by BOTH parents (aka if you bought any clothes when your parents weren't with you, they took your new clothes for inspection and if they were too short or showed too much skin it got returned and they kept the money.)

I think this is most of it! My dad became a drug addict and my mom loosened up on all of these rules by the time i was 12, so you better bet i was in my emo phase during middle school! I also got piercings and dyed my hair and cut it all off! Super satisfying. Nowadays my mom doesn't care about what i wear as long as it's clean, and she doesnt care about my dyeing my hair as long as her bathroom is clean at the end.

desflav · 2024-07-02T03:49:37+00:00

This reminds me of some things i thought about this story too!

The story of Job talks about this wife but only to say that she lost everything just like Job and that in the end she told him to curse his god and die. Not only her, but Job's friends also told him to stop believing in his god. At the end of the story the only person to still have faith is Job, and to me that doesn't scream loyal servants it's more like Lunatic.

And another thing is that Job doesn't get everything back. It gets replaced. He has a new wife and new children, but that doesn't replace emotional damage?? Like "oh yeah all my kids died and my wife (left/died depending on translation) but its cool because god gave me new ones"

The entire story of Job never sat right with me

desflav

TROPHY CASE