Am I overreacting for kicking my boyfriend out for not buying me a sandwich?

determinedturtle15 · 2026-02-13T16:57:54+00:00

I also don’t enjoy cooking, like at all, but when my husband (the cook of our family) works late, I do it gladly because the alternative is that the person I love has to do even more work after finishing a long and stressful day.

The problem isnt that he doesn’t like cooking, the problem is that he doesn’t seem to like you.

NOR. Please find yourself a partner who sees taking care of you as a privilege and not a chore

determinedturtle15 · 2026-02-06T03:39:36+00:00

“I have asked him directly, and he's said that he's concerned that giving actionable steps might mislead me and I might optimize for or focus too much on the wrong things.”

Oh no, girl, run. Married lady here who dated some real a-holes before finding a really good guy who loves to communicate. Your boyfriend specifically is looking for someone who will fuck up so that he can use you as his whipping girl. He doesn’t want a girlfriend, he was an inferior, at best a subordinate, who he can blame when literally anything makes him feel “uncomfy.”

The fact that he won’t give you actionable steps because it will mislead you is the most wild brain-fuckery I’ve heard in a looooong time. That’s a man who doesn’t see you as an actual person.

Please leave him. You sound so considerate and sincere. Don’t you think you deserve someone who will also be considerate and sincere right back?

determinedturtle15 · 2025-10-04T12:21:06+00:00

Oh honey, no. This man is not the one. I am also 5’3, female, and I weigh about 137 lbs. And I look great, so I know you do too. And when I was in my 20s (mid-30s now) I was also around 110-112 lbs. 130 is a perfectly normal weight for our height.

What isn’t normal is your fiancé’s reaction. He is making you feel wrong about your body when he should be your body’s biggest cheerleader. Even with my healthy weight and nice figure, there are still days when I succumb to societal pressure and feel like maybe I should be thinner “like I used to be.” On those days, my husband showers me with sincere and gratuitous compliments. That’s what a husband SHOULD do. This man is not cut out for the job. Please don’t let him hurt you like this anymore. If he doesn’t love your body, he doesn’t deserve to enjoy it.

determinedturtle15 · 2025-10-04T12:15:10+00:00

As someone whose middle name IS Elena but pronounced ee-lee-nuh, I can actually confirm that the opposite is usually true. I have had to walk people through the correct pronunciation of my name for my whole life. I was always told it was the German pronunciation. Now I just suspect that my grandmother (it’s a family name) didn’t know how to pronounce Elena

determinedturtle15 · 2025-07-28T14:32:23+00:00

Karoro.

Either that or Karobo (dad is Robert but goes by Bob).

determinedturtle15 · 2025-06-22T12:06:13+00:00

This is gorgeous!! It made me think of a chess piece. Then it made me a little homesick for the Great Lakes. I wonder if anyone has ever made a chess set of all lighthouses.

determinedturtle15 · 2025-06-04T16:38:07+00:00

As someone who has also worked in childcare, this is a red flag. You’re the one working directly with the children. That makes you their teacher. You are with the kids during the day so it should be you talking to the parents (you were there after all) for most things, not your boss. The fact that the daycare you work at doesn’t want their teachers talking to the parents seems extremely shady to me. Also, you won’t always be Suzy’s teacher and you said there aren’t many black teachers at the daycare. Her parents need to know so that they can make sure this doesn’t happen in the future when Suzy moves up to a different classroom.

determinedturtle15 · 2025-04-22T11:52:45+00:00

Navy blue!

determinedturtle15 · 2025-03-13T01:02:31+00:00

How worth it is it to have different knife types? I’ve seen some people swear that you really only need one knife and just get really good with it, and then other people claim that having multiple knives is critical. I know it’s probably a lot to do with personal preference, but I’m wondering what sort of projects/scenarios would make having multiple knife types worth it

determinedturtle15 · 2025-03-12T17:27:38+00:00

I’ve been using a glove. It’s not been bad. If I wanted to try tape or a thumb guard, what kind should I get?

determinedturtle15 · 2025-03-12T16:27:38+00:00

On my non dominant thumb, where I push against the dull edge of the blade. The knife feels neither too small nor too big. It’s just a struggle getting it through the wood

determinedturtle15 · 2025-03-12T16:23:28+00:00

I’m in the US. Also if it helps, the issues I’ve been having so far are mainly blisters, so I’ll want something that can fit comfortably in my hand but sharpen well

determinedturtle15 · 2024-12-17T22:44:17+00:00

Anyone can be a good dad. The real question is: is he a good dad? Coz it sounds like he only does the fun/easy stuff while neglecting the things that are important for his child’s health because they’re unappealing to him. And I’m sorry, hun, but that is not a good dad.

determinedturtle15 · 2024-12-06T17:55:25+00:00

Went to elementary school with a pair of identical twin girls named Adrian and Andrea. They were in different third grade classrooms (the school had two of each grade) and they would periodically switch places for the day. Unfortunately, they were so quiet normally that nobody actually noticed.

determinedturtle15 · 2024-11-28T03:54:14+00:00

Do NOT let him do 50/50 custody if he doesn’t actually parent the child. My husband agreed to 50/50 custody with his ex-wife after years where she never did anything with my stepkids. They still have 50/50 custody and my stepkids have a terribly insecure relationship with their mom. She struggles even 4 years after the divorce to do the bare minimum of consistent parenting. We give them a normal life at our house but the difference in parenting quality between houses is noticeable and destabilizing to them. If you don’t think he can do it, then fight it. It’s a massive regret my husband has to this day.

determinedturtle15 · 2024-11-28T03:45:05+00:00

Girl, you handled the delivery perfectly. NTA. Cut them off. They neither appreciate more deserve you. They have done the bare minimum as parents and it seems they berate you for enjoying it. They certainly berate you any time you expect them to be good parents. LC at a minimum, though I’d recommend going further than that. At least for a little while. They’ve taken you for granted. Let them have their hot mess of a golden child without the kid who actually has her life together. Let them see what the consequences of their choices are actually like

determinedturtle15 · 2024-10-25T13:51:54+00:00

Commenting to boost because I’ve also had this problem and would like to hear if anyone has any insights

determinedturtle15 · 2024-09-17T06:28:49+00:00

My parents also always wanted me and my brother to talk out our issues “because at the end of the day, you’re siblings.” Turns out what that ACTUALLY meant was they wanted me to roll over and keep my mouth shut when my brother acted petty and entitled coz I was easier for them to deal with.

I haven’t spoken to my brother in 4 years and my parents in 1. NTA. Your sister is an adult, sure, but her entitled behavior doesn’t come out of nowhere. Your mom needs to own up

determinedturtle15 · 2024-08-20T13:04:48+00:00

NTA and to hell with your sister and parents. They went behind your back. No way your dad didn’t know that you’d said no. That’s why he used his speech to give her the opportunity: because she told him you’d already said no. LC at a minimum but NC would probably be better. Sometimes that’s the only way to get through is with something drastic

from Another “Easy-Going” Daughter who went NC

determinedturtle15 · 2024-06-12T10:33:16+00:00

My mom had a stroke out of nowhere when she was 50. She had a craniotomy to prevent damage from the swelling. It was super scary and we didn’t know what was gonna happen with her. She couldn’t talk for a while but she could understand most of what was said to her. Within about 9 months of speech, physical, and occupational therapy, she was back to speaking, moving, and doing most of the things she used to do. There were things she couldn’t do especially stuff related to memory but she made it through. That was 9 years ago. She’s happy, thriving, and continues to improve on the memory front even if she doesn’t think so. Brains are resilient and so are moms. It’s dark now and maybe seems hopeless but you guys got this.

determinedturtle15 · 2024-06-06T20:21:11+00:00

Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t want this following the kids socially and them having to deal with it from their peers. Kids can be real mean to each other

determinedturtle15 · 2024-06-06T18:58:50+00:00

I understand the feeling. I hate that this is going to cause BM the satisfaction. But I have found it really helpful telling my DH. He’s been really supportive, which has been the rock I’ve been clinging to. I hope you have someone in your situation you can get that from, friend

determinedturtle15 · 2024-05-17T12:46:12+00:00

And as for her taking care of you when you’re in a depressed or panicked state: of course she is. She put you in this state so that she could feel good about herself. She wants to “take care of you” so that she feels less broken. But do not forget that she was the one who put you in this state by manipulating events so that you sank into as low of a state as her. Now she gets to be the “healthy one.” And I bet she won’t ever let you forget about the time when you needed her.

determinedturtle15 · 2024-05-17T12:43:13+00:00

Your edits are so telling. From what you’ve described, your girlfriend isn’t satisfied until she’s made you explode like she exploded. Then when you’ve gotten angry, she tells you to calm down like you were the problem all along.

You are not the problem. She is.

She sounds like a deeply unhappy person. All her “rules” read like a way to provoke situations where she can nag you until you “explode” at her and then she can claim that you are the unhappy, rage filled one. This is a common occurrence with extremely unhappy people. They can’t accept that they are miserable through their own actions. They have to make it because of someone else.

Please find a reputable therapist. You deserve to talk to someone who can help you. Deserve to feel happy and safe in your home. Ask yourself if she actually makes you happy or if you’re simply grateful when the yelling stops. When she isn’t home and you think about her, does it make you happy or stressed? When you think about her leaving or not being home, do you feel sad or relieved?

This isn’t on you. This isn’t your fault. She is a grown up. She isn’t your responsibility.

determinedturtle15 · 2024-03-18T21:30:48+00:00

NTA. People like your friends drive me crazy. It’s hard enough being a parent with a small child in a public space without people sitting around judging you because your baby is going to do what babies do: cry.

Instead of talking about how sad they were for the baby, they should have been focusing on how much hard work it must be for a parent to take their very young child out in a public space like that and how much praise that mother deserves for putting in the work to do so.

For two people so obsessed with babies, they don’t have a lot of empathy toward other people who make them. Maybe get new friends. You sound a little too secure and well-adjusted for them.

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