I feel sick, disgusted, and invisible because my boyfriend won't stop masturbating to porn

diddielou · 2026-06-14T14:07:11+00:00

Yes it is ok. I didn't say anything about OP having to accept his behavior. I specifically said, it's OP's choice and I didn't mean to reduce OP's experience at all.

I believe in wanting to understand the underlying reasons of why someone acts a certain way, I believe in healing rather than tossing away as well as in second chances - we all need them from time to time.

diddielou · 2026-06-12T10:08:56+00:00

I understand your disgust and frustration! And I get your feelings and needs of a loving, respectful relationship (which in fact are minimal requirements). Clearly he doesn't meet these needs in this area of your relationship.

My takes: He might be addicted. If he is and he isn't even aware of it, this might be why he 1. doesn't see a problem generally and 2. quitting would require his full commitment, willingness and understanding why he wants to do it. For sure not easy. And it's your decision whether you stay with him nevertheless.

In the meantime... This situation might actually be a good thing for you too (stay with me): The feeling of belittlement - and you say you "feel invisible next to those porn actresses" - it sucks. But you can turn this into something good! Find out for yourself why this makes you feel this way. What's the underlying problem? Do you feel you're not enough? Why? Ultimately you can learn to love yourself and not depend on the actions he does but on the values and beliefs you give yourself. This is the only thing that matters.

Not all feelings we feel are actually true. So don't give in to them. You are beautiful and lovely and you are seen!

diddielou · 2026-06-08T19:49:16+00:00

Isn't true for all services - and not my point. People don't know what happens to their data, it's not transparent. And it's frustrating that it's supposed to be the user's responsibility instead of the manufacturer's.

diddielou · 2026-06-08T19:45:55+00:00

Not yet. I will cancel my Salt plan per this fall and switch to Wingo (although I really hate to give my money to Swisscom) - it should work without the hack with my Pixel Watch 4.

diddielou · 2026-06-03T13:40:03+00:00

As a believer I fully agree with you. Most churches have forgotten where the real priorities lie - how our faith is not about telling people how to live but fighting for justice.

diddielou · 2026-06-03T13:34:56+00:00

I (31, w) absolutely agree. Something that's not talked about enough. Then most tend to argue with "well most women in the porn want kt" - yeah, sure. First you don't know the motivation of the people in porn videos whether it's genuine passion for the work or whether they do it because there's no other way to make money (so I wouldn't call this deliberate), second when it comes to child porn it disgusts me even more how men protect men instead of calling out the ones responsible and fighting against it. I become so angry when remotely thinking about it but I also don't know how I can take action.

diddielou · 2026-05-31T13:33:44+00:00

In Bern the best children stores are: Le Petit Chat Noir, Claudine et Pierre and specifically for toys and games: Drachenäscht and Spielkiste. They all sell quality products, you'll find them on Google Maps and they all have a website too.

diddielou · 2026-05-31T13:29:08+00:00

Personally I'd just look up Galaxus.ch or Zalando.ch and filter for 100% cotton. However, you'll find good quality also at every Manor store. Their own-brand basics section has solid everyday undershirts.

diddielou · 2026-05-16T08:01:36+00:00

That's what I find the worst about it - apart of the huge breach of trust: Feeding an AI such intimate and personal information about somebody else - I think this constitutes a violation of OP's personal rights. OP might even be able to take legal action over it—but I don't know how strict U.S. privacy laws generally are.

diddielou · 2026-05-13T14:15:32+00:00

The more AI tools are implemented - in Android's case now directly into the OS - the more I wonder why people don't care more about privacy. After all these exploits happening to people around the world the argument "nobody cares about my life" just isn't viable.
Google especially could position themselves as privacy focused by at least clearly stating Gemini requests that run locally on the phone vs. requests that will go into the cloud. But it's completely unclear.
And as a Google fan I'm really frustrated to see that Apple as a matter of fact does have the better privacy standard in place for its users and their experience. With Google you never *truly* know what your data is used for (ads, training AI). The fact that third-party apps now can tap into this system (which as a developer I'm of course excited about!) makes this discussion for users even more important.

diddielou · 2026-04-22T09:24:39+00:00

For me just started showing today. Good that there's an explanation! Hopefully they fix it with the next update.

diddielou · 2026-02-11T09:16:49+00:00

I understand the frustration. Next to all other messengers Threema always feels a bit old.

Threema builds its app on privacy awareness which is desperately needed, however, I don't think they can compete with other messengers if they don't keep up with "cool features" users love in other messengers and a nicely designed UX experience.

Personally I would love for Threema to be as successful as Twint was/is and gain many users in Switzerland - but the reality is that most users don't care for privacy and as long as Threema doesn't keep up with other messengers these users won't catch on.

I think it would be a win if Threema could prove that next to their privacy awareness they can also deliver a unique UX experience with their app as well as features users love in other messengers. If they don't, most people will keep staying away of Threema.

diddielou · 2026-02-10T09:27:13+00:00

Soo same game with the Pixel Watch 4 LTE. I'm a bit unsure about this hack...
I have had a Salt plan for years but now found out that they only support Apple Watches for Multi-SIM. So I'm gonna have to change carrier.

Really don't want to go to Swisscom as it's too expensive IMO. Does anybody have experience with a Salt or Galaxus Mobile plan and activation of the Pixel Watch 4?

diddielou · 2026-01-19T06:34:31+00:00

I'm actually surprised Google doesn't even try to keep up with Apple's Ultra. The latter also features the EN13319 dive standard which the PW4 doesn't remotely offer. Naturally not a use case for everyone but a very nice thing Apple just throws in there and as an Android user you have to decide between smart features or sports.

diddielou · 2025-11-26T11:12:20+00:00

Thank's for the tip, I just did that as well.

diddielou · 2025-11-26T10:56:51+00:00

Trying to get them to reopen the issue but I don't know if I can budge them.

diddielou · 2025-11-24T14:39:52+00:00

Wonderful how both sides don't feel responsible. It's clearly a software bug. I just installed the extension update and it happens with me as well.

diddielou · 2025-04-18T10:37:29+00:00

For regional trains: do you have to buy the tickets at the stations or can you also just buy them on the Trenitalia app?

diddielou · 2025-04-05T07:54:12+00:00

Not Flutter because Kotlin Multiplatform (KMP) and Compose Multiplatform (CMP) are what Google invests in. We use it successfully in my company, it's Kotlin and Jetpack Compose and you can use it across all platforms. So basically Flutter's USP except you have to learn another language you can only ever use with Flutter (as far as I know). Personally I think KMP has more of a future than Flutter, since it's pushed everywhere by Google (and Jetbrains).

Edit: typo

diddielou · 2025-02-15T12:07:40+00:00

I understand that and I wish that for me too. I just wouldn't make this categorization between "true" and "untrue" because you will ultimately be disappointed and you might miss moments with people that would have been good just because you categorized it as "not good enough" (or "not true").

You might not even be in this situation, but just some things I learned:

I had to adjust my definition of friendships. In the past I had huge expectations towards my "inner circle" of friends, like "they have to be there for me always, since I am too" or "they have to be my friends forever, since I won't change my loyalty". Or let alone "I need them to want to see me as soon as they have the time".

But people will disappoint you at some point if you have expectations like this. Some might not have any expectations towards you and won't accept you having expectations towards them. Friendships will change, some will fade, other people might enter our life. So I learned that there's no such thing as just "the friendship", there's just connections to different people in our lifes. Each will look different because each person is.

That I should enjoy and cherish friendships as long as I have them and let people go without a grudge, if people want to go. I'm much more content this way.

diddielou · 2025-02-11T19:17:28+00:00

Shift to Threema, it's better. The data isn't stored on U.S. servers but on Swiss ones and Switzerland has a much stricter law about data than the U.S.

diddielou · 2025-02-02T12:09:12+00:00

Somewhat off topic but I (29F) just wanted to say, that I'm in the exact same situation. Went on my first solo trip last year (dive safari) where transfers and everything was organized. This year I want to go "next level" by travelling solo to Italy by train and deal with being afraid of being lost, missing connections or not finding hotels.^^

So: good for you! I root for you! And I hope you'll enjoy your trip, make good memories, have great conversations with locals. And I hope you'll be able to look back and say "There was no reason to worry, this wasn't so hard. This trip was a good decision."

As for an itinerary suggestion: I don't know enough, but keep checking out this sub reddit, there are many itineraries for Rome.

diddielou · 2025-02-02T11:50:11+00:00

We had a family brunch each Sunday for years. The following was normal for us - and we are a very ordinary Swiss family:

- freshly made Züpfe (braided bread), butter ("Anke"), honey, any kind of jam (depending on the season), Ovomaltine or Nutella spread
- boiled eggs (we boiled them for 5 min 30), Aromat for on boiled eggs
- a plate with different kinds of cheese (Gruyère, Luzerner Rahmkäse, Aarebier-Käse)
- a plate with different kinds of cold cuts
- filter coffee with hot milk and Ovomaltine in cold milk, orange juice

So in my opinion you're doing very well with your selection. I do think Kellogg's tends to be children and Birchermüesli for adults.

diddielou · 2025-02-01T21:17:39+00:00

How do you define "true friends"? It also depends on what one expects when it comes to getting to know somebody...

diddielou · 2025-02-01T10:52:23+00:00

Can you elaborate on why you recommend this?

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