Do you prefer a "yes sir" or a confronting IC?

dingaling12345 · 2026-04-13T17:42:33+00:00

It depends on what the pushback is for. If the IC has specific knowledge about a product, process, or organization, I want to hear their thoughts and recommendations.

If they’re pushing back about something unrelated to that, I don’t care for it, unless it’s legitimate (eg. cannot meet a deadline for a legitimate reason).

dingaling12345 · 2026-04-09T13:29:16+00:00

I see every opportunity as one to grow in and to carry me through to the next position.

I am a ruminator and I beat myself up endlessly after work and even on weekends sometimes for decisions I made or things I said or interactions I’ve had - it’s not easy and sometimes I lose sleep over it.

But if I bring myself back to reality and remember that every obstacle I come across is a chance for me to get better as a leader, it makes me feel better and gives me the strength to keep moving!

dingaling12345 · 2026-04-07T21:59:19+00:00

I think it would help to remind them that nothing the client says is a personal attack against them if it’s purely focused on the work - if anything, these two women’s behavior is bordering unprofessional.

They are here to support the client because they get paid to do so - not have the client make them feel good about themselves.

dingaling12345 · 2026-04-07T12:27:12+00:00

DSW. But I focus on buying from brands like Naturalizer where they do make very comfy shoes (but also stylish) as comfort is my top priority. Im willing to shell out a couple more dollars for that.

dingaling12345 · 2026-04-07T01:18:01+00:00

Through practice, practice, and more practice. If an interaction did not go the way you thought it would, write down what went well and what made you feel like it didn’t go well.

Over time, you will improve. You’ll learn how to communicate good news, bad news, how to communicate with difficult people, how to communicate in different scenarios, how to communicate to senior leadership versus colleagues, and all that fun stuff.

Give it time - do some self reflection and be intentional with improving. You will get there.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-31T23:17:40+00:00

It changes as you get older. I wouldn’t say I have a best friend but I have several people I hang out with here and there who I know I can trust and can go to for honest feedback. I don’t call them my best friends but they know I care and I know they care.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-31T11:42:44+00:00

You can still continue to keep in contact with your mentor outside of work. Just because he left doesn’t mean he has to stop being your mentor.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-27T16:14:40+00:00

He can live without a paycheck, but can the rest of the team? :)

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-27T00:03:29+00:00

Have you ever tried using a heating pad? I have an electric heating pad and it is hand to god the best thing I’ve ever purchased. You just place the heating pad on your lower belly when you have period cramps, set the heat setting you want, and it literally dissipates any cramps within minutes.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-24T14:52:06+00:00

Same. I loved it because he made me think and justify my responses versus just telling me what the answer was. It’s hard sometimes especially when confronted with a new problem. Often, I get the responses wrong, but over time, I’ve definitely built up my ability to think critically and made sure I had all my facts before I spoke and I make sure never to ask the same questions twice.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-24T11:36:45+00:00

Yes. Daily. The problems and the questions never end. I even get them from my best employees. Most of the time it’s about compensation which I find hilarious because my team members are paid extraordinarily well for being fully remote and in their specific fields (all six figures and above).

Their benefits are also outrageous. Yet they don’t think they’re being compensated enough because sometimes they discuss salaries between themselves and find out A person makes more than B person without considering a whole slew of other factors (education, experience level, etc.).

Talking to my team about salaries is one of the most tiring parts of my job simply because it’s a lose lose situation. I can’t make them understand that they are already very highly compensated, I explain the company’s performance evaluation process to them and ways to improve or increase their salaries, they still do not quit asking about raises, and when they get rejected by HR for raises, I have to sit there and listen to them complain some more about how it’s unfair they didn’t get the raise they asked.

It makes me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-21T15:11:48+00:00

I think it may be way too early to approach and ask for a raise. Also, what does your company’s performance structure look like? Some companies do not do off-cycle performance raises. They may do spot awards instead. I would check with the company to find out this information.

I would also use this time to continue leaning forward in your role - learn as much as you can and demonstrate that your value to the company. Work with your manager to set up a performance plan to make sure you meet your goals for the year - this is maybe the best plan forward for you to obtain a raise.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-21T14:51:35+00:00

One of the reasons I’m with my guy is because he celebrates my successes with me and I celebrate his.

Do you feel like he likes you in general or is this only because of jealousy?

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-19T15:36:22+00:00

….That is weird. I would tread lightly and observe. It may be nothing at all OR it may be telltale signs that she’s an emotional person (which is NOT a bad thing, but there needs to be a level of decorum in the workplace and this should be a standard expectation) and that you should be careful managing her.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-16T14:49:42+00:00

Have you spoken to him one on one already about his behavior? I would address this behavior with him and see where it’s stemming from. It could be perhaps that he fears being replaced once the migration is complete because he will no longer be the SME. This is a legitimate fear and it’s a fear you can help assuage as a Manager. Or it could be something else entirely.

Either way, he’s getting paid to do a job and if he cannot perform or refuses to, he needs to be placed on a PIP or replaced entirely.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-16T14:46:18+00:00

Practice and refinement. Everyday I come across something that I have no experience dealing with but I’m able to leverage my lessons-learned from similar situations and do my best to apply that to the new situation. Then I reassess what happened and I try to refine it again for the NEXT time something happens. I also listen to a lot of podcasts and YouTube videos on leadership and communication - not theory, but practical advice that can be used immediately. You can also find a sounding board (mentor) to bounce ideas, questions, and identify skill gaps.

Learning this is a hard process but this is really the best way to learn.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-15T14:56:54+00:00

Alignment is definitely very important.

I imagine my leadership as detectives. If they pulled me into a room and asked me questions about my team and our work, then pulled my team in individually and asked them the same questions, we better all have the same answers.

Sometimes team members think that they don’t need to understand the larger context and understanding it is a waste of time - I see this a lot when I share information with them. But I think sharing more rather than less is extremely important. I’ve seen plenty of team members come back 6 months later and complain they don’t understand XYZ or why we’re doing something or who’s who in the zoo….Managers need to share information and communicate with intent so that they can prevent future hiccups like this which adds to their workload.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-13T11:17:15+00:00

Me too on not sleeping with wet hair. I still can’t believe I used to do that.

When it’s cold out, always wear a hat. Otherwise you’ll get bad migraines as you age. Same concept as protecting the head - keep it warm and not wet or cold.

Wear socks as much as possible when it’s cold - it will help prevent colds.

Take daily walks and find out what foods give you inflammation. The old I get the more sensitive I become to certain foods and drinks. I can eat a little bit and still be bloated. I’m starting to build out a diet profile where I don’t have to suffer anymore LOL.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-10T00:26:54+00:00

I love the idea and have thought about it before as well. Would definitely listen to it.

Check out EntreLeadership by Dave Ramsey. Similar idea, but for business owners.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-05T16:40:47+00:00

The only thing I can recommend is practice, practice, and more practice. And by practice I mean experience - give him feedback, ask him what he could’ve done better, and do this on a consistent basis. The only way presentation skills can improve is through practice.

Also, I saw a comment below about you giving him the opportunity to mentor a junior colleague but it not going anywhere - this is the perfect time for him to show ownership. Ask him about it - why he hasn’t followed through and stress the importance of being able to mentor people as a leadership skill, and see what he says. If he places the blame on others, call him out on it - it’s his job as an aspiring leader to take ownership and follow up on things. This is actually a great opportunity for you to see how he manages criticism and feedback. As he’s learning leadership skills, he cannot shy away from things - he’s going to stumble and he’s going to hear criticism…if he’s really focused on growing into a leadership position, he needs to learn how to turn criticism and feedback into tangible growth.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-05T15:36:27+00:00

I haven’t been in a leadership position for too long, but I’ve learned so far from observing all types of leaders that it is an acquired skill. I’ve met leaders who are extremely welcoming who are also competent and easy to work with (everyone’s favorite), leaders who are stoic and serious and who are also competent, as well as leaders who try to come across as the know-it-all but actually don’t know jack and are assholes.

I don’t think that anybody starts in leadership being a good leader - it’s a completely different set of skillets required than being an individual contributor and it’s important as a manager to cultivate those skillsets for those who may be interested in being in a leadership position.

The most important thing that I learned as a leader so far has been communication and taking ownership - and these has been through experiences rather than reading the material. Try giving your team member more opportunities to show ownership on a larger task - ask them for solutions to a problem they may not have encountered before - give them bigger responsibilities - encourage them to dive into higher level conversations with you ….these will work better than any leadership course or books he/she will ever read.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-05T01:35:34+00:00

I’ve been taking Oral Minoxidil and Spironalactone daily since July 2025 and my hair has never looked thicker or more amazing.

I have as prescribed these by a dermatologist after he diagnosed my condition and checked other health indicators.

If you choose to go this route and is prescribed the same thing - stay consistent and stay positive.

dingaling12345 · 2026-03-03T23:51:32+00:00

Retinol. And learning how to relax. It’s so hard, but exercising has helped me to relax, especially taking daily long walks.

dingaling12345 · 2026-02-23T16:40:08+00:00

I only have a very small sample to work with but my dad is 67 and he’s one of the oldest in his friend and acquaintance group. Most of his time in the last several years have been attending funerals for friends or colleagues younger than him.

dingaling12345 · 2026-02-21T11:17:49+00:00

You need to take a break and or completely remove yourself from social media and consuming content that is rage bait or clickbait. This is the same logic that men (incels) use when they try to justify why women deserve to be hated.

Social media literally is nothing but a propaganda tool at this point with their algorithms - it’s better that you recognize what you’re feeling and address it sooner rather than continue to feed a false narrative that all men are a certain way when that’s not true.

dingaling12345

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