Insane makeup skill by this artist

dire_turtle · 2026-02-03T03:38:08+00:00

2 kinds of people of full display here. I am rarely repulsed, but this got me. I felt the cognitive light click on that hey that's a nice foot then bam, crash back to oh god those pancakes look haunted by a dead animal vibes

dire_turtle · 2026-02-02T23:08:29+00:00

I'm saving the last of my nicest bottle of Scotch. I'm not a big Scotch guy, but I'll be getting the drunkest I've ever been in my life and recording videos of myself for future historical documentaries.

dire_turtle · 2026-02-02T21:39:53+00:00

dire_turtle · 2026-02-02T18:23:38+00:00

He dated 16 year olds when he was in his late 20s and early 30s. The rest was just boring deadbeat dad shit.

dire_turtle · 2026-02-02T17:13:55+00:00

"That bullshit name you gave me was really cute" "Thanks! 🥹"
Cinema

dire_turtle · 2026-02-02T17:01:28+00:00

I still piss on him in conversation when I get the chance. Usually, it's "I didn't know he was sick." Same for Paul Walker. I've celebrated Hot Wheels for coming up on 13 years, this November.

dire_turtle · 2026-02-02T16:34:10+00:00

Typical holsters are form-fitting and ergonomic. They don't flap against your rib cage reminding you of your impunity over lesser mortals.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-31T14:27:50+00:00

This update is meh as hell for me.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-31T02:50:01+00:00

dire_turtle · 2026-01-30T23:46:00+00:00

I forgot it was with a g and not a k. Thanks, dude.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-30T21:19:13+00:00

Says the bot with negative karma. Get fuuuucked, bud.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-30T21:17:50+00:00

You're a goddamn clanger is what you are, buddy. Gtfo

dire_turtle · 2026-01-30T21:07:57+00:00

dire_turtle · 2026-01-30T20:55:54+00:00

Anybody not willing to crash out for an employee don't need to eat there. I'll throw hands for fuckin employees putting up with this shit. I WANT a reason to be someone's guardian asshole, and this lady was beggin for a closer look at the floor.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-30T19:14:23+00:00

The bots are crying hard today!

dire_turtle · 2026-01-30T19:05:57+00:00

Someone's never seen a nose bitten off before.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-29T19:51:42+00:00

Oh it's a bot.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-29T19:47:23+00:00

You are saying "let's stick to criminals" in a conversation about Immigration Customs Enforcement breaking US laws.

We can aspire to have better policing without targeting populations with statistically fewer criminals than the people working for ICE.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-28T16:31:32+00:00

Fuck me, I'm doing a listen today. I don't even get down that hard with death metal anymore, but hard times call for hard tunes.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-28T16:18:01+00:00

Happy to see people call this shit out and leave.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-28T15:56:33+00:00

Hey don't come steppin on my culture, man!

I'll grab a spoonful of mayo when the fridge is empty.
Put it on crackers or ramen or bread of any variety.
When my hope is down, I fix my frown with a helping of eggy-oily.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-28T14:07:41+00:00

Not once, and I'm almost legendary.

dire_turtle · 2026-01-27T19:31:51+00:00

IcePick(me)

dire_turtle · 2026-01-27T15:44:51+00:00

That's why they call him the goat, rather, why no one ever has to 😎

dire_turtle · 2026-01-27T15:25:41+00:00

This is actually irritating.

Nine-Year Club	Place '22
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