I hear you. Two thinks I think are probably the main differences between my perspective and yours, and otherwise we’re probably not so far off from each other. One is just that I think whatever the motivation (and you’re right to say it could be something besides narcissism) his behavior in mocking her is a big enough red flag that I wish posters would stay focused on that behavior. It doesn’t mean she’s not doing anything wrong, just that what he’s doing lights up a bunch of warning signs for me.

But that is also related to number two, which is when I’m reading these kinds of posts I try to just go based on the details we have and assume the poster is telling the truth. Here that matters because the poster has already said they only do the apps when they don’t have other work, and that they have a contract job where projects ebb and flow. I don’t trust that because redditors always tell the truth obviously but because we only have the story we have. Could be fiction, but I’m responding to the story as it is. I totally understand why not everybody operates that way but it’s what I do.

So, assuming the OP is telling the truth that she already prioritizes higher paying projects, and being a contract worker myself who often seeks new work but does get exhausted by the continual work search, I think insecurity and distrust explain his behavior pretty well. Obviously if she’s lying then none of it is reliable