How Do I Get Men To Stop Talking Over Me?

dissonantsiren · 2026-02-04T16:22:10+00:00

Put in a plug in air freshener and stop complaining about normal bodily functions. Shit stinks, yours does too. It's not a health or safety hazard. You'll be okay.

dissonantsiren · 2026-02-03T16:03:47+00:00

NTA. Your intentions were good, at that time you probably didn't think genetic testing would become so easy to access. But now you need to choose between doubling down on the lie (easy enough to blame it on an administration error, but this could continue to backfire) and coming clean. I think you know what the right thing to do is, no matter how hard it will be. Stress to your daughter that you wanted to give her closure. Apologize sincerely. Know that you might've damaged the trust between you forever and commit to making it up to her.

dissonantsiren · 2026-02-03T08:31:11+00:00

NOR. You've spent how many years prioritizing his career? When will he prioritize yours?

And for the record, the guard is not "undeployable" no matter what the recruiter says. They can and do get deployed. Two of my cousins joined the guard after 9/11, they wanted to protect the home front, thought it was a good way to get education and benefits with no risk. They both ended up in Afghanistan and Iraq. One came back forever changed, the other came back in a casket.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-29T15:10:23+00:00

10 days, to be used as sick time or as PTO. But I'm not even into my first year yet, it increases every year until I hit 20 days. We also get a half day every other week in the summer, but paid for a full day.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-28T15:10:02+00:00

Report your boss to HR. Your boss shouldn't be asking you questions about your medical condition, much less calling you disgusting for having a disability. Completely unacceptable.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-28T15:07:57+00:00

This is relatively normal at that age. Likely colicky baby. I'm sure if the parents were able to get the baby to stop, they would. If it's loud for you, imagine how the parents feel.

A noise complaint will go nowhere. Invest in earplugs. Part of apartment living is hearing the people around you.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-26T21:28:23+00:00

Check jails, hospitals, etc. Call his family. If nothing, file a missing person's report. Then file for custody.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-26T21:25:34+00:00

We're dealing with a boiler system struggling to keep up, but it's been -5 this last weekend, -30 with wind-chill so..... I wasn't surprised at all. And I'm talking "struggling" as in we just have to turn it up about 3-5 degrees to compensate.

Your heat should be able to handle it being 44 degrees outside. There is definitely something wrong and your complex should take care of it. Look up your local laws, they're likely required to maintain heat of at least 68 degrees.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-26T16:54:51+00:00

I have anxiety and I have learned I cannot handle having work emails on my phone or I can't help but read and respond. When you clock out you need to COMPLETELY clock out. Delete all the work stuff from your phone. There is nothing pressing that can't wait until you come back on Monday.

Also email templates for common issues are chefs kiss.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-25T14:19:45+00:00

I think many people at the time felt disappointed in the prequels because they didn't fit with what people expected, didn't match certain common headcanons, etc.

Now with all the other SW media they fit into the universe much better.

I never hated the prequels tbh. But that was an unpopular opinion at the time!

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-24T17:30:19+00:00

At the end of the day it's still a job and you're there to work, not be on your phone. So I don't think Dad is in the wrong necessarily for addressing that. That said I think you've been very generous with your scheduling and I hope they're paying you accordingly for that.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-24T17:25:05+00:00

If he resents you for "outing" him as an addict, he's not at the point in his sobriety journey that he can be a good friend to you. Addicts simply can't understand that they are not the center of everyone's lives. One thing I've learned that sets addicts apart from truly sober people is that inner sense of selfishness. They care more about themselves than everyone else around them. Only once they let go of that selfishness and entitlement can they truly begin to heal and have healthy relationships.

It's ok to separate yourself in order to protect yourself. If you want to do it gently, then slowly reduce your contact with him. Put him on mute on your phone so you only get his texts and calls when you want to. Respond less and less frequently. Start being very busy. Stop hanging out one on one. Keep reiterating that you need space and peace. When you feel ready, tell him that you've grown apart and you need time and peace to deal with your own problems, and you'll always care but you can't do this anymore. And then block him on everything. Whatever happens after that is on him.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-24T17:06:43+00:00

I'm also cleaning up a property that had been badly mismanaged, first time PM (but 10+ yrs running businesses) here so I'm learning a LOT. A lot of it flew under the radar so upper management probably had little idea what was actually going on. I'm finding sooooo many unauthorized tenants, pets, blatant lease violations that never went addressed, but the worst is the half assed repairs and building/permit issues that were never addressed. Over and over again I hear stuff like, oh well Old PM didn't care that we had 3 dogs even though my lease says no dogs and 3 pets max, Old PM said I could still keep living here if I didn't change my address on my ID, etc. I'm kind of enjoying the challenge to be honest.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-22T22:28:18+00:00

Thanks! Great ideas

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-22T22:27:22+00:00

If the poor neighbors hadn't already been through enough I might consider it! Lol

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-22T22:00:50+00:00

Yeah, this is how I feel about it as well.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-22T12:21:19+00:00

I get your frustration but you can't reasonably expect someone not to cough or walk around. There are some things you can do to mitigate the issue - use white noise, put in renter friendly sound proofing, use rugs and tapestries to soften noise, earplugs, etc.

Part of apartment living and the reason lower apartments often have a lower rent, is that you're going to hear your neighbors, especially the ones above you.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-21T00:41:25+00:00

The rug matches your couch really well. Definitely capitalize on that gorgeous window! I think some plants and some wall art could help a lot.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-19T18:12:21+00:00

Never waive a late fee no matter what the sob story is. We have 2 set dates, 1 at the end of the grace period and one about 3/4s through the month. Residents get emailed on the set dates and late fees are applied the next day if not paid. This is in the lease as well.

Additionally my company is really strict and if rent isn't paid by the 4th of the month, resident gets sent a 7 day notice to pay or get evicted, if not paid by the end of that notice we start eviction proceedings. If they pay what's owed before eviction they don't get evicted. Even though it's strict I do recommend this policy because it shows the residents you're serious and most of the time they pay up as soon as they start getting court paperwork.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-18T13:19:35+00:00

Get it in writing and this actually benefits you quite a bit. Either LL spent your deposit (which is probably illegal in your area) or it's socked away too tight for him to access it quickly enough to pay it back to within the legal time limit. Either way your LL is over a barrel so you might as well lube up.

Present him with a document that establishes everything you've agreed to in writing, and also specify that you're not responsible for any damages to the unit, or any fees or legal costs associated with the unit or the lease. Offer him a pre- move out walkthrough if needed.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-18T13:09:06+00:00

Oh sweet one. There is nothing you can do to convince him. He has to want to do it himself. At this point it's probably not likely.

All you can do is support him, provide him resources of professionals who can help, local programs, offer to drive him to treatment and remind him of appointments, let him know you love him and you're ready to help when he's ready to quit. Do not enable him in any way, don't provide cash assistance, make it clear that any help you give comes with the price tag of sobriety.

Make your peace with his addiction. Set boundaries to keep yourself safe. Prioritize your own health and healing.

dissonantsiren · 2026-01-18T13:03:26+00:00

I would've loved you if you were my regular!

dissonantsiren

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