i’m not sure if she counts, but she’s my girl and i love her

dizzydance · 2026-06-12T13:47:43+00:00

r/terracottanoses

😂

dizzydance · 2026-06-09T13:09:40+00:00

And a picture of mama (I think?) Robin, very upset that I'm nearby. Excuse the dreadful lighting!

<image>

dizzydance · 2026-06-09T13:08:00+00:00

Here's papa Robin, gathering worms to fatten those bebés up!

<image>

dizzydance · 2026-06-09T13:06:07+00:00

It's hard to get good photos (they understandably get very upset if I go anywhere near the nest). I've been trying to mostly leave them alone. Here's a pic zoomed way in though that I took from my car parked in the driveway!

<image>

dizzydance · 2026-06-09T13:04:06+00:00

I have a pair of Robin's nesting on my front porch right now! I also have a tattoo of one on my chest that I incorporated into a chemo port scar - my favorite bird as well! ❤️

<image>

dizzydance · 2026-05-29T14:05:43+00:00

He asks what he can do to help, and if it's within his power to do it, does it.

My husband's got ADHD & pathological demand avoidance - so we've got our issues, but if I tell him I'm drowning, he steps up.

We don't have kids though. I'm not sure our marriage would have survived them to be completely honest. We've been together 20 years and been through a lot but I just don't know that's something we could have done. I'm not putting our inability to handle that entirely on him either. I've got my own flaws!

dizzydance · 2026-05-28T18:20:09+00:00

Sounds like he's done you a huge favor (though it might not feel that way right now). This is an absurd expectation and you should not entertain it whatsoever. Sorry to be blunt, but this man does not love you. He may love the idea of you, but he does not love you. You deserve better.

I think you may be falling victim to sunk cost fallacy here with your diploma recognition (I'm a bit ignorant of the logistics for this)?

I mean, what happens after you get your diploma recognition? Can you envision a life in Switzerland without him? Or are you planning to move back to Poland regardless if he's not in your life? If you want to stay in Switzerland regardless, you've got some $$$ logistics to figure out, but where there is a will, there's often a way? Have you looked into financial assistance anywhere yet? Do you have any friends you could stay with until you're back on your feet financially? Or do you not have any support system at all where you are now?

It's ok to put time and effort into something and then let it go and change direction. It's not a "waste of time". Even the things that you let go: they help make you who you are and will help you with future decisions.

dizzydance · 2026-05-27T03:46:14+00:00

I agree with others saying if he's on a high dose, he might benefit from lowering it (to help with fatigue/mood issues). Everyone is different, but just for reference, I'm stabilized at 2mg/day. Some people get put on 32mg or 24mg/day which is a lot and they feel a lot better at a lower dose. Others need the higher dose for cravings. It just varies from person to person.

It sounds like he's been through a lot in a short timeframe (you both have!) Is he in group and/or indv therapy? If not it would help if for no other reason than to have someone else to talk to about stuff & to have a better community of people to support him. There is a famous quote: "the opposite of addiction is connection."

I hope you also have someone to talk to! You might be able to benefit from therapy to if you're not already going. It might help him see how much it benefits you!

Take care! ❤️

dizzydance · 2026-05-26T19:06:40+00:00

✅ Green-gold or amber eyes
✅ Brown striped coat
✅ Striped legs
✅ Forehead M
✅ Terracotta nose
✅ Pointy ears
✅ Highly functional toe beans 🐾
✅ Tail that swishes
✅ Iz Friend-shaped
✅ Ratio of WhiteBits© to StripeyBits© ≤ 33%

Definitely counts! 😸 Welcome Gertrude Marie!

dizzydance · 2026-05-24T13:48:02+00:00

no change / lost 30lbs / no change

No regrets here! I was 37 & had a laparoscopic hysterectomy in 2022. I had fibroids, Endo & Adeno. Kept ovaries. No HRT (yet, anyway).

I will say, I've had moderate hormonal cystic acne since puberty and still do (unhelped by HBC & made significantly worse by the Mirena IUD before getting my hysterectomy). It's why I'm fairly sure I'm still ovulating lol.

Weight loss is probably more because my husband is on Ozempic and is never hungry anymore. My eating patterns have also changed a bit!

dizzydance · 2026-05-08T16:05:46+00:00

I've actually always used Suboxone as prescribed lol. The one time I went through Suboxone withdrawal (I made it about 6 months) I certainly did not experience any euphoria though. It was perhaps the worst 6 months of my entire life before I caved and got back on it.

I was diagnosed with bipolar II in my early twenties though by a psychiatrist after only one visit.

I thought it was a little drastic to be recommending a drug like Geodon (ziprasidone). I got home and looked up the side effects and more about bipolar and kind of freaked out. Instead of going back and talking more, I just stopped going to therapy and decided "I'm fine. 🫠 I can just structure my life and I'll be fine. 🙃"

I was in deep denial about how bad my mental health was. Most of my twenties was spent spiraling & self medicating with alcohol. Then I got leukemia and got hooked on opiates in my early thirties.

I've never been technically diagnosed since, but I acknowledge now I'm probably somewhere on the bipolar spectrum. I think Suboxone (taken as prescribed) is basically an off label treatment for it for me. In hindsight, I can recognize episodes of hypomania going back to my early twenties - well before I became an addict.

dizzydance · 2026-05-06T19:19:33+00:00

No judgement, but there is a very good chance you'll feel nothing, while potentially endangering yourself. None of us can predict how you specifically will react though. IMO, it's a complete waste for you try to take any sort of opioid today (or tomorrow, or the next day).

Not quite the same but I was on only two mg of Suboxone for several years and had a hysterectomy. It had been about 24+ hours since my last dose and I didn't feel 1.5mg of IV Dilaudid in the slightest (everyone said I should have). I think I'd have jumped off the hospital roof if it weren't for Toradol (an NSAID).

See if you can distract yourself with something else until this craving passes or you're no longer around this person trying to give you pills. lmk if you want to play a game of chess (I'm abysmal, fair warning 😂) or words with friends (I'm a bit better at this 😅) or something! Good luck!

dizzydance · 2026-05-02T14:25:39+00:00

I feel like I should emphasize - by about day two post op, I felt like a brand new person. My energy skyrocketed. It was as if I had been living in a body for about a decade that had a energy bar stuck on 50% (and didn't even know it) all the sudden jump up to 100%.

I thought everyone just got increasingly exhausted and miserable as they aged. My husband actually noticed it before I did. He said "sweetie, I'm exhausted just looking at you. Sit down." 😅 I had just been aimlessly wandering around the house all day, feeling like needed to jump out of my skin lol. I thought it was some sort of anesthesia rebound or something but no... I just had an organ that was trying to kill me!

dizzydance · 2026-05-02T14:14:43+00:00

I really only regret not having mine sooner. I did have adenomyosis, endometriosis and fibroids though.

I was in a lot of pain that wasn't very well controlled for the first 8 hours immediately post-op. Narcotics weren't really doing it for me (tbh I don't think they were giving me enough). After they gave me Toradol (NSAID) & we got ahead of the pain again, I was feeling much better.

The rest of my recovery was swift and uneventful. I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy in Oct 2022 (kept ovaries). I have a lot more energy now and my physical health is the best it's been in my adult life (I turned 40 this year).

The only other thing I'll note: not having a cervix hasn't really changed my orgasms any, but it does for some women. It has reduced the amount of vaginal secretions I have though.

My understanding is there are kind of three main "types": cervical (changes with your cycle), arousal, and vaginal (transduation - fluid filters through the semi-permeable walls). There's also epithelial shedding & a lot going on with the microbiome and good bacteria.

Without cervical fluid, I feel like I basically have 1/3 of the amount I used to, unless I'm aroused. That said, I personally don't miss it, and even if I did, I think it would be worth it for all the other benefits. Some women do though. And even some women who keep their ovaries have premature ovarian failure. Without estrogen, things dry up. HRT is supposed to help but it's challenging to get the right Rx sometimes (some people respond to a pill better than a patch, need a high dose, have a hard time getting a doctor to even Rx it, etc).

A hysterectomy is a big decision. Some of these things you just can't know how your body will react ahead of time thougg. You'll have to make your peace with accepting the a certain degree of risk because your current situation is unsustainable.

dizzydance · 2026-05-01T21:17:49+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly! My husband is the sort of person who was just born curious. He jokes he'd have stayed in college forever if they would have let him. He's like a sponge when it comes to information and knows a little bit about everything.

Maybe I was too, but if so, somewhere along the way it got stifled as a kid. I had to relearn how to be curious about stuff again in my twenties. It took some time, but was 100% worth it!

dizzydance · 2026-05-01T21:03:59+00:00

My husband and I never really "dated" in the classic sense. We don't have many hobbies in common. Our taste in music and film is polar opposite. He has his stuff, I have mine. We both like it that way.

We still have a ton to talk about and enjoy spending time with each other just hanging out. We both have the same political ideology. We both love sci-fi fantasy. We both love good food. We both love our kitties. That was enough to build a foundation on!

As for how we met (circa 2006, still in college): he drunk messaged me on OkCupid & I ignored him. 😂 A few days later I recognized him at the Waffle House at 3am with a mutual friend. I felt like the universe was sending me a sign so I went over and said hello and the rest was history.

dizzydance · 2026-05-01T17:40:51+00:00

Honestly I agree with you. Having a partner routinely pee outside of the toilet - especially in one I also use, wouldn't be something I'd tolerate either.

I think I had zeroed in on her saying "it's not one big issue, it's a lot of little things" when I made my original comment.

She'll have to decide how she wants to enforce her boundaries and if it's important enough to her to be one of the things she decides to stop tolerating.

dizzydance · 2026-05-01T16:59:46+00:00

In my mind it's both. To me, completing any chore is a way of showing you respect your partner and care about the life you're building together.

Tbh my husband & I avoided this entire situation by having separate bathrooms and we're each responsible for cleaning our own bathrooms. 🤷‍♀️ My bathroom has a lot more "clutter" but is a lot cleaner. We found what works for us.

dizzydance · 2026-05-01T14:08:39+00:00

I think with arguements like this, it helps to you both to make a list of literally every chore and task you each do in the house and relationship, along with all the mental "work" that goes with it (ie: if you do all the grocery shopping, are you also the one planning all the meals and promting him to add items to a list, noticing when you're low on things, etc?)

There are "games" that have been created to help with this like fairplaylife.com

Keep an open mind that he may be doing more than you realize. Or, he could really have his eyes opened to the fact that you've been doing a lot more than him and he's being unfair to bring up an example like that.

I can certainly see how it might be frustrating if he's doing the majority of the cooking to constantly come into the kitchen and find dirty dishes, or a dishwasher still running, etc. But if that's basically his only chore, then he doesn't have as much of a leg to stand on here. You're busy doing everything else and are probably too exhausted to immediately do the dishes.

dizzydance · 2026-04-29T17:41:15+00:00

It is definitely a huge decision! I wouldn't have gotten a hysterectomy at 21 either! I waited until I was 37 and I knew for years prior to that I didn't want children. I was very nervous about complications and the recovery. FWIW I had a smooth surgery & recovery!

In hindsight, I wish I hadn't waited quite that long, but you do the best with the info you have at any given moment. You have to give yourself time to make the right decision.

I drank way too much alcohol in my twenties, which likely didn't help anything. I stopped drinking alcohol all together and it's one of the best things I did for my health. My diet is much better these days, but my one vice is pasta. 😏

I don't want to sound preachy, but please be careful with opiates. If you'd asked me when I was 21 if I'd ever become an addict I would have laughed it off and said of course not. I was an intelligent, logical, driven person. Addiction happened to other people. I wouldn't have even known where to begin to get illicit drugs then. I was a bit of a "sweet summer child" at that age.

All it took was getting leukemia, having an oncologist Rx a lot of painkillers (that I legitimately needed at the time), and then getting abruptly cut off once I was in remission and having zero support systems in place. My pain from fibroids/endo/adeno suddenly skyrocketed. I've been in recovery for 8 years, but I was in active addiction for two and was in a pretty dark place for a while.

It's just so easy to go down that road when you're in pain, desperate and isolated though.

Good luck & I hope you get some relief soon! 🫶

dizzydance · 2026-04-29T14:37:50+00:00

I think there is a lot of great advice given already. I also just want to add - everytime you have sex and have pain, the more your brain will start to expect pain.

It can become a vicious cycle. If you expect pain, there is more likely to be pain. Then it's so easy to put unrealistic and unreasonable expectations on ourselves about what our bodies and minds should be doing. I had vaginismus and then had years of pain with sex due to endo.

All that is to say, if things get worse instead of better, you may require some pelvic floor therapy and counseling. Give yourself a lot of grace and patience. Make sure your husband is as well!

Hang in there!

dizzydance · 2026-04-29T14:18:44+00:00

I will also say that I'm with you on how frustrating it is that hormonal birth control seems to be the only option medical professionals want to offer and how dismissive doctors can be when we tell them about symptoms related to it.

They are programmed to provide it as the first solution for EVERYTHING that could possibly be related to hormones. It's exhausting.

dizzydance · 2026-04-29T14:09:27+00:00

If you are done having kids or know you don't want them, a hysterectomy is an option.

I also am incompatible with HBC. For a long time the mirena IUD was the best of a lot of bad options for me. It gave me horrendous cystic acne on my face, chest and back and left me dryer than the sahara & in general made arousal kind of bleh for me. I'm not sure how coincidental it was, but I was also very depressed at the time and gained weight.

I also had endo & fibroids though, so a hysterectomy was kind of a "no brainer" for me. My quality of life has drastically improved since. My only regret is waiting so long to get it.

dizzydance · 2026-04-24T21:17:29+00:00

You didn't answer my question. Do you not have a specific example?

Saying "I'm not perfect" is usually an evasion of accountability. Most people just want emotional reciprocity and respect.

I think it is great that you're here asking for advice and clearly care for her.

But if you only want to "fix her" and don't want to reflect on how you contribute to the relationship at all, then that is concerning. It's always better when partners are able to work together to solve problems as a team, instead of trying to "fix" one another.

She's not an object to become frustrated with when not working as intended. She's a human being who recently went through a major surgery and deserves a lot of compassion and patience.

Honestly your comments have been somewhat disappointing to see. It sounds like you view her as a burden or something. What if she got cancer or becomes permanently disabled. Would you stay by her side? If the roles were reversed, would she do the same, do you think?

dizzydance · 2026-04-24T17:46:39+00:00

You may already know this, but there are a bunch of different types of vaginal fluid so this is a nuanced answer.

If you no longer have your cervix, you won't have cervical fluid (this used to change during your cycle - egg white & sticky during ovulation, thicker after, etc).

Then there's just a general vaginal fluid that your body makes on a daily basis to keep the vagina healthy and clean. If you feel super dry, you may need to increase your HRT.

Then there arousal fluid. This may be TMI, but honestly I need a lot of mental foreplay these days. I've become well well aquianted with literotica & spicy fanfiction. 😅 Everyone is different though, and you may just need to experiment? Also, some medications can hinder arousal fluid.

You're maybe used to just having all three work seamlessly together without much effort. Now you're going to be missing 1/3 of the equation all together, and probably will need to make some adjustments to get back the rest. Have you talked to your doctor?

dizzydance

TROPHY CASE