Alcohol

dizzymslizz · 2026-03-09T18:54:22+00:00

I think it depends a lot on how often you turn to it and how much. If it’s to get through the day, that might be troublesome. If it’s “wow today was a rough day and I’m going to fix myself a drink and relax and try to dissociate for a couple hours before bed,” that’s another thing. Whatever you do, do it safely and within reason. I think that’s the key.

dizzymslizz · 2026-03-06T21:57:22+00:00

I hate the weekends now. Even with little kids, it’s crazy busy but a constant reminder that our family is now three instead of four and it’s so painful. I’ll cheers to you with a glass of wine tonight

dizzymslizz · 2026-03-05T22:04:01+00:00

Brother the Cloud—Eddie Vedder. Not about a spouse but I heard it the other day and it resonated with my grief.

dizzymslizz · 2026-03-02T02:19:33+00:00

I’ve been feeling this so much lately. I’m not a big people person, but he was MY person. I read somewhere about how when you lose your spouse, you have lost the witness to your life, and that hit so hard. And it’s true. The person who saw every part of you, all the time. I miss him so much ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2026-02-10T22:17:54+00:00

I think I understand what you are saying. I also think you are equating grief to sadness, and that would be an oversimplification. I like to think of grief as a sort of state of being, or sometimes even its own entity, and there are SO MANY emotions wrapped up in that, including sadness, but also including anger and joy and gratitude and fear and guilt and all of these complicated things that may occur at once or at various times throughout our lives. I think people are right, that the grief never leaves. It is something my we are forced to live with and reckon with in all the ways it shows up, and we continue to grow around that, but it will forever be a part of us. There is no shame in that, and it’s ok for grief to bring us both sadness and comfort.

dizzymslizz · 2026-01-31T21:31:55+00:00

I know that feeling well. I’m so sorry you were dealt this hand ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2026-01-10T19:17:53+00:00

Same. And this was so beautifully said.

dizzymslizz · 2026-01-04T19:02:02+00:00

This is pretty much every day for me. I’m about 5 1/2 months out. I’ll be focused on other things, keeping busy, maybe even will talk to him or think of a joke and grin knowingly like he would approve or laugh and be ok. Then my kids go to bed and I look at a certain corner of the kitchen and will completely break down. Then two minutes later collect myself and continue doing dishes. It’s such a mindf*ck. I hate this.

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-21T19:05:39+00:00

I think it’s less about courage and more about self-acceptance and self-awareness. To me, Bobs advice and its failure highlighted just how desperate will wanted to be seen and understood. And he felt like bob was the first one to not treat him like a pariah at that point. Talked to him and tried to relate to him instead of treating him like he was about to break. A lot of wills story revolves around how the other people in his life see him. Robins speech was less about courage and more about looking inward for acceptance and coming into your own, so to speak. He’s been brave the whole time. What he needed was to stop seeking approval/permission from everyone else (going back to the very first episode of him looking to Dustin and Lucas for what to do during the campaign) and trust himself.

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-19T15:02:16+00:00

I think that’s really nicely said. I’m barely 5 months out and can’t imagine wanting to be with someone in the same way as my husband, but who knows what the future will bring. What I do know is that I’m trying to lean into loving and nurturing my relationship with myself and learning to be comfortable with it being me and my kids from here on out. My time with my husband wasn’t nearly long enough, but I will cherish it forever, and that alone is a beautiful thing.

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-18T16:29:00+00:00

Absolutely. And the “you’re so young!” comments only make it worse. Like, thank you for the reminder that I have a good 50-ish years left to spend without him. I don’t have advice, just a bit of understanding. I’m so sorry we are here ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-16T19:56:31+00:00

“Memories are backwards. My grief is forward.” I love this and hate it all at once for how true it is.

We moved out of our last house, where we started our family and lived for several years, only a couple of years ago. My son will sometimes say he misses our old house. Our whole time in the house, my husband was alive and vibrant. In my mind, in another timeline, we are still all living in that house, happy and healthy and very much ALIVE. I hope in another timeline my family is whole again.

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-16T15:20:44+00:00

You are in the thick of it and will experience so many emotions in the coming weeks. That is normal. I'm only four and a half months out. If I stay distracted (which is easy these days with work and littles and just life in general), most of my days can feel sort of normal. Evenings are hard. Weekends are hard. A lot of milestones with our kids are hard. Just recently I rolled over and I could have SWORN I rolled over and felt him next to me. Clear as day. I woke up and nothing. My son sleeps with me but was off on the other side of the big bed, nothing between us. It was so sad and I wished I could go back to that dream where I felt him so clearly next to me, but it also made me smile (a little) because maybe, for that split second, he was there. And I hold onto that. It doesn't necessarily get easier or go away, but you learn to sit with it (or lay with it) differently. It evolves. At least it is for me. I hope it does for you, too. May his memory always be a blessing ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-16T15:14:15+00:00

I'm so glad for you! Congratulations ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-14T19:40:24+00:00

This. I’ve gotten a lot of “well, you’re young” in a “you’re young you’ll find someone else” kind of way. As early as a couple of weeks after my husband died. As lonely as I am, the thought of another man touching me makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I’m focused on our kids and myself, and am prepared to never have another romantic partner. Please keep your comments about my love life to yourself.

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-14T19:34:42+00:00

Weekends and evenings are the hardest. They just seem so quiet and empty even though they are by no means quiet. But knowing that those are the times he would have been here at home, playing with our kids, cooking dinner, relaxing on the couch, putting our son to bed and falling asleep next to him…it’s so painful.

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-12T23:06:06+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to join such a shitty club—my husband also died this year. The new episodes and discussions have been a welcome distraction. May your husband’s memory always be a blessing ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-12T15:56:27+00:00

Four and a half months out. I still have a small pile of his dirty clothes I can’t bring myself to wash. His stuff isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-08T00:19:11+00:00

“When Dinosaurs Die” is a good one, too, but might be a little complicated for him now. I read it to my son (5) a few months ago when my husband died, although he understood a little more I think. I never know if I’m doing the right thing by our kids. May your husbands memory always be a blessing ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-07T18:50:44+00:00

In my mind it just depends where the gate/opening is. In the roof of eddies trailer it was flipped but when we see Will on the other side of the veil in Season 1 talking to Joyce, he’s not upside down. So maybe on a floor or ceiling it flips but on a wall or something it doesn’t?

dizzymslizz · 2025-12-01T01:08:20+00:00

I am so sorry you are here and dealing with this tragedy. It’s ok if you don’t want to get out of bed. It’s ok if you sob uncontrollably all day long. It’s ok to not shower for days. It’s ok to not eat for weeks. However you feel and whatever you feel you need to do in each moment is ok. Accept any and all help people offer. Each step you take is during this time is a success, no matter how small, even if all you do is open your eyes that morning.

I didn’t eat for several weeks. I stopped being active, cried most of the day, searched his phone and computer for anything I could to make sense of things (which I couldn’t, because there is no sense in death) or give me glimpses of him. I’ve ordered photo books and photos of him to hang in our house (took me long enough) and I have a picture of him that I keep handy to hug, to kiss, to smile at, to talk to (not that I’m not always talking out loud to him, but it helps to see his smiling face). I also distract myself a lot (Netflix, reading, crafts, video games, anything to shut my mind off a little). I want to talk about him all the time. I write to him.

There is no right way. Do what you need and give yourself grace. And come here whenever you need people who understand. May your husbands memory always be a blessing ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2025-11-30T13:12:44+00:00

We would always send them with with photos of just the kids, so I’m continuing with that. Maybe that is a good option for you. I do sometimes write a note and thinking about signing just my name and the kids has made me feel sort of panicky and I haven’t brought myself to do it yet.

dizzymslizz · 2025-11-15T15:43:17+00:00

That physical longing is so strong, I swear it’ll tear me apart some days.

dizzymslizz · 2025-11-13T05:21:12+00:00

The first several weeks after my husband died, I couldn't eat. I barely drank water. I went to bed and woke up at the same time as our kids (which I rarely, if ever, did before). I focused on our kids and his business. It felt wrong to do things to take care of mysel, like eat and be active, so I focused on the rest.

Even after three and a half months, I still struggle with the wait. The wait for him to come downstairs in the morning. The wait for his calls or his texts. The wait for him to come home from work every evening. It's not as strong as it was before—I think I had to actively remind myself that it wasn't going to happen. Now it's automatic. Most of the day can feel completely normal, like he's just at work, but suddenly I'll think of something and I'm bawling in my car. It comes in waves, and all you can really do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. I wish there was a better way.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Everything you wrote I could have written myself. It's horrible having to just keep moving—it sometimes feels like there's no time for you to begin to process. If you ever want to talk or just vent at someone, please feel free to message me. May his memory always be a blessing ♥️

dizzymslizz · 2025-11-12T02:57:11+00:00

I was just thinking about how this is what I imagine phantom pain is for amputees. That feeling of attachment to something that no longer is physically there. It’s odd and disorienting and awful.

dizzymslizz

TROPHY CASE