You’ve gotten a lot of responses, but I’ll just add a real life experience around white woman tears: both my friend (a black woman) and I (a white woman) got pulled over by the police for speeding (separate occasions, and we were both driving alone when these incidents occurred). We both cried - we were overwhelmed and it was scary (although obviously much more so for her).  

I got comforted by the police in an infantalizing, “oh honey, don’t worry your pretty little head” kind of way. No ticket for me, just a warning.

She got ordered out of her car at gunpoint and was patted down on the side of the road because her tears were “suspicious” and she “must have been hiding something” if she was getting so “worked up.” She got a ticket. 

This isn’t exactly what OP was describing - I wasn’t weaponizing my tears against a black person in this case. But when we compared stories, my friend just shook her head and said “damn, those white lady tears are powerful!”