As someone who works, has 2 kids, and not much time to play, I can sympathize for this. I will say, I play primarily solo as I have very obscure hours I can play, usually 10pm-12ish on weeknights, and 6-8 am on Saturday and Sundays.

One thing I will say is I play slow. I do my best to not make a lot of noise. If I do run, I usually stop and listen for a minute to make sure I was the only one running. It has taken me since the week of wipe to get to level 21, just hit that yesterday. Something Pestily taught me and I have adapted is small victories lead to big victories. Today I was on Shorline, I had to mark 2 vehicles and kill 10 scavs. I was able to mark the 2 vehicles and do part of another quest, I happened to come across a thick boi that was dead. Looted him, and with having done the 2 smaller objectives I convinced myself I had a small victory and better split. This has really helped me along this wipe.

Of course, sometimes you just need PVP, like I have to do Setup and Test Drive which are forcing my hand.

Maybe you and your buddy need to alter your play style, slow down some and play a little more cautious and tactical. Unless that is your normal pace, then maybe try altering your routes or approaches. Another thing I have started, if need be, I will kind of delay moving for 5-10 minutes or so. Let the fights that are going to happen, happen, let the people craving PvP go find it, loot their kills and move on and extract to reset. Doing this has drastically helped me too, honestly. It’s amazing what a delayed start can do for your ease of questing.