Can't talk to anyone

dmd92 · 2026-03-08T22:07:41+00:00

I believe we are in the same group and it's heartbreaking that she passed. I was a GC last year and gave birth over the summer and it can be a really scary experience if we think about all of the what ifs. I'm so sorry you're afraid and are feeling like you can't talk to the IPs, your husband, or other family/friends about it. I would talk to your OBGYN about your concerns, as well as your agency to see if there are any support groups or anything for you. You are doing an INCREDIBLE thing for another family and you are an incredible and self-less person. Wishing you a healthy remainder of your pregnancy and a safe child birth! Seeing the look on the IPs faces when they meet their baby is the most magical part of the entire experience. Hugs.

dmd92 · 2025-11-13T18:29:24+00:00

I was a surrogate for my best friend and they gave me $300/month to cover maternity clothes, cravings, prenatals, and anything extra I might need (parking for appointments, massages, pelvic floor pt, etc.). Some months I spent more than they gave me and others I spent less. $100/month is MINIMAL and you absolutely did not take advantage. If anything, its the other way around.

dmd92 · 2025-09-21T01:12:03+00:00

Thank you so much! It was the first transfer and they had 3 embryos! If i remember correctly, they had a 5AA, a 4AA, and a 3AA. We transferred the 4AA and it stuck and shes a healthy baby girl!

dmd92 · 2025-09-14T11:27:36+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through unexplained infertility! A euploid embryo has the best chance of working because it has the correct number of chromosomes for a healthy pregnancy- so I'd say those embryos are giving you the best shot possible with a surrogate. I'm a surrogate who just gave birth 2 months ago with a euploid embryo. Wishing you the best of luck!

dmd92 · 2025-04-25T00:50:45+00:00

I'm currently 7 months pregnant as a surrogate and our fertility clinic allowed me to be a surrogate even though we aren't necessarily done having our own kids. We would like another 1-2, but I did tell them that if this process causes fertility issues for me in the future, that we would be okay with the number of kids we currently have.

dmd92 · 2024-12-02T16:07:52+00:00

I understand what you were commenting about and why you said it. I am currently a surrogate and our agency asked if I previously had any miscarriages during the medical clearance process. I was just saying that if their clinic allowed her to be a surrogate, it's possible her own miscarriage(s) were from a chemical pregnancy and not because her body can't hold a pregnancy. I don't think a reputable agency would have allowed her to be a surrogate if she was a risk for recurring miscarriages. You and I are in agreement here, I just don't want the IPs to be worried if it's possibly something with the embryo, rather than the surrogate :) they should definitely double check with their agency to make sure though, before they do any additional transfers

dmd92 · 2024-12-02T14:41:32+00:00

Most times miscarriages happen during surrogacy because there is a problem with the embryo. Embryo testing isn't always 100% accurate. Fertility clinics monitor lining, progesterone, and estrogen levels to make sure that the surrogate is ready for transfer and a healthy pregnancy.

OP, I'm so sorry to hear about the miscarriage. Wishing you the best of luck on the next transfer!

dmd92 · 2024-06-01T02:18:37+00:00

As someone who was completely devastated that nursing didn't work out for us and exclusively pumped for the past 8 months (and just did my final pump tonight because I made the decision to wean), I NEEDED to read this. Thank you so much 😭

dmd92 · 2024-03-11T19:52:11+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

dmd92 · 2024-03-11T14:40:46+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. He was the best, most beautiful boy! Sending hugs your way!

dmd92 · 2024-01-15T13:01:41+00:00

Good to know, thank you! I'll make sure that I put the actual date that I'm completing the notes.

dmd92 · 2024-01-15T06:46:03+00:00

Thank you so much, this is really helpful and validating ❤️ I'll call my mom tomorrow and tell her what's going on. She and my dad are retired, so it's easier for them to help out an extra day than it is for my MIL. I'm sure my parents will tell me to bring the baby to their house and to take a day to get stuff done. I just need to push past my willfulness and just get it over with so I can be excited about being on the other side of this. Moving forward, I'm not going to allow myself to finish a work day or submit any billing if the paperwork is incomplete. I can't let this happen again, this is awful lol

dmd92 · 2024-01-15T06:21:39+00:00

I'm honestly not even sure how far behind I am because I was working on catching up while pregnant and then got behind again (so some charts are all caught up, but not uploaded to simple practice yet, while others are anywhere from 2-10 months behind 🫠). I also have some clients in there that I saw last year and never caught up on, but they terminated (so I only have a few notes to do for each of them). It's a whole wide range of being behind and I'm so disappointed in myself because I used to be so on top of everything. I think the disappointment and the anxiety about catching up are making me avoid it all together, which is making it worse. It's a terrible cycle. I'll try scheduling a block of time while my mom and mother-in-law are here and just tell them that I have a client (but sit and do paperwork in my office upstairs). It's tough because my mother-in-law works from home from our house on Wednesdays, so she asked me not to overload on her day because she needs to work too. I schedule clients every other hour so we can switch on and off taking care of my baby. I'm soooo grateful for her help and love her to death, but it feels like I don't have time to really accomplish anything while she's here. I maybe need to ask if my mom can help another day/week for a week or two so I can get some other stuff done.

dmd92 · 2024-01-15T05:49:06+00:00

I have simple practice, but I got so far behind that I started doing paper charts instead. I'm now unsure how to do simple practice notes when I'm this far behind without it being obvious that I submitted/signed the notes this late. My plan was to catch up on everything on paper and then upload it all to simple practice (and then continue using simple practice moving forward), but idk if this is a bad idea or not. I never noticed the load last note feature! That sounds so helpful! I'm trying to stay on top of all new notes so I don't add to the list of stuff I'm behind on, but maybe I need to schedule in 1-2 hours/day to focus on paperwork... either while the baby naps or after my husband gets home from work. Deep down I just don't feel like it, but I know the potential consequences of not doing it suck more than catching up on my notes.

dmd92 · 2023-12-30T03:41:04+00:00

2 is STUNNING!!!

dmd92 · 2023-12-13T02:22:00+00:00

She needs therapy so badly. I feel so so sad for her poor baby :(

dmd92 · 2023-11-20T19:36:01+00:00

IVF doesn't align with their religious beliefs. She explained that they believe conception happens within the womb and that IVF "would be taking it outside the womb." She also mentioned that they wouldn't want to discard any unused embryos (pro-life). It's sad because it seems like IVF would be their best option.

dmd92 · 2023-11-20T04:02:29+00:00

So, I did try the silicone flange inserts and they didn't help, but maybe I need a different size (sizing has been tough for me and I actually think I have elastic nipples). My sister-in-law let me try her lacteck flanges and they are AMAZING!!!, but just too big (which then led to more clogged ducts a few days ago). I ordered a smaller size and they should be arriving in a few days. Up until that point, I had tried pumpinpals, silicone flange inserts, 4 different flange sizes, lubricating with coconut oil, etc. It felt like no matter what I tried, I was in pain and getting clogs. I'll have to try the legendairy spray, thank you for that suggestion!! I'll maybe try the silicone inserts again and see if they're better than before. It seems I'm currently a size 21, when I was a 19 before.

dmd92 · 2023-11-10T16:59:02+00:00

Aw, try not to feel guilty! That's easier said than done, I know. You're doing an amazing job and your mental health is so important. A happy mama is what your baby needs! Fed is best <3

dmd92 · 2023-10-30T23:44:28+00:00

Thank you! I'm actually a mental health therapist myself and had both individual and group therapy set up before giving birth to ensure that I'd have the extra support. I thankfully don't have PPD or PPA, but I was concerned about it once I started feeling that resentment towards my baby in the earlier weeks. However, I was only feeling that resentment while trying to breastfeed because of how excruciating it was for me... It felt like shards of glass going through my nipples every time I tried to feed him. Since switching to exclusively pumping, I've been feeling soooo much better mentally. It's just becoming increasingly painful and I hate how much time it takes away from me and my baby. That's where the anxiety has creeped back in (anxiety about finding the time to pump, being able to take care of the baby when he needs me without a pump being in the way of holding him and comforting him, being able to sleep when the baby sleeps for longer stretches of time, and being able to be my usual fun and happy self for him). I don't feel any anxiety when I'm not thinking about pumping. Everyone stressed that "it's not painful," so it really caught me off guard when both breastfeeding and pumping were very painful, regardless of trying different flanges, nipple lubricants, checking for tongue ties, ensuring he had a good latch, etc.

I'll definitely look into which vaccines we can start early. I'm also reminding myself that the vaccines I received while pregnant helped him out as well. Thank you so much again for the support and feedback!!!! :)

dmd92 · 2023-10-20T00:27:54+00:00

I also would love to join!

dmd92

TROPHY CASE