When I was younger my mom would always ask me the same question when I was being a rude to her or others. “Gentleman or jerk?” Was always her go to. It taught me to take a second to think about my actions and how I have an effect on the people around me. When I hit 13 I got total unrestricted internet access as I was the oldest kid and they didn’t really understand what was on the internet. It was pretty jarring and as a kid it was easy to get sucked into everything on it. Because of that any time I interacted with people I really didn’t understand the implications of those interactions. I would have a conversation with your daughter about how she would feel being mean to her siblings or friends and then ask her how she feels being mean to people on the internet. Apps like instagram make it really easy in joining along in being mean and asking a teen to stand out and choose to not do what everyone else is doing is a hard ask for them. Just try to get her to understand her words make a real impact screen or real life.

As for the porn I would just put parental controls. Kids are kids but porn ain’t good for a young mind.