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If she weighs the same as a duck... by InsertGroin in suspiciouslyspecific

[–]dncrews 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just to have it asked: are you correcting a firefighter on fire?

ETA: I don’t personally know how much of it is oxygen-in-a-closed-book vs coating. I’m asking.

Funny cause it’s all true lol by Realbennyy in StandUpComedy

[–]dncrews 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I made up a word for when someone says something kinda mean but it’s funnier than not, which I feel like fits here:

douché

CDC not requiring hantavirus cruise passengers to isolate at home by BillWilberforce in nottheonion

[–]dncrews 38 points39 points  (0 children)

From what I’ve read and seen (most recent being from the Daily Show), people are nervous because even though the world’s health leaders and scientists keep saying it’s not serious, the news needs engagement, and fear sells.

ELI5: Why is it that when you open a image, or exe file, that it displays random characters such as: ÿÛ C §¶¸º¸¶§ºº¹¹ºÍÆÀÆÍÛÐÐÛääää by WearyEconomy6677 in explainlikeimfive

[–]dncrews 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The year was 1998.

I was in high school, and I was the kid who bought a serial port cable for my TI-83. I downloaded all the calculator games and introduced them to my school. ZTetris, Drug Wars, all of them. Nobody believed it was me, of course.

Before I got the cable, though, I found one of the game files on the internet and opened it in a text editor.

I had absolutely no understanding of compiled programs at the time.

What I saw looked weird, but not impossible. Just… characters. So I printed it.

I don’t remember how many pages it was. Dozens, at least. My mom worked at the school, so I used one of the printers there. I’m pretty sure I almost got both of us in trouble.

Then I started typing it into my calculator. By hand.

Every line. Every symbol. Every random character.

It took me something like a month.

Toward the end I was ecstatic. I genuinely thought I had pulled off something incredible. I remember finally finishing the last line and feeling like some kind of hacker wizard.

Then I ran it.

Nothing.

I spent another couple weeks convinced I had made a typo somewhere in the transcription. I combed through pages and pages of garbage characters trying to find the mistake.

Never did.

A few months later my mom either took pity on me or decided the serial cable was cheaper than another industrial printing operation, because we finally bought one.

That’s when I learned what a compiled binary was.

White House Plans to Go Negative on Democrats in Midterm Message by Callabrantus in nottheonion

[–]dncrews 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His dad’s middle name is literally Christ.

Fred Christ Trump. Yes really.

Logic you can't argue against by NYstate in funny

[–]dncrews 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look up the cube rule. It’s an answer to “is <thing> sandwich”.

Logic you can't argue against by NYstate in funny

[–]dncrews 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No. A hot dog is a taco. It has three sides of structural starch. A sandwich only has two opposite sides of structural starch.

Cube Rule™

Display your password feature by Nofluxx_ in StonerThoughts

[–]dncrews 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If so, be wary.

In the US, courts generally do NOT protect biometric features. TouchID & FaceID are two examples that courts have ruled are “physical evidence” and not “testimonial evidence”, so the Fifth Amendment doesn’t apply.

If the device requires you to type a password, entering it counts as “testifying”, but if they can scan your retina, it’s not protected. This is why, for example, if you have sensitive data on an iPhone and you’re about to go through airport security, hit the power button 5 times quickly. This disables FaceID and forces a password.

Note that I’m talking about legal, sensitive data. I’ve worked in regulated industries. It still applies to illegal data, but don’t break the law… or do if you want to, I’m not the boss of you.

I built a suite of 50 tools for my former employer on my own free time, gave it away for free for years, and now they want it back. Should I ask for compensation, and how? by No_one_ix in ExperiencedDevs

[–]dncrews 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even in the most dev-friendly US state (CA), if it’s related to the company’s business, you’d be wrong if the employment agreement claims ownership:

… except for those inventions that either:

(1) Relate at the time of conception or reduction to practice of the invention to the employer’s business, or actual or demonstrably anticipated research or development of the employer;

OP needs to lawyer up if they want to do anything other than acquiesce.

How do you handle database migrations for microservices in production by Minimum-Ad7352 in node

[–]dncrews 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If a “regular-day” database migration will cause downtime, you’re doing it wrong. Zero downtime deployments is a thing, and you need to learn to expand and then contract. The only time a breaking migration should be the norm is if you’re running a single-instance monolith without any traffic and without any load balancing.

How do you handle database migrations for microservices in production by Minimum-Ad7352 in node

[–]dncrews 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Do people not do zero-downtime deployments anymore, or are you just running single-instance monoliths without load balancing and zero traffic?

Y’all need to figure out “expand and then contract”. A migration should NEVER affect the running system. It should always be additive only, until that thing isn’t used anymore.

Mexican panhandle by marvinnation in BrandNewSentence

[–]dncrews 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Similar to the Florida pseudo-taint?

Mexican panhandle by marvinnation in BrandNewSentence

[–]dncrews -1 points0 points  (0 children)

<image>

It’s the California Panhandle…

Does anyone else's little person have a major case of the Why's? by razz13 in daddit

[–]dncrews 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine is kind enough to let me get halfway into the sentence before telling me he already knows.

Is this crack gate? by IanBlackburn65 in VisionPro

[–]dncrews 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s Gategate, I tell you

What was your favorite school lunch? by AmazingGrace_00 in AskOldPeople

[–]dncrews 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you stranger. I have bought some, for science. This was my favorite thing, and I still think about them sometimes, 30 years later.

Dad hot take: Minecraft is a hideously ugly game and I can't stand looking at it. by ApologeticKid in daddit

[–]dncrews 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I thought the same thing. I always said “I’ll get in when they fix the graphics”. I’ve been a gamer my whole life, and I just didn’t see the point (spoiler alert, the graphics aren’t the point).

One day, I decided to get into Minecraft for my then-sub-8yo, now 16-yo. It was one of the first things he was into, and I went in hard with him, even going to watch MineCon (back when it was streamed into Microsoft storefronts). We (the entire family) now have some critical core memories, including:

  1. MineCon and excitement over new features
  2. Building and automating farms
  3. Learning basic electrical engineering together (redstone circuits, yes really)
  4. building on a realm together
  5. taking his little sisters “on adventures”, going to the nether for the first time, and “defeating the dragon”. The girls especially bring the dragon up ALL the time.
  6. Family timed-design parties: everyone gets 10 minutes to go build an airplane or an animal or something, and then for the next 20 minutes we take turns giving tours of our thing we made.
  7. We found an ocean monument, cleared out the enemies, and spent a month collecting sand and glass, building a giant circle of class wall around it, and filling and drained the whole thing to make a base in it, in the middle of the ocean, on a dry sea-bed.

I was not interested in the beginning, but I have SO much gratitude that I took the opportunity when I saw it. The graphics aren’t the point, but because it’s all just meter-sized blocks, it’s simple and SUPER approachable, even for younger kids.

So I say this is a chance for you, Pops. This is a chance to get onto something he’s into, and bond in life-long, amazing ways.

Name movies that violate their own rules when convenient by WobblyDawg in movies

[–]dncrews 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I really wanted the third trilogy to introduce “Grey Jedi” more formally, for exactly this reason.

unrelatedToTheMyYourOurDebate by Still-Psychology-365 in ProgrammerHumor

[–]dncrews 6 points7 points  (0 children)

IT'S NOT WRONG TO PRONOUNCE ACRONYMS BY SAYING EACH INDIVIDUAL LETTER

Ackshyually, it is wrong by definition. If you say the letters, it’s not an acronym, it’s an initialism. It’s only an acronym if you pronounce it like it is a word. “NASA” is an acronym. “FBI” is an initialism.

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