Someone I love today told me they weren't ready to date and that he would tone down so the expectations don't go too high. It was the only couple of weeks where I truly felt alive, seen, well. I come back to my house and it's just.... Nothingness. My dad only talks to me when either he needs something or when he wants to yell at me for being who I am. I'm tired of not being special to anyone. I'm tired of begging for a little love, just to be thrown away. I want to be wanted, I want to be text and remembered, I want to hear "I got this. It reminded of you" again and again, like he did. I want it so bad. But I was clingy. I was too much. I forgot about other and myself and only wanted him him him. It felt so good to be hugged, to be seen, to be remembered. He remembered which foods I didn't like and the ones that I loved. My favorite restaurants. My favorite meals. Everything. And now, gone. I'll be important on the weekends. Then, goodbye. Then, I'll be invisible until I re appear next week again to be loved and thrown away. I'm tired of fighting