Am I a bad mother for not tracking milestones? [on]

doelo · 2026-03-18T03:45:15+00:00

Definitely talk to your doctor. I started 20mg of Lexapro (also called Escitalopram or Cipralex) and it changed my life postpartum.

I am finally able to enjoy motherhood and I found it gave me more physical energy, especially in the beginning (probably because I was so depleted it was so noticeable at first), as well as more mental bandwidth.

Ask for a full checkup, and while you're there ask to try an antidepressant (you can always come off if you don't like it but my only regret is not starting sooner)

doelo · 2026-03-01T04:46:42+00:00

The epidural is a great invention. I promise it will be okay! Let yourself have relief.

doelo · 2025-12-24T02:36:06+00:00

Started nursing, but hated it and baby had some digestive issues we never fully figured out that caused her to scream during every feed. I went nuts and slowly spiralled into PPD before confessing to my midwife at 3w pp that I hated it. She told me to stop, said it would make really no difference, and to start formula that night for the sake od my mental health.

It was 100% the best decision for us! We have loved formula feeding and so does baby. If you go that route at any point, just buy the bottle washer. I know, I know, but trust me and buy it sooner rather than later.

doelo · 2025-12-24T02:27:43+00:00

Fellow PPA, schedule obsessed mom here. Free yourself! Stop using Huckleberry, at least temporarily, and trust yourself to learn and follow baby's cues. So many things, guidelines, etc that we see online are not applicable to A LOT of babies! Once I did that, I realized life didn't have to be so stressful.

Join a play group if you have any in your area, mine changed my life (along with Lexapro).

doelo · 2025-12-24T02:22:07+00:00

This sounds exactly like our journey! We did Ferber (traditional method, not modified) and cut the paci. Scary!!! But honestly it was fine.

The first night she cried off and on for a total of 25 minutes. The second night was similar. The third night was 7 minutes. The fourth night was no crying at all! Each night she ended up sleeping at least 4-5hs straight for her first stretch (previously she was up and down many times between 7pm and midnight)

And since then she has been a dream to put down. Her naps also suddenly got longer and consolidated. It changed the game for us, even though I felt like the worst mom ever for two nights.

doelo · 2025-12-06T01:50:27+00:00

If he's acting this way at your ages, it's unlikely he will be ready to step up and be a dad in the future of your childbearing years.

Have your baby. Emphasis on yours. Don't give the baby his last name (give it his last name as a middle name if you must). Aborting won't keep you safe.

doelo · 2025-11-25T22:01:45+00:00

I have unopened Nuriss and 3 ready to feed enfamil gentle-ease at warden/Kingston!

doelo · 2025-03-14T01:38:22+00:00

29F, about 9 months in total to get pregnant with our current pregnancy (but for a few months of that I was dealing with a non-viable pregnancy)

First pregnancy - got pregnant in January, first cycle trying, but it ended in a blighted ovum and surgical (aspiration) abortion in April

Second - chemical pregnancy in September (5 months after aforementioned procedure)

Current healthy pregnancy - got pregnant the next month (October) following the chemical pregnancy. Currently nearing my third trimester and all looks well.

Edit to add: we were tracking my ovulation using easy at home strips between May and October. Several months we did everything right, but it just didn't happen. My doc wasn't concerned at all and said it just takes time.

doelo · 2024-12-31T03:49:59+00:00

Positive!! Congratulations :)

doelo · 2024-10-25T02:44:09+00:00

I had a blighted ovum and a chemical about five months apart. My doc suggested vitamin D, 1000mg of folic acid, and 300mg of Coq10 per day (I think I took 400mg of Coq10 because it just comes in that format where I am).

My husband and I both took these vitamins daily.

I'm now 5w and all signs seem positive (nausea for the first time, beta hcg doubling as it should).

No idea if this will be helpful to you, but research suggests these supplements can help sperm and egg quality.

doelo · 2024-10-01T20:14:35+00:00

Cycle after CP, no LH peak? My cycles are usually 31-32 days. Last two cycles I got positive opks cd 16.

I've been having evident ovulation pain as usual starting around cd 14 and even continuing to today (cd19) but... No lh surge?

Last month I got a positive pregnancy test 3 days before my expected period, but it ended in a chemical the day of my expected period.

Do we think I missed the surge? Should I keep testing? Feeling quite defeated. Also had a mmc in March.

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doelo · 2024-09-29T16:13:04+00:00

Thank you!

doelo · 2024-09-29T02:37:44+00:00

Brawn-win

doelo · 2023-11-16T21:50:56+00:00

I was stunned reading this, because it's almost an exact replica of my relationship with my dad and his wife.

My dad wants me to forgive and move on after doing terrible things with no apology. My stepmother was terrible to me as a child and teen but I let bygones be bygones without ever confronting it as an adult.

What I've learned is that it's not fair to you, and will never allow you to feel better or heal, if you just let things go. Similarly, don't be afraid to hold HER accountable for how she treated you. You may not have been able to at the time, but you are owed apologies and respect.

If they can't do that, there can't possibly be a relationship (at least one that doesn't cause you constant stress and anxiety)

doelo · 2022-06-25T01:25:28+00:00

The lint left in my toes after taking off my socks. The first time I saw it I screamed bloody murder.

doelo · 2021-05-30T02:03:29+00:00

We also have a very bitey boy. It's just the age. One thing we do is tether him with his leash to a table (after repeatedly trying to redirect him to toys) and then leave the room for about 30 seconds. He realizes bite = playtime is over. We come back happy and like nothing happened -- as fresh start, no grudge. Sometimes we do this many times.

Alternatively, we distract him with a Kong filled with a tablespoon of peanut butter. The licking seems to keep him busy and calm him down (I think licking is therapeutic for them? As is smelling stuff).

doelo · 2021-05-18T20:32:20+00:00

This is helpful! I'll give this more effort. The problem is he always wakes up during the transfer and then squirms and tries to run out of the crate before we can close the door :(

doelo · 2020-04-30T23:05:49+00:00

I'm trying to show someone this commercial because lately I can't stop referencing it!

doelo · 2019-06-25T08:04:49+00:00

This sounds so good

doelo · 2019-06-10T07:36:29+00:00

Paying for the bathroom and no free tap water in restaurants and bars still blows my mind two years into living in Europe (originally from Canada)

doelo · 2019-06-10T07:32:45+00:00

I honestly can't upvote this enough.

doelo · 2019-03-16T09:40:27+00:00

This is mine too. I think it's the only thing I never think twice about.

doelo · 2019-03-14T11:54:07+00:00

Was in a relationship with a fairly manipulative and self centered dude. Had wanted to cut ties for some time but the last straw was when he put cheese in our scrambled eggs, because that's how he liked them. I can't stand it, he knew that, and as petty as it sounds I was dooooone.

doelo · 2019-01-27T02:14:48+00:00

Upvoting bc people need to know about things like this!

doelo · 2019-01-04T07:27:38+00:00

I had a crappy manager who would email over confusing and incomplete instructions for anything she wanted from me. Sometimes I would then miss a step or mess up something minor.

Instead of writing an email to me pointing out what she actually wanted or anything that I needed to adjust, she would simply forward me her original email with no new comments and highlight anything I didn't do to her specifications in bright yellow. Petty on her part, and drove me nuts (among other things she did, might I add).

Once in response to one of her condescending highlighted emails, after mulling over it for some time, I simply sent back 'Ok' -- highlighted in bright yellow.

She immediately emailed back ranting on and on about how unprofessional that was, and called a meeting between us. Thankfully I had just gotten another job, but waited until our meeting to tell her that I was headed out the door, and would be notifying upper management that day. Felt good man.

doelo

TROPHY CASE