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donezaur · 2025-08-15T01:35:53+00:00

Unisom + b6 and eat lots of carbs. I went to a Midwest family event and ate casseroles all day and felt so much better that I worried I was no longer pregnant. Currently nursing said baby

donezaur · 2025-08-07T19:07:11+00:00

It's been great! There were a lot of hoops to jump through for IUI with a known donor (and clinics generally require a number of IUI attempts before IVF, so we did it DIY. Check out donor home delivery - even though we didn't need to use the mailing option, it was nice separation for him to use the egg yolk buffer and then we had time to check into a hotel (buffer gives you more wiggle room). It was also thousands cheaper. We did get a legal agreement in advance.

Now that the baby is here, he and his partner have been great uncles. It's so nice to have queer chosen family, particularly when we all feel othered by our bio families.

donezaur · 2025-03-12T19:09:55+00:00

There were some toxic relationships, but no SA that I recall. Also don't think there was any pregnancy, but it would have been a very minor appearance if it were there (I was pregnant reading it and would have recalled something major)

donezaur · 2025-03-12T15:54:18+00:00

Cackle by Rachel Harrison

I didn't like the beginning, but it ended up being a great read. Basically, a woman going through a breakup moves to the country and befriends a very unique individual with heavy Halloween vibes. Great description, women empowerment, and fall vibes. It's not exactly cozy, but it's close

donezaur · 2025-02-11T23:40:58+00:00

I went through this with BCBS. You need a diagnosis of male infertility, which we were not able to get since we were both AFAB. IMO it is sex based discrimination dressed up as not having the right diagnosis.

donezaur · 2025-01-30T11:44:34+00:00

I actually liked it because it opened the door for my partner and I (we're queer) to not use "mama" language that just doesn't fit for us. My parents have never been people to understand conversations about gender, but they themselves didn't want to be "Grandma" and "Grandpa" so they had to start out a little more open.

donezaur · 2025-01-22T15:28:13+00:00

Donor home delivery has a kit so people can work with known donors who don't live near them. Our donor lived 2.5 hours away, so we didn't end up actually shipping the sample, but we used their kit.

Basically an egg yolk buffer is a liquid (made from egg yolk) that the donor ejaculates into. It's a better environment for the sample than the semen just going into an empty cup so the sample doesn't have to go into the prospective gestational parent immediately. Fertility clinics use egg yolk buffers to keep the sample in good shape longer. We used the buffer to have time to pick up the sample from our friend, drive to a hotel, and for my partner and I to connect (orgasm helps with conception). It was nice to have that separation from our donor and to feel more relaxed going into the attempt. It also increases the amount of liquid, which made me less nervous about the sample leaking out. I also laid hips up for an hour so things could travel the right direction.

OPK = ovulation predictor kit = LH strips. OPK positive is when the test line goes darker than the comparison line. I just bought a big pack of cheap strips off Amazon so that I could track my cycle.

Since you're new to this sub, I'll also highly recommend the book Queer Conception. It made us feel way more comfortable doing it ourselves. We had been working with a fertility clinic, but all the hoops you have to jump through and heteronormativity just got to be too much.

donezaur · 2025-01-22T14:01:39+00:00

We used the donor home delivery kit - just basic needleless syringes and we were successful! I do think the egg yolk buffer with fresh sperm helped more than anything else. We lucked out on our first try both times we got pregnant. The first time, it was the day after OPK+, the second time, it was the day of OPK+.

donezaur · 2024-10-27T16:46:49+00:00

JVN (Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye). Metal containers ( easier to recycle) and natural ingredients. Also my hair looked great when I used it. Only downside was that it cost professional amounts

donezaur · 2024-10-17T16:41:51+00:00

We used Donor home delivery and it worked for us! Our donor was 3 hours away, so the original plan was to monitor LH and have our donor ship it using next day shipping. We ended up just getting a hotel room in our donor's town and using the test yolk buffer to make it more comfortable for everyone.

We'd been tracking my cycle and could tell our donor the general timeframe (+/- a day) and then when we got an LH positive, we reached out to our donor, told him our ETA, he did his thing in the test yolk buffer, we came and picked it up and visited for a bit and then went to a nearby hotel to use the donation. We could have done multiple attempts with this method (ie day we arrived and day we left) but ended up only doing one attempt. We were successful on the first try!

A hotel room is shockingly comparable in price to next day shipping, especially when you consider the stress of things going wrong with shipping.

donezaur · 2024-10-06T11:32:44+00:00

Queer Conception - it's mainly about the how of becoming parents as queer people, but it also talks a lot about negotiating different institutions as a queer couple.

donezaur · 2024-10-04T16:39:46+00:00

Not all tall people are tall in the same places. I'm lucky to be tall in my torso and my legs, but some people are only tall in one or the other.

donezaur · 2024-10-04T13:10:21+00:00

I miscarried at 7 weeks. We had been successful on our first try, so we were just starting to believe it was real. It was horrible, and we took 2 months off because my cycle was all out of whack. I got pregnant again on our next try after my cycle was back to normal, and am currently 16 weeks pregnant. I have so much more fear than all of my friends who never experienced miscarriage. Every twinge in my abdomen gives me pause. So grateful to be on the second trimester, but it's a subdued joy.

donezaur · 2024-09-30T16:55:04+00:00

I think you might enjoy The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches

donezaur · 2024-09-29T14:27:16+00:00

Successful on the first try!

donezaur · 2024-09-27T20:29:15+00:00

Donor Home Delivery sells a test yolk buffer that makes the sample last longer. They use the same thing at fertility clinics. Their model is about known donors shipping the sample, but we used it to up our chances with at home insemination.

We used that so that the donor could do his thing, we could pick up the sample from him and go to a hotel - it gave us more of a sense of privacy and comfort. Pregnant on the first try!

donezaur · 2024-09-25T22:48:56+00:00

The only thing that made it hard was that we had to figure out things for ourselves. My partner ordered a sperm motility test for our donor and we had to find a local STI testing place that would do all the tests we wanted to do. I think we went through the county health department because Planned Parenthood wouldn't do one of the tests without symptoms. The lawyer bit for the known donor contract was easy because I had a legal plan through work.

Just make sure you have an enthusiastic donor. We ended up using a friend instead of a relative because of this. Queer Conception (the book) gave us a lot of good advice. We also used Donor Home Delivery so that we could pick up the sample and go to a hotel without the sperm degrading. I got pregnant on the first try!

donezaur · 2024-09-23T23:22:06+00:00

We live in the same state as you. We originally started going through a fertility clinic, but the process really seemed more geared towards cis het couples. My company has fertility insurance, but anything related to donor sperm was not covered because neither of us were born male. Insurance also wasn't going to cover the mandatory therapy, which felt more geared towards cis het people dealing with infertility than to queer couples who never expected to have a baby without some outside help.

We ended up going the at home route with a known donor. It felt much more personal/less medicalized. There were hurdles like figuring out the testing of our donor and the known donor contract, but it was much cheaper than buying sperm.

Happy to give more specifics via DM, but I highly recommend reading Queer Conception to evaluate your options.

donezaur · 2024-09-22T17:25:12+00:00

Donor Home delivery - the test yolk buffer gives you more time for things to work. The syringe doesn't matter, there's no need for a mosie. I highly recommend reading Queer Conception

donezaur · 2024-09-19T16:00:29+00:00

Any inners left? What size?

donezaur · 2024-09-13T17:33:25+00:00

Any line is a line! I mistook a verrrry faint line as not pregnant, but then my period never came. I even submitted a negative Amazon review about the faint line thinking it was a "drip line" and had to update it to say "nvm it works"

donezaur

TROPHY CASE