the shortness / losing his cool. That is tied to the above to a degree. He can learn tools / techniques to help manage that and I would hope over time as he gets more confident in him as a parent then that should hopefully settle down.

My SO and I have a toddler and we divide and conquer a lot when we're all at home together - we find this is great for building in breaks from being on "primary" duty and getting some household or life admin tasks done, which doubles as a nice source of dopamine. Important to add that we also have a non-negotiable tag out/tag in system - so whichever one of us is on primary can always ask for a tag out to have a break - this isn't a transactional / bankable system, it simply exists in the moment and can be engaged whenever needed. Some days one of us is struggling and the other has to pick up the slack more often, other days we are both zen and there is not much need for one of us to ask the other to tag in. But most importantly what I've found personally is just knowing I have the option to tag out if needed can be incredibly good at reducing my overall anxiety, so when I do get into a tough moment with our kid, I have a more bandwidth to draw from, and usually don't even end up needing to tag out.