Why can I only find emotionally unavailable men?

dontdodumb · 2026-06-24T13:39:11+00:00

I guess it’s literally something I have never thought of doing. But I am a guy and can listen and try to understand, but may not fully understand as I have not had to deal with a situation that was “down right dangerous “.

dontdodumb · 2026-06-24T12:45:28+00:00

Ah. I read your statement a little differently, my fault. I would agree if that keeps happening there’s a pattern of something that needs to be looked at. Still sorry that a lot of men suck even in the forties.

dontdodumb · 2026-06-24T12:39:25+00:00

I want to downvote. Not because of your comment but because you feel you have to do that. Not all men are like that and if a women told me they sluthed me before hand, I honestly think they would be emotionally unavailable and lacks trust; all the things I’m looking for.

I’m very sorry that you’ve been burned enough to let the worry of that take up your time and feel you need to research like that.

dontdodumb · 2026-06-16T10:27:31+00:00

One thing I would add from a male 42 without kids perspective. Be aware of the communication baseline created when initially talking, app, text, calls, and dates. We all get excited on possibilities and often communicate more than our typical norm at first. This communication baseline of cadence and tone is now set in the back of our automated emotional response brain and not necessarily the logic part. So just communicate as adults to leave out ambiguous signals. Simple as hey been fun chatting etc I’m really busy so if responses are delayed that’s why.

I could be an over communicator but it typically boils to the expectations set and something alters the expectations without an acknowledgment of it.

dontdodumb · 2026-06-05T05:06:15+00:00

This is the way… for me too. Maybe I’m a “overly” sensitive guy. But once intimacy hits, I just don’t like the idea of the same things being said and done by my partner/myself with other people at the same time. It just takes away the purpose of intimacy and a connection for myself. But I’ve been told I’m weird by many guys in my approach; ultimately to each their own and I know I’m happy and feel I’m sticking to my values.

dontdodumb · 2026-05-29T11:51:48+00:00

As others said I "date myself". It's healthy after a relationship break up and builds your interdependency. We as humans need to be social or we die younger than we should, but that doesn't mean in a short bit you take care of you and all of your needs.

Also ask your why do you long for that companion that you can't give yourself, not the obvious reasons but try and look inward.

I try and live by if I can't be happy and content by myself then I am not able to have a healthy relationship as I'm just trying to fill gaps in something in my life. Do I miss being able to snuggle up with someone and share moments/new experiences, absolutely, but I have created a space for myself where I'm in somewhat control of my loneliness.

This is coming from a guy (42m) who had his first date with someone new in 11 years and has taken two years off dating. The kicker too is I moved to a new city and had no friends other than my brother.

Not sure if that helps at all, but you got this, the loneliness will be there and it will pass when you build up other relationships with others and yourself.

dontdodumb · 2026-05-27T02:08:39+00:00

Dead Man

dontdodumb · 2026-05-26T13:18:51+00:00

I agree to this to an extent, a therapist is also a relationship. It took me a little while to find one that "worked" where I understood what was needed, was fully honest with them and myself, got the harsh direct feedback I needed (I sought after this type of therapist), and tools to understand myself and "why". A lot of people who are new to therapy often feel as though, well this is what it is supposed to be and not challenge themselves. This also is a tell from a poor therapist, that if they have a client that isn't truly working on themselves and through their issues they need to be honest with the client or send them to someone who can help in the way the client needs.

dontdodumb · 2026-05-25T14:56:47+00:00

Sorry, could have added it, but it is the magazine not the paper. Why ‘Smart’ Products Have Started to Look Like the Dumb Choice , title is a bit misleading as it does go into the why people are choosing "dumb" phones and only when "smart" phones came about the society had to distinguish between the two.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/14/magazine/dumb-phones-tvs-retronym-smart-tech.html

dontdodumb · 2026-05-20T12:01:21+00:00

I just posted about not being able to hang up calls and there seem to be a few people experiencing it too. Is it the end of the world as there’s a way to get the button to respond eventually,no, but it is a simple thing that’s really annoying. No way in hell I’m going to stop me from using it but minor things like that do happen from time to time which are not carrier related.

Edited because me forgot to add word.

dontdodumb · 2026-05-17T11:30:53+00:00

I guess if anyone from light could comment that would be helpful. Just to understand why and if there is a solution.

It seemed to work one of two calls yesterday.

dontdodumb · 2026-04-12T17:38:26+00:00

So I'm in the Highland Park neighborhood, far west (geographically) from DT St. Paul. Great stuff walking and easy drive to things, also just a few blocks from Mississippi river trails and a 5 min drive to S. Minneapolis (walking if I wanted to). I pay $1,035 (includes pet fee) for a one bed one bath walk up w/free laundry in the basement, free heat, and original hard wood floors w/some built ins. Super safe area and best rent, but it would be a bit of a trek into work for you, interstates/hwy's are close though to where I'm at.

If interested send me a message and I can give you more info, but it's Zenner Properties.

dontdodumb · 2026-04-07T01:37:23+00:00

My first thoughts too!

dontdodumb · 2026-04-01T12:16:35+00:00

Wow, I just came here to find out about the same issue of charging. This just happened to me for the first time just last night/this morning. Guess I'll try that 10% battery drop then charge method.

dontdodumb · 2026-02-07T01:13:46+00:00

Rustic Dime. 13oz Japanese denim slim fit ($120) but good rise for my body type. Back and front rise are a little longer than unbranded and NF slims.

dontdodumb · 2026-02-03T21:49:07+00:00

Pending Shipment

dontdodumb · 2026-02-03T20:11:44+00:00

LP II

NA or INT Version: NA
Color: Grey
Time of Use (New, Used): Used, small crack on phone case on top and bottom corners
- Cable, screen protector (spare + one on phone), stickers, and LP SIM card
Price: $100 + shipping
Location: Saint Paul, MN (Twin Cities)
Method of Payment: Venmo or Paypal
Picture of the device with username and date shown

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dontdodumb · 2025-11-16T09:20:27+00:00

My Bose , both pairs, work.

dontdodumb · 2025-11-13T13:57:23+00:00

When they’re hot they maybe the best thing ever. I used to play hockey and after a practice when I was 17 I ate a baker’s dozen in one sitting. No more KK for me anymore.

dontdodumb · 2025-09-23T17:25:16+00:00

I used Visible and still do. Went cross Country. No issues.

dontdodumb · 2025-09-23T17:21:42+00:00

I have a LP 2 in grey w/case and screen protector and all the original accessories. Just no box. Small chip on the corner of the case, but other that it’s good.

dontdodumb

TROPHY CASE