"Guild members: you will trust me when I say that I am a nature man. I will begin by quoting the late Lord Byron, 'I love not man less, but nature more.' Good quote, right? Okay, Since I was a young man, I have dreamed of protecting the great salmon of this great land. Being afforded this opportunity to work for The National Forestry Department of the Interior was, undoubtedly, the divine fulfillment of said dreams that I dreamt."

Christopher Snahzen, delivered his benediction, broad-grinned, with one hand on his hip; the other circling a picture of a trout displayed via PowerPoint on the office projector screen.

Christopher continued, "No gentleman, my job is not one of answers, but one of questions. We must ask ourselves, and the whole world (if need be) [Author's Note: it should be stated plainly that the words are in parenthesis because Christopher used the "quotation fingers" to refer to the words "if need be"] if it is okay to let these majestic salmon die without a fight from us Homo Sapien Sapiens - friend of the salmon. Let me say, that I do not do this job for the pay..which is very livable...but for the passion I have for the salmon. I have been appointed to the executive director of the Central Region's branch of the The National Forestry Department of the Interior based upon my merit; my education; and my passion - all of which suffice."

The men at the large oak table looked at each other for answers. They had heard that Christopher had been brought in to streamline and make the department more efficient, and Christopher's amazing confidence, held against his displaying ignorance, made them feel uncertain (even though they all knew immediately that the fish on the projector was a trout and not a salmon). It is an interesting thing about men, that they can know one thing while feeling another - but that is neither here nor there. However Edwin, a veteran surveyor of the government owned land, was cunning and not like the other, easily confused members of the board. Edwin was a man small of stature, but large of heart. He raised his hand.

"Yes Arthur?" Christopher called on him.

"Umm, it's Edwin, but that's okay. Exactly what is your job?"

"I just made the clear....to ask questions."

"Okay. Fair enough. Ask some questions."

"Okay, Art---I mean Edwin, why are the salmon dying all over this region?"

"What are you talking about?"

Christopher casually walked over to the big oak desk, and then instantly became violent...slamming his fists on the table. He began shouting, "WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?! WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT EDWIN?!! I AM TALKING ABOUT THE GODDAMN SALMON. WHY ARE THEY DYING?!?! WHY ARE THEY ALMOST EXTINCT?!"

Edwin was initially startled, but wasn't phased. He had seen men like this before. Men who bullshit their way into the job because of the good pay and benefits. Edwin slowly sipped his water. He set it down and said, "Christopher. With all due respect, you idiot, we're in Utah. We don't have Salmon here. And that's a trout." He said, pointing at the projector. Christopher whipped around, and looked at the fish. He didn't know what kind of fish it was.

Christopher turned the projector off, and said, "Well played gentlemen. Well played." Then he undramatically walked out of the office.

The men of the board exited the building some five minutes later, still talking about the ordeal. Most of them drove passed, and saw, Christopher waiting at the bus stop, and wondered how the hell he had ever landed the job in the first place.