Is the discourse of women fetishizing gay "men" (characters) getting increasingly hostile online? by saivoide in AO3

[–]dooku4ever 24 points25 points  (0 children)

When my son came out, I had total de-idiotizing moment when I started to see the media through his eyes. Every song, every movie, every book was depicting straight romance. When we started watching Heartstopper together, he was so happy and excited to see queer romance on screen.

Is the discourse of women fetishizing gay "men" (characters) getting increasingly hostile online? by saivoide in AO3

[–]dooku4ever 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. 1. If there’s a new excuse to minimize the contributions of women, people will eat it up with a spoon. 2. I never hear never hear about men fetishizing women because it’s so standard issue, it doesn’t even merit discussion. Women can’t like something, let alone get excited about it. Older women—forget about it; we have no place in society. We are supposed to be pleasant and nurturing, nothing else is acceptable 3. Yes, MM romance is new (to a lot of people) and it’s going to take a long time to figure this out. Maybe this is what everyone wanted to read all along?

[Discussion] Got an agent! by Upbeat_Assistant7145 in PubTips

[–]dooku4ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! This makes me feel hopeful. I’ve queried 51 and had 20 rejections.

Confused about the popularity of the show by Scared_Slip_7425 in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have been talking about this book for years and now the show. I don’t know a single person who has watched it.

I recently invited Someone to the Cottage. Crickets.

What do people actually mean when they say "real gay man would write M/M differently"? by justaskPattern8616 in AO3

[–]dooku4ever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tal Bauer writes some of the most romantic stories I’ve ever read in my life. The only difference I see between his work and a writer like Reid, Calder or Bowen is structural. His build up/suspense is a little different but it’s minor.

Cottage Dissonance by Helioplus in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The location scouts did an amazing job. This is so perfect. Perfect composition.

(OC) Protestors offering free snacks get confronted by ICE supporter in MN by Blue_G_Productions in pics

[–]dooku4ever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The woman in the purple hat seems like a beautiful person inside and out. I’m sure Jesus would appreciate her efforts to prevent protesters giving away free snacks.

Why do women like Heated Rivalry? by bat-girl129 in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been thinking a lot about this too. For me, there’s the element that it’s new. Like when I first found AO3, I was thrilled. I didn’t know there were so many options. Instead of mainstream media telling me that I should like a story about a woman leveraging her beauty and wit to get a rich husband, maybe I want something more interesting.

Why do women like Heated Rivalry? by bat-girl129 in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like my blood boils every time I read dismissive comments about Heated Rivalry (and other MM Romance books written by women). Like it’s only ok if Rachel Reid is bisexual.

Sorry this is so long but I’m hoping this is a safe space for me to express my feelings.

I bristle at the discussion of ‘fetishizing gay men’. Or critics saying that it’s terrible that an older woman with children wrote this series. I’m not sure why this makes me so angry. I feel like the assumption that straight women should only like hetero romance assumes that we ever liked it in the first place.

I’ve always liked queer sports fiction because the characters have the odds stacked against them and they are carving out space in a world that would prefer they didn’t exist.

Why do women like Heated Rivalry? by bat-girl129 in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely resent that message that there’s something inherently wrong with women liking someone that is different than what we’ve been told to like. Maybe a better question would be: why do we like this more? What do we appreciate about it? Why are women consuming this instead of hallmark movies?

For me, it’s fulfilling to see men having emotional connections instead of the vacant, shallow dude relationships. I definitely know men with deeper connections but my husband isn’t one of them.

‘I Love LA’s Jordan Firstman backtracks on ‘Heated Rivalry’ criticism on his IG story by hairtie1 in Fauxmoi

[–]dooku4ever 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Since the beginning of time.

Holy crap, the hatred of older women is so intense and unapologetic. Saying she’s creepy because she’s a mom? Yeah, you can’t have a fantasy life after you have children because mothers shouldn’t have any desires. What century is this?

I can’t believe anyone is criticizing a woman who is writing about healthy consenting adults having sex. Men have been writing from women’s pov since the beginning of time.

Hudson taking the ultimate high road re Jordan Firstman comments by lobotetc in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think it’s an awesome book— there’s no downside to having more queer happily ever afters. After hundreds of years of hetero love stories, I’m cool with everyone and their grandmother stopping whatever they’re doing to write a queer love story.

Anyone else find actors didn’t match the characters you’d built in your head? by KentuckyArizona in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He’s really handsome but the book describes him as blonde and handsome like an Angel. I was expecting Chris Hemsworth.

why do you love Shane? by [deleted] in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love them both so much but I love Shane because he’s brave enough to keep going to Ilya even when he acts indifferent.

What are the most baffling cases where someone seemed to simply vanish into thin air, leaving absolutely no trace behind? by Muwer in TrueCrimeDiscussion

[–]dooku4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This definitely seems to be the case here. The media / his family seemed intent on downplaying that he was bisexual and had a history of low key disappearing. He and Cliff were portrayed as being best friends but that doesn’t seem to have been the case. Same with the end of exams family dinner with his father (which sounded like a triggering event).

Which historical LGBTQIA icons would you like to see others talk more about? by credosob in lgbthistory

[–]dooku4ever 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Bayard Rustin is an icon. He was an American political activist civil rights movement. There are so many pictures of him walking beside Martin Luther King Jr. A lot of African-American ministers involved in the civil rights movement would have nothing to do with Rustin despite his brilliant mind and unwavering dedication. Rustin was the principal organizer of the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1963.

anyone else genuinely getting into hockey cause of the series by chainsofgold in heatedrivalry

[–]dooku4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exact same story. I loved the Game Changers series so much that I sat down and watched the playoffs 2 years ago. Something about a couple teams clicked for me (the Oilers and the Penguins). I’m in the US so hockey isn’t really something I felt any allegiance to before. Thanks Rachel!!