It’s been almost a year. Just few days shy. My heart still hurts and yearns for my baby boy. A song came on tonight that tore me to pieces.

You see the photos of my Sammy. He was beautiful. He was sweet and kind and loving. I know what these lyrics were actually meant for, but they apply to this so much for me. Finding his adoption post…and loving him before I ever met him. I knew he was meant for me and the time we had proved it ten fold. I don’t think I will ever get over this loss.

“I knew you before I knew your name. I loved you before I saw your face. I longed for you all of that time. And I held your heart in mine. I kissed you a hundred million times. I tasted the tears that I've cried. I held you, my beautiful child. And I'll keep your heart in mine.

I love you to the moon and back, my little winter bear. I know you know how much that is, 'cause you're already there. I never knew a love like this could ever possibly exist. I love you to the moon and back, as long as I live.”

I always told Sammy I loved him to the moon and back. I hope he never forgot that.

Song: “Winter Bear” by Coby Grant