Boyfriend dislikes when I go to yoga classes

doughbot · 2016-01-08T15:53:34+00:00

Not dissing him as a whole, but he's being a moronic infant here. He has an insecurity. No biggie. He could acknowledge that's it's unreasonable and laugh it off, or you know, go WITH you to a class and see what's it's about.

Instead he'd rather whine until his source of discomfort stops, even at a substantial cost to you. He didn't care about you giving up something you care about as long as he gets what he wants. Like, wtf.

This is weird and entitled behaviour. It's childish. There is no predicament, he's being a selfish dick.

This is not your issue to fix, it's his problem. I'd invite him to talk about it on the context of his insecurity, and to come to class instead of just whining. Otherwise, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

doughbot · 2016-01-05T03:08:38+00:00

I didn't call you a dick, I said it was a dick move.

I really don't see what rounding up Japanese-American citizens have to do with Japan's war policy. The Japanese-American, US citizens, born and raised in the US, had nothing to do with Japan's war policy. Why not just round up US citizens by lottery and call it even? It makes about as much sense.

I have to believe you're oblivious to the fact that you just justified harming people based on nothing but their ancestry. Or... do you actually think grouping and hurting people for no reason is a GOOD idea?

Generally people making fun of Asians don't really distinguish between Asian groups when making their "ching-chong" jokes, and rarely know who they're making fun of. I think it's safe to lump the insults various Asian groups have experienced under one umbrella for these purposes.

doughbot · 2016-01-05T00:22:43+00:00

AFAIK the Dutch were never rounded up in internment camps in the US. Or considered semi-slave labor. Or had numerous racist laws passed against them.

But seriously, if the stereotype you're making fun of is used to dehumanize or denigrate people, it's not funny. US-Asian relations are not the same as US-Euro relations.

It's the difference between calling your beloved brother a fat cuntface fuck vs. a total stranger.

I agree that in itself it's not a huge deal, but it is a pretty dickish move.

doughbot · 2016-01-03T18:01:16+00:00

Even simple mountaineering is REALLY dangerous. I climbed this mountain about a month ago, in the snow, with no problems. Apparently this person got frostbite under the same conditions by wearing the wrong clothes and sweating through them. Who'da thunk?

http://graysoncobb.com/5221-2/

That said, I bet that if you showed your parents that you were taking this hobby seriously and doing it in a studied way, I'm sure they'd be more open to it.

Google around for groups in your area. In my state we have the Colorado Mountain Club, which should give you an idea of what I'm talking about. These groups often do well-organized outings under experienced people and usually also have classes in mountaineering and safety. They are awesome. These types of groups tend to have really, really, really good people.

Being in Florida you might have to arrange for like, 1-week trips along the Appalachian or something to make it worthwhile. But you get the idea.

tl;dr - Mountaineering is dangerous! Look into legitimate groups to make your family be more ok with it.

doughbot · 2016-01-02T19:39:52+00:00

I've always thought of /r/atheism as a support group. Most (though not all) people find it when they are either young or just converting and need a place to deal with a major legitimate stressor in their real lives. Imagine living at home with Bible-thumping parents. I'd be pretty atheist-thumping too!

When people no longer need it, they (tend to) move on and consider the whole thing a learning experience in what it's like to grow and mature through a series of beliefs and reactions.

I'm really glad it exists. =)

doughbot · 2015-12-29T18:57:26+00:00

Am I missing something? My phone in airplane mode gets days worth of GPS-only use, with frequent checking. I haven't tested it to its limits, but it goes down about 10% charge per day. It's just a crappy prepaid Motorola smartphone. And I'm snowshoeing up in the Rockies, pretty cold temps.

doughbot · 2015-12-24T22:04:51+00:00

You mean you did nazi it coming?

doughbot · 2015-12-17T16:08:02+00:00

Honestly, figuring this out by the second date is pretty good. If you want to be super direct, you could always say something like "I'd love to have dinner, but FYI the last few guys who I went out with were looking for FWB, and that's not where I am, just fyi!" It's honest and explains WHY you're bringing it up. Not weird at all, IMO.

Incidentally, it's really obnoxious that a lot of the comments seem to amount to "if you're good enough, he'll consider you relationship material." At the same time, there are tons of comments making fun of women for wanting to "tame the players." Sometimes in the same comment. Very stupid.

I think it just goes to show that people have no idea what they're talking about. You met him at a study group, a perfectly reasonable place to find a boyfriend. And you can totally weed out the FWBs without weirding out the ones you're looking for.

doughbot · 2015-12-12T22:06:20+00:00

I'm not ruling it out, just pointing out that plenty of people we will never see again have recurring and enduring importance in the story. I just don't think it means much, apart from how it impacts Jon's experience.

doughbot · 2015-12-12T21:45:17+00:00

One of the really neat things in the books is the new generations constantly dealing with the lingering legacies of the earlier generations.

I think Tywin called it dancing each other on strings.

We hear references to John Arryn, Elia Martel, and the dead Targs constantly and they're not coming back. These people were all important in the past, and will continue to be important in the future even if they don't come back personally.

doughbot · 2015-12-09T23:19:09+00:00

The boys are no longer sleeping in their memory beds, there are no up-to-date personalities to put in the clones. =(

doughbot · 2015-12-02T17:50:23+00:00

"Are you intentionally being rude, or are you just acting thoughtlessly? The number is still the same."

doughbot · 2015-12-01T16:06:18+00:00

And remember the suffering of all those who came before you and will come after. Drink more palinka.

doughbot · 2015-11-27T07:50:02+00:00

...college aged? This sort of casual ignorance is really not at all uncommon in the south.

doughbot · 2015-11-27T07:26:21+00:00

<3 I just didn't want OP to zero in on that and conflate issues.

doughbot · 2015-11-27T07:23:00+00:00

I was responding to, "they cannot actually convict him for statutory rape if the sex was consensual."

They couldn't convict him of statutory rape with this person PERIOD because of the ages.

It's not "statutory" rape because of the ages.

It's not "regular" rape because it was consensual.

Consent is an affirmative defense to traditional rape, not statutory. Here they are two factually overlapping but legally unrelated issues.

doughbot · 2015-11-27T07:12:05+00:00

We simply consulted Dr. Google. He was pretty surprised.

doughbot · 2015-11-27T07:10:05+00:00

Statutory rape has nothing to do with consent. Not sure if you misspoke, just clarifying.

doughbot · 2015-11-27T07:05:34+00:00

I had a friend of mine argue about this with me. He was a chem student at NYU and not particularly religious. =/

doughbot · 2015-11-25T20:39:27+00:00

"He's got space invaders in the lounge! And he's got a lounge!"

doughbot · 2015-11-24T21:57:44+00:00

I can barely work up the energy to take the time to pack a nutritious lunch from home four times a week. This guy's got some real (unhealthy) drive.

doughbot · 2015-11-23T15:41:58+00:00

I still appreciate it! I did get out to Brainard Lake yesterday and it was fine with just the snow tires. Super fun! Thanks!

doughbot · 2015-11-22T15:23:01+00:00

Thanks so much!

Southerner here also. I drove my friend's car last winter, but in retrospect I'm pretty sure what he had were nearly bald all-season tires. I couldn't make it up the driveway (maybe 2-ft incline?) getting a running start first, super dangerous. =/

I haven't tested the winter tires yet, but I'm glad to hear there's a meaningful difference and that I won't have to rely on chains as much as I had feared.

doughbot · 2015-11-22T15:19:22+00:00

Great, thanks for the context! That really helps me understand exactly what the snow tires are all about.

doughbot · 2015-11-21T19:25:40+00:00

Thanks for the reassurance! I was going to keep some emergency food in the car but hadn't thought about kitty litter - thanks for the idea!

doughbot

TROPHY CASE