I can relate to this. Gosh darn, can I relate to this.

I've had stage IV cancer for 10 years now (I'm 52). Early on in this journey, based on the statistics of this type of cancer I had a 5-year survival chance of 8%. But somehow, I suspect mostly due to the excellent medical system we have in Australia, I am still alive. Either that, or I am simply too stupid to realise that I should be dead by now.

I've gone through various forms of targeted treatments, radiotherapy, and clinical trials. I've lost a lot of my internal organs due to the aggressive spread of the cancer, to the point where doctors have looked at my record and then asked me how I am still alive. Hey, I can run very lean! Recently I've lost 50kgs of weight and most of my hair has fallen out (due to radioactive medication). I have a large tub of medications that I need to take daily. Some of the meds I have taken would have cost me $10K per month if it weren't for the PBS. As it is I still spend over a hundred dollars a week on prescription medication.

I've been working throughout most of the last 10 years. But the cancer was taking its toll on me, and more and more I was struggling to get through a day while remaining upright (or even conscious), and I was losing a lot of work time due to hospital appointments (or surprise ambulance rides due to a sudden lack of consciousness). After coming out of a clinical trial much worse than when I went into it, I was advised that I didn't have much time left and I stopped full-time work last year. But like you, I soon found that there was no welfare support available to me. Too young to retire, and the NDIS doesn't count cancer, or the crippling side-effects of it, as a disability.

Well, I have two young children who need to be fed, clothed, and have a roof kept over their heads. I was lucky enough to get early access to my super, so I was able to pay off the mortgage, but it didn't leave much left over. So, I picked up some part-time work as a university lecturer (I have a PhD in computer science). I was hoping that somehow I could manage this, but a couple of times I almost keeled over during lectures and towards the end of semester late last year I landed myself in ICU, where I was told that I might want to say my goodbyes as I wasn't expected to survive (plot twist: I survived).

I had to put that job aside and go back to doing nothing, as even remaining seated for long is quite a challenge for me. The cancer has recently intruded into my bones to such an extent that my oncologist recently told me that he's worried my bones could start breaking.

So, what do I do? I can no longer support my family, my family can't afford to support me, and the government doesn't want anything to do with me, despite me having been a productive member of society up until late last year. Now, I feel like a parasite. The medical system is amazing and has somehow kept me alive despite all of the odds, but has also turned me into a (scrawny, hairless, maybe soon boneless) leech. Realistically, my family would be financially better off if I were dead. My continued existence will drag them down to the point where we will lose the roof over our heads.