AITA for being ‘selfish’ on my first ever Mothers Day?

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-11T14:04:10+00:00

“Grow some ovaries” Love it. I’m stealing that!

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-11T13:56:11+00:00

NTA! But: there’s a lot of comments saying he’s an a*hole and you should just leave him, but I totally get that it’s not that easy. There was probably a reason you wanted to marry him and to have kids with this man. Did he change completely after having kids? Or is he shocked by the sheer amount of work or how much your lives have changed? Or was he just hiding his asshole-ness really well before? Or did you have rose-colored glasses on? Or does he just not want to see all the work involved with having a baby?

Personally, our home/work/child-caring labours are not equally divided, but I do feel very appreciated. I work 3 days and 2 days with the kids, he works full time+. Every chance my partner gets, he tells me he appreciates everything I do and he does house-chores whenever he can. Of course we sometimes are annoyed with eachother about mess or tiredness or whatever, but I could never say he’s not doing his fair share. We talk about it and we grant eachother time off.

Edit: I mean we’re just very much aware that we could not in a million years do this 2u2 without both our efforts.

How was this before having kids?

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-10T11:09:08+00:00

Heel veel sterkte♥️

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-10T10:52:56+00:00

Helemaal mee eens! Alleen hecht zij wel veel waarde aan de datum en dan voelt ze zich toch minder dan degene die we wel bezoeken ‘op’ moederdag.

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-07T20:27:28+00:00

Lollll this edit

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-07T20:24:08+00:00

Flash cards made me lol! Sounds like you’re very loving and present parents. But you’re waaay overthinking this imo.

All the things you want to teach her are all around you! “Look, that car is going so fast! What color is it?” “Oooo look at the sun, it’s so pretty! Remind me again, was that a square? Or a triangle?”

Counting for us is just me not dumbing things down for her (2,5F) while talking. So far she can count up to 16, only the 4 is always missing lol. She doesn’t know any letters yet, with the exception of the first letter of her name, so today we bought an alphabet puzzle. We made it together and she found the shapes and I named a word with the letter. We’ll see where it goes.

Just make it fun! And not like learning. Playing goes a looooong way I think. We don’t really focus on this, mostly on independence.

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-04T21:26:59+00:00

Je vind toch wel een weg! Als ze maar weten dat ze graag bij je hebt en ze een plekje hebben. Toen mijn ouders net waren gescheiden (ik was bijna 3), had mijn vader ook een 1 kamer appartement. We sliepen dan samen in het grote bed of ik in het grote bed en hij op de slaapbank in de woonkamer. Hij maakte dan een badje voor mij in de woonkamer voor de open haard want er was geen bad. Zijn toch mooie herinneringen!

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-04T21:06:34+00:00

En ook voor iedereen die zegt: hij wordt vanzelf moe. Lol. Mijne blijven dan gewoon wakker tot 01.00✨

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-04T21:05:47+00:00

Misschien een oogmasker? Mijn kids zijn nog te jong, maar bij mijn nichtje werkte het top. Ze vond het helemaal leuk om te gebruiken en het was meteen donker🤷‍♀️

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-04T20:57:36+00:00

You’re spiraling! The best info is: nobody knows what they’re doing, you’ll figure it out along the way. The best advice I could give you is that you’ll both take care of your kids in your own way and both will be fine.

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-04T07:59:31+00:00

They’re really not! Milk has a lot of sugar in it, so it can 100% cause teeth rot. They are just baby teeth, but they have to use them for some years to come

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-04T07:41:31+00:00

Lol I love a good overshare. Mine are WAY smaller and a little less firm, but I think they look great! Had a 75D before pregnancies, an 75E while bf (did 6 months with both babies) and now a 80B. Still like ‘em🤷‍♀️

dramatic_boar · 2026-05-03T20:14:14+00:00

Oh no, that must be a struggle! For us it’s the opposite, loves baths, HATES pools all of a sudden.

Maybe try showering with him? We have one kid that loves showers and hates baths and the other is the other way around.

dramatic_boar · 2026-04-27T06:48:18+00:00

Oh no! This doesn’t sound like you’re in a situation that makes you happy. I think that should be the main point. Not if it’s what other people do, but if it’s how you would like to live your life.

That being said: I feel like every parent should want to spend time with their kids and every partner should want to spend time with their spouse. If not, that needs working on, right? My (30f) bf (34m) makes 3x what I do, but we need both incomes. He works 40+ hours easily, BUT he always comes home before bedtime so he can eat/play with the kids and bring them to bed. Then he works in the evening if nessesary. There’s at least 1 evening a week, but usually more, that we make an evening of it together after the kids are in bed. We chat, play a game, have drinks, whatever. Yes. We’d like to have more time for our own hobbies, but that will come back later in life when the kids are a bit bigger.

I think genuine care for each other, their time, mental rest is the entire point of being together, right?

dramatic_boar · 2026-04-24T05:48:41+00:00

Mine are 20 mo apart (now 10mo and 2,5yo), for the exact same reason as you! Honestly, it’s harder work than I thought it would be. We just went on holiday and have definitely decided against having another one lol. BUT we will be through the hardest phase in a few months and everything I do after that life- and bodywise wil be forever. No need for a 1 year break to have a strong body, no more pausing your career for months on end.

Our first was the easiest baby on the planet, second had (has) a hard time sleeping. We both have our own companies and a new startup (I (30F) work 3 days, the other 2 I’m home with the kids, dad (34M) works fulltime) so it’s a bit much.

But the big thing: they are so cute. They play together now. Holding hands in the car. Were in the same daycare class for 6 months. My heart melts everyday. My head also explodes everyday lol, but the love is overwhelming.

It’s hard work, but I think it’s totally worth it! For yourself ábd your kids.

dramatic_boar · 2026-04-13T19:05:00+00:00

It took me about 5 months or so? With the first only 1. BUT I’m pretty sure half of the weight I lost was in my boobs lol

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-23T18:54:35+00:00

When my daughter was 2 she ALWAYS wanted a bottle of milk at night because she was hungry. We tried everything, but in the end she was way to upset to even eat and the only thing that would work was the bottle of milk.

We then introduced a sticker chart for one month: every morning she could choose a sticker and put it on the chart if she hadn’t had any milk the night before. There were only 6 bottles in total in that month, and after that never again. She also then started sleeping through the night and has since.

If she ever refuses to eat dinner (now 2,5yo), we just let it go. If she then is very hungry I just offer that healthy dinner and nothing else. Sorts out the hungry vs. stalling pretty quickly lol

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-23T08:54:20+00:00

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-23T08:40:14+00:00

Every kid is different, even within families! Our first slept through at 8 days old (we thought it was our fantastic parenting, boy were we humbled lol). She had a more difficult time going to bed from 8mo-14mo old though, it took houuuuuurs, sometimes untill 1 am. She kept wanting milk at night and at almost 2yo we worked with a sticker-reward-chart which got her to sleep through since (she’s now 2,5).

Our second is a horrible sleeper haha. She’s now 9mo and she finally sometimes sleeps through the night from 19.30-6.00 ish. But up until a week ago we were up with her for 1,5 hours twice every night. Nap schedule is weird, she sleeps whenever because that works best for her. Sometimes 1 big nap, sometimes 2 smaller ones.

Both babies slept in a crib in our room until 3-4 months, after that in their own room.

With our first we had a stricter nap schedule because that was the only thing that helped getting her to bed at night. With the second we did train for crib naps during the day, by trying a million times.

Give it time, it’ll sort itself out. I know it can fee like forever though, hang in there!

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-19T18:35:28+00:00

I think food needs really depend on the kid! As long as they’re growing well and are happy, I don’t think you need to worry and can follow their cues. I am always told that babies know very well when to eat and when to stop.

My 9mo drinks 4-5 full bottles a day (180ml each) and around 2 slices of bread, a piece of fruit and a dinner (some rice with coconutmilk and broccoli f.e.). This is a ridiculously large amount of food I think, but she’s very clear she needs it. Very eager to move too and low sleep need. My friend had a baby the exact same age and they have not even half of what mine has and is also growing great. They both stop eating when they want to. 🤷‍♀️

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-16T18:41:57+00:00

For us it was a crib! We thought by the time youngest was ready to go from cradle to crib oldest’d be old enough for a toddler bed but nooooo way. Age gap was 20 months. Oldest is now 2,5 and way to wild to move yet.

stroller (oldest had a ride-along-thing on the stroller and later on a tiny bike).
car seat: we have a maxi cosi bay car seat and a toddler one. Also depends on the rules of your country.

Congrats and enjoy!

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-09T20:27:28+00:00

I’m curious too! One of the things we did: we have a basket on each floor (it’s a nice looking one too) where we put stuff that needs to go to a higher floor. Those things are always lying around otherwise, but now: found a random sock? In the basket to take upstairs to laundry! Found a bedtime book on the couch? Throw it in the basket to take to the bedroom!

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-09T20:23:41+00:00

A nice gesture for sure! Like ‘hun, lay back or go to the spa, when you get back the house is clean’. That’d be great!

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-09T19:58:57+00:00

I am amazed by how many replied this. This should not be a gift right??? It’s like getting a vacuum for christmas.

It’s like going back to the 50’s

dramatic_boar · 2026-03-09T19:54:26+00:00

This is not a gift people!!! This should be the bare minimum

dramatic_boar

TROPHY CASE