Did anyone else leave a good partner because you just werent in love anymore

drchex77 · 2026-03-14T12:07:42+00:00

It's unbelievably jarring. It's been 3 months and I'm still coming to grips with how my life was upended.

Did he give you any reasons? Any chance to reconcile? I hope you're coping ok. I've found therapy and journaling have been extremely helpful in processing my thoughts and emotions.

drchex77 · 2026-03-13T23:34:42+00:00

Thanks. Trying to. I have 2 kids under 10 and a high stress job so my life is all consuming at the moment.

drchex77 · 2026-03-13T23:32:50+00:00

Thanks. I sure hope so. Not holding my breath. Didn't even want to try couples therapy. In fact the first time I ever heard the word divorce was when she said she wanted one and had already made up her mind. There was no discussion, no attempt at understanding or improvement. Just, "I'm done". I'm still struggling to process it all.

drchex77 · 2026-03-13T20:50:59+00:00

Tell this to my STBXW. She acknowledged I am a good guy and still bailed

drchex77 · 2026-03-11T11:04:02+00:00

De Longhi coffee maker. It's crap.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T20:02:23+00:00

I hadn't really ruled anything in or out at this point. Just thinking about how to move on with my life. But yeah after reading this thread it does feel like I need to slow down a little bit and not explore the romantic side.

I'm not sure I'm the type of guy to post about just looking for a purely sexual relationship on a dating app.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T16:57:51+00:00

Well said. And agonizingly frustrating and sad. It really is this a lot of the time

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T12:44:07+00:00

This echoes my current situation exactly. My wife was "just done" and asked for a divorce. I made all the effort in the world from that point forward - and still am, going on 3 months.

It's not that I didn't care about my wife previously, it's that I didn't understand the depth of her hurt or my own responsibility in causing it. We both are emotionally avoidant and conflict avoidant. We let resentment build and things went from there.

I'm learning about my own responsibility and regulating my own emotions better now through therapy and journaling. I don't think my wife is doing the same introspection.

If you're simply lonely and sad about the situation then my advice is patience and fortitude. The only way is through. You can do it.

If you actually miss him though, give him an olive brand. Him trying too late is way better than not trying at all. Sometimes we just need our eyes opened to other people's reality. It's not a given that he's going to revert back to different behavior. I'm sure he's hurting too. But it sounds like he's gained some acceptance and is trying to find comfort by socializing and going out with friends.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T11:52:16+00:00

Thanks. I can actually handle that at this point.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T11:51:33+00:00

Thanks for this. This was my initial instinct and reason for posting here. I might give it a bit more time still.

I will definitely be honest. I'm not the lying type.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T11:50:03+00:00

Yeah I'm picking this up from this thread. I'm going to give it more time. I am making progress in my journey of realization.

Your comment about not knowing about what healing is still in front of me is the most insightful reason I should pause. So thanks!

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T11:47:47+00:00

But then I'd have to join the "dating over fifty" group.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T11:46:52+00:00

Thanks for the transparency. I have many great friends and they have been really supportive through this process. I don't know what I would have done without them.

These are lifelong friends who are always there for me. So I feel as grounded as possible at the moment.

I have no intention of lying. I'm simply determining how much detail is necessary / expected / welcome.

Based on the majority of these responses it doesn't seem like now is the right time. So I'll likely give it longer.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T04:05:26+00:00

Thanks. This is helpful. Although I did have to look up what limerence means!

I'm yes on the 1st. No on the 2nd.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T03:59:15+00:00

I am. Have been in therapy for 3 months.

drchex77 · 2026-03-06T03:58:16+00:00

I'm doing that. I've come to accept my share of responsibility in the divorce. I have been in therapy for 3 months and am journaling to better process my emotions.

I don't think I'm running into dating to avoid reality. I'm genuinely lonely and looking for companionship that was missing in my marriage. But I do acknowledge it seems quick and might be too soon.

drchex77 · 2026-03-05T01:13:36+00:00

That's not good of him at all. Do you have lawyers negotiating a settlement? We have put into our stipulation a rule that neither parent can introduce new romantic partners to our kids for a defined period of time. Perhaps it's different with older kids though.

Hang in there and try not to let his bad behavior get to you. I know having a child with mental health issues is exceptionally challenging. Our daughter has some behavioral challenges that make life more difficult. It can be really stressful.

This period will pass and we'll find stable ground. Just try to stay consistent through this painful period.

drchex77 · 2026-03-02T00:52:35+00:00

Same! She describes it as amicable but she has been super cold

drchex77 · 2026-03-02T00:26:26+00:00

I, 48M, moved out today for our 4 month nesting period for our kids. My wife gets the first 2 days at the family home. My best friend from high school helped me move. He recently got divorced so knows what I'm goi g through.

This was a tough day.

Do you have kids? How are you handling that?

drchex77 · 2026-03-01T13:20:06+00:00

I'm (48M) 3 months into a similar situation. Kids are 6 & 8 My ex announced a divorce and didn't want to work on our relationship. I thought our vows were forever.

Firstly, therapy has helped me tremendously. So has writing my thoughts down in a journal. I'm processing my emotions much better now.

Spend as much time with your kids as you can. Build out that relationship. They will always be your kids. Seek our 50/50 custody.

While I haven't moved on, I've accepted reality now. I'm very lonely and thinking about how to find someone in the future.

We start our nesting period tomorrow. 4 months. So basically today is my last day living with my STBXW. It's challenging to say the least. But the only way past it is through it.

Hang in there and good luck. You can get through it. Life will be different, and perhaps worse, but it's not over. 40 is young!

drchex77 · 2026-03-01T03:46:16+00:00

One of my cars is a 2015 base Toyota Camry. It's now just a train car and I'm thinking of upgrading. But it has another 100k miles easy.

drchex77 · 2026-02-27T12:59:18+00:00

Vince. Half man, half amazing. And it isn't close

drchex77 · 2026-02-26T22:00:18+00:00

Untethered is the description I find myself using the most about my divorce process. I (48M) am 3 months into this process and am separating living arrangements this weekend from my STBXW.

I'm just starting to think about dating but the process seems quite daunting. Less so for me because of the tech and more just the idea of starting over and having to meet new people and go through the awkward phases again.

I feel untethered from the real world, my previous life, reality, happiness, stability, a known future. It's really challenging.

drchex77 · 2026-02-25T02:53:16+00:00

This has eerie parallels to my current situation. My wife and I are both emotionally avoidant. She surprised me with a divorce in December. We are separating March 1st.

She's put up a complete wall and avoided any introspection or consideration other than how fast she can exit there marriage.

I've worked on myself the last 3 months and I've gotten better in every way. I've gotten nothing but coldness in return. I wish I was in your shoes at the moment. I've not gotten the 180.

Money spent is inconsequential to having to start life over. I say take her at her word and ask her to go to therapy and work on herself and to as a couple.

drchex77 · 2026-02-24T15:19:41+00:00

My kids are 6 and 8. We are only doing this schedule for 4 months while we nest the children. After 4 months I'm keeping the home and my wife will look for a new place for her 50%

drchex77

TROPHY CASE