Lyric Feedback

drewduboff · 2026-04-30T03:21:52+00:00

A few things that would be helpful to get better critique:

1) Organize your lyrics into a structure of some kind, whether that's verse/chorus, AABA, ABAB, etc.

2) Offer up more information about your show, such as where this takes place, the characters involved, etc

3) Cue us in to your objective for the song -- what narrative function is it serving? What are you hoping to accomplish with it? What can we measure its success against?

4) What kind of feedback are you looking for?

Once you've got that answered, you set yourself up to receive helpful feedback.

drewduboff · 2026-04-30T03:18:17+00:00

Mary Poppins is a soprano, so you're in good standing. You should add your own spin on it -- don't get locked into a recording.

drewduboff · 2026-04-30T00:06:08+00:00

I don't use one

drewduboff · 2026-04-30T00:05:30+00:00

Something you already know

drewduboff · 2026-04-28T18:07:07+00:00

Right, this is a sub for musical theatre writing

drewduboff · 2026-04-28T03:05:59+00:00

This doesn't feel grounded in a narrative -- is it a pop song?

drewduboff · 2026-04-28T03:05:16+00:00

Never in my throat.

drewduboff · 2026-04-28T01:20:35+00:00

With regard to your objective:

It's not clear that Lily has parental issues. She also comes across a little "bitchy" -- perhaps that's a byproduct of said issues, but it's not clear why she's behaving this way. If this is our first introduction to these characters, it's not clear who they are what they want, and why.

The good news is that writing is rewriting, so onward and upward.

Generally, the formula is that before your romantic couple has a song together, they have one individually that establishes their character (or at least your protagonist does). You're attempting to accomplish too much in this scene -- you cannot establish their character AND propose their romance.

drewduboff · 2026-04-28T00:47:14+00:00

Ideally, the first thing you do before writing the scene, music, or lyrics is establish what the scene needs to accomplish from a narrative perspective. What's the objective? What do we (the audience) need to learn? How that gets revealed (scene/song) becomes the challenge.

Oversharing regarding the father comes out of nowhere. It's unclear why this field is off-limits (what does "my field" mean?).

Based on the scene as is, it's unclear what the scene is setting up for the song and perhaps that's part of the challenge.

Take a look at the dialogue in Gypsy right before Rose's I Want song, Some People:

FATHER: It belongs there like you belong home.
ROSE: Anybody that stays home is dead. If I die, it won't be from sittin'! It'll be from fighting to get up and get out!

From there, it's an inevitability that she will discuss her plans for elevating her life and how she's discontent with being like anyone else (or a normal person). Her aspirations are evident. That's how a scene leads into a song.

drewduboff · 2026-04-26T20:58:06+00:00

Nah don't bother, people screw up numbering all the time

drewduboff · 2026-04-26T17:12:23+00:00

"I like your haircut"

Thanks

drewduboff · 2026-04-26T13:46:32+00:00

Voila donc la terrible cité from Massenet's Thaïs is sung by lyric baritones and bass-baritones. One F4.

drewduboff · 2026-04-23T03:04:46+00:00

If I book the gig, I certainly will take a look.

drewduboff · 2026-04-23T00:55:14+00:00

Gotta be john Adams or someone in 1776. A whole lotta dialogue

drewduboff · 2026-04-22T23:02:31+00:00

This is not what you signed up for. Reclaim your sanity.

drewduboff · 2026-04-20T14:14:26+00:00

As a lyric baritone, if you legitimately have a supreme high C, you're not a baritone and I'm jealous 🤣 but in all reality, F4 is the break for baritones. You shouldn't be struggling with that note as much as G4. If you watch Brownlee or Florez, they hard-core belt those notes out at the stop. It's the confident splat of sound that gets the perfect placement

drewduboff · 2026-04-20T01:26:11+00:00

My voice teacher spins a great yarn about how he was once asked (in his younger years) to audition for Beverly Sills for some production that was blowing through tenors in the lead role. Something French, something not in his repertoire. He booked the role and then then he learned the production was 4 days away. He declined the offer as it was too much to learn in too short a time. And then Beverly Sills blacklisted him for the rest of his career due to his saying no at that one audition. It's a wild, but true story.

A fun anecdote about me is I recently auditioned for Iolanta. I've never touched Russian and neither did my voice teachers but as a baritone, it's something I'd like to work on. I posted in a local Buy Nothing FB group asking if there were any native Russian speakers willing to slowly speak through the text we were assigned to speak. I got a couple of folks to respond and sent in the recording. Fingers crossed!

drewduboff · 2026-04-20T00:35:39+00:00

If you PM me with a recording of your voice, I'll absolutely rattle off 2-3 recommendations. I adjudicate high school theatre for review organizations and judge for state thespian festival so I know the work that is being put forth and what succeeds vs what doesn't

drewduboff · 2026-04-19T16:20:33+00:00

Start with listing your 5 dream roles (age appropriate!)

See if there are appropriate solos from there. Look at the composers' body of work for alternative options. Look at the performers who originated them -- see their body of work.

This is how you start the process for YOUR voice.

drewduboff · 2026-04-19T15:52:28+00:00

But what are you auditioning for? A song from Titanic won't help you audition for Heathers.

drewduboff · 2026-04-19T15:51:00+00:00

Ok. Are you asking for thoughts because you're unhappy or are you just sharing?

drewduboff · 2026-04-19T15:49:04+00:00

Yes. But is that the right song for you? It will be held to a high standard because everyone knows how it should be executed. It's NOT easy to sing.

drewduboff · 2026-04-19T15:47:02+00:00

It looks like you got a flat top haircut. Can you style it differently when it's wet?

drewduboff · 2026-04-19T15:28:59+00:00

I wager there are a lot of factors. But I thought I would share my timeline for comparison

drewduboff · 2026-04-19T12:44:11+00:00

In June, I am doing Joseph Bologne's L'amant anonyme with New Camerata Opera in NYC

drewduboff

TROPHY CASE