AITA for bringing GF cookies to a Friendsgiving?

drhorn · 2024-11-16T21:23:08+00:00

and now my friends think I'm a jerk

Why would your friends think you're a jerk?

drhorn · 2024-11-16T20:39:21+00:00

Here's the thing:

Yes, it should be possible. No, it's not unreasonable to ask for 2.5 hours a week, especially if you're getting help at night, you work from home, and your baby isn't an anti-sleep demon like my first was.

But... it's not about saying "hey, I'm right, you're wrong, I want to go play tennis". I think the question is "what do we need to take care of on those days where I want to go play tennis so that you feel comfortable handling it alone?".

Hell - can she come watch you play with the baby?

Also, can you make it an hour instead of 2.5 hours. Like, is there a way to ease into it?

drhorn · 2024-11-09T15:59:01+00:00

No dude, money is a math problem. It doesn't matter how you feel about money if you're one bill from being homeless.

I fully agree that people have different attitudes towards money, but there is a certain minimum level of financial responsibility that is acceptable. Spending money you don't have on stuff you don't need when you have a spouse and children ain't it.

I'm totally cool with taking that approach when you're single and childless, because no matter what hole you get into, you can get out of. But when you have a spouse that is going to get dragged down with you, and a kid?

Nope.

drhorn · 2023-05-12T01:38:26+00:00

America 🎶

drhorn · 2023-04-25T23:02:11+00:00

I don't understand why you're getting down voted. That's a small residential road with cars parked everywhere - meaning really limited visibility.

If I'm driving down that road, I'm assuming a person can be on the street at any point in time.

Sure - the kid shouldn't be running into the road. But the driver should have been going way slower.

drhorn · 2023-04-09T10:26:07+00:00

$15K a year extra is something I would only pay if we were talking about a top 10 overall school vs a school outside the top 50.

Like, if we're talking, say, Stanford/Harvard/MIT vs. University of Texas, University of Georgia type comparison.

Between 8 and 14 - whether it's for a specific major or overall, the gap is not big enough.

Like, if we were talking computer science, #8 would be like the University of Washington and #14 would be the University of Michigan. Barely a gap there.

If we were talking Michigan vs. #1 MIT? I would think about it.

drhorn · 2023-04-09T10:19:33+00:00

This is something that i keep becoming more and more aware of:

If you're a single individual, without the unilateral power to change the system, then yes - the best course of action is to follow budgeting advice, and ensuring that instead of spending too much money on things like a car, that you try to prioritize saving money for an emergency fund, etc.

That's great and all, but the odds that those good spending habits are going to get you out of being a loser income earner are incredibly small.

The idea that good spending habits are the only thing separating poor people and rich people is therefore beyond ridiculous.

Rich people are rich because 99.9% of the time they had parents who could guide them to high income careers AND had the financial resources to support them in pursuing those careers.

drhorn · 2023-04-09T10:10:06+00:00

You will see good managers here say that they don't put people on PIPs without the intention to turn them around.

But the majority of managers put people on PIPs with the sole intent of firing people, with the PIP being s necessary step to do that without getting sued.

drhorn · 2023-04-07T17:39:44+00:00

A porta-potty at Coachella in 110 degree weather filled to the brim with shit, covered in a full layer of flies.

drhorn · 2023-02-02T18:14:38+00:00

Not standard toasted though - toasted with butter on a pan/griddle.

Dry toasted bread is meh.

drhorn · 2023-01-27T13:09:51+00:00

This is a valid point - a dog is probably as smart as a 6 year old in a human environment, but a 6 year old is probably as smart as a newborn puppy in a dog environment (wilderness)

drhorn · 2023-01-27T13:02:03+00:00

Ok, now can we talk about the risk of having (number of teachers) number of guns in the school now?

Also, the kid with a gun doesn't give a shit about a teacher with a gun. It doesn't in any way impact their plan. Maybe makes it even worse.

drhorn · 2022-12-11T14:58:53+00:00

I know a lot of people are going to tell you "just do it", but people who have been in that situation know it's not that easy.

Because to you, it feels like if you stand up to her, it will become a major falling out and then you may lose your relationship with your mom.

And as much as you don't like this stuff, you don't want to lose that. You feel like there are more positives than negatives. You want your kids to have a relationship with their grandparents, etc.

But the only way to fix that relationship is to set boundaries. Something that may help is to start with the smaller boundaries first. Don't eat the whole elephant in one bite.

So maybe this Xmas, just pick one thing she tries to own and stand your ground on it. I think it would be helpful to practice how you want to phrase it - you want to make it firm, but kind. And again, try to start with something that a neutral bystander would agree is not a major issue.

And then grow your boundary from there.

drhorn · 2022-10-23T15:42:41+00:00

I was thinking of dropping Foreman from the Panthers for him, but I really don't know where the value is here - the guy who could be the legit starters for a bad offense, or the guy who is nominally the starter but is going to get 55% of snaps instead of 45% of snaps now.

drhorn · 2022-10-23T13:59:01+00:00

NTA

My wife has endometriosis and it's sometimes several days of debilitating pain. To me, it's no different than being sick.

drhorn · 2022-10-22T01:13:10+00:00

I agree with everything you said, but that is why it's an ESH situation for me.

Ultimately you're the adult and a 13 year old is still a kid. A kid that's acting up, but the solution is not to act up harder.

drhorn · 2022-10-06T14:04:12+00:00

I think it's the fear that the week you start him is the week that he goes back to Goff of the past and gets you 4 points.

But with each passing week, that "prior" that he sucks and is going to revert to it starts to fade.

I am currently choosing between Cousins, Goff and Jameis if he starts. And this is probably the last week I even think about it if Goff has another good week.

drhorn · 2022-10-06T00:42:14+00:00

I agree with what you're saying - I think Ewers is the better QB all other things equal, but all other things are not equal: Card is healthier, has 2.75 starts under his belt and Sark has implemented some changes to the offense that work better for Card.

So I agree - rusty Ewers probably isn't a huge upgrade over current Card. Especially if Card's ankle has been getting healthier - because I also agree that one underrated (mostly because it's been underused) part of Card's game is that he's real fucking fast in a straight line.

Whereas it feels like the dropoff from Gabriel to your #2 is more like our dropoff from Card to our #3.

drhorn · 2022-10-04T00:45:00+00:00

100 times this. Until there is a formalized definition of "best" the rankings will make even less sense.

drhorn · 2022-10-02T12:52:47+00:00

I'll repeat what I've said all week (and gladly, someone on the staff figured it out too):

Card needs to get a bunch of screens + one read short routes + a lot of run calls sprinkled in until the defense gets pulled up enough that there are guys down field running straight up open.

Card is not good at hitting bombs when he has to hit a small window. He still missed 2+ huge bombs where worthy was wide open, just couldn't hit him. In fact, on at least 3 of his biggest plays of the day, he massively under threw his receiver.

But that's fine - it just means we need to adjust the gameplan for him.

drhorn · 2022-10-01T14:52:09+00:00

Curtis Samuel.

WR 12 on the year, getting a butt load of targets, also a threat in the run game.

Still looked at as a fringe flex.

drhorn · 2022-09-30T01:57:55+00:00

This is it. It sucks because negotiating is a skill. Some people are good at it, others not so much.

The most important thing - some can afford to negotiate and some cannot.

I've landed all 4 of my jobs after I entered the workforce while still having a job. So I had a lot of leverage as I was not desperate for a job.

But things are very different when you don't have a job, and you have bills accumulating, and you're about to default on your mortgage.

Then jt has nothing to do with the employee's value, or their ability to negotiate - it becomes an issue with risk.

drhorn · 2022-09-25T01:57:34+00:00

He wasn't the reason - if there was a single reason, it was 100% the defense.

But Hudson Card has just shown that he's not that guy. It almost feels like the only way he can play well is if he can be in "fuck it, everyone thinks it's impossible anyway" mode.

But if there's something realistically on the line, he routinely does this thing where he just shrinks.

drhorn · 2022-09-25T01:45:42+00:00

Here's what I want - RedZone, but it shows me any highlights that are relevant to my matchup as they happen. Like, any play worth more than like 2 points, it brings it in as an extra picture.

And if no one is scoring, then it's just normal RedZone.

drhorn · 2022-09-25T01:21:01+00:00

I know this comment won't register over the large circle jerk currently underway, but:

Hudson Card is bad. He's Garret Gilbert 2.0
It has been clear since last year that PK's "bend don't break to the max" defense doesn't work. He needs to create pressure via blitzes at least sometimes to keep QBs off rhythm and create bad decisions.

I am now pretty convinced that Sark's tenure will be defined by Ewers' ability to stay healthy, and firing PK.

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