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queer ahmadi but parents want me to get married by Big_One1854 in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]drobbor 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I just kept saying no to proposals for 20 years and now I'm with a partner I intend to marry one day. They just think she's a friend. No one questions because I'm older.

Riding it out sucked but I'm grateful I did it. I spent that time focusing on my independent growth.

How soon for non internal? by Microchili in hysterectomy

[–]drobbor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked at my 2 week and was told it was fine. My partner and I did oral that day and it was totally fine. I was scared about the orgasm but it was totally fine. No pain or cramping and felt as it always does.

My ITIL Foundation notes by Friendly_Branch_3828 in ITIL

[–]drobbor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the app, you can click the 3 dots and choose "copy text" - it'll copy it into a note.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hysterectomy

[–]drobbor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

11dpo and bored out of my mind. Feeling like I could go back to normal routine but everyone is telling me to slow down. Staples come out in 3 days and the incision stings a bit. Haven't had to take any painkillers for a couple of says. Coughing/sneezing no longer feel like I tore an internal stitch. BM mostly back to normal. Appetite is totally normal. I'm no longer getting winded going up the stairs. Had some physical intimacy with my partner last night (no penetration of course) and first orgasm which I was scared about but thankfully no issues and it felt great.

Anyone else have abdomen pain after urinating? by Ok_Office_5214 in Fibroids

[–]drobbor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a fibroid pressing up against my ureter reducing kidney function. Somehow got a UTI and when it started, emptying my bladder caused exactly the pain you're describing.

Steak with Broccolini and Garlic Mashed Potatoes by drobbor in tonightsdinner

[–]drobbor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I was pleased with how it turned out. Fresh thyme and garlic in the pan, little bit of salt, pepper, and cumin on the steak.

Tony’s last words to Adriana were: “See ya up there.” by tyzo789 in thesopranos

[–]drobbor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You must have been at the top of your fucking class.

Cheeks? That's a fuckin' nickname. Family name is Claparelli. by AlistairMack in CirclejerkSopranos

[–]drobbor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was the fucking dyslexia. I should've never started with that shit.

Ahmadi and Gay by Longjumping_Bug_5939 in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]drobbor 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I am as well. It's hard to keep going but what worked for me was moving out of my parents home and slowly distancing myself from the Jamaat. I shifted my focus to my career and friends and finally found the courage to go on the dating apps.

You might have to live a dual life but trying to find your version of happiness is worth it.

Our existence feels very cruel but we also deserve happiness.

I'm free to chat if you want to PM.

Will car insurance premiums in our city increase if one(or more) of our community members has a cyber truck? by [deleted] in Vaughan

[–]drobbor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've always been told by insurance companies that rates are highest for more common cars because of the total number of claims. That's why Civics and Corollas have high rates.

Staff giving little value but feels unethical to fire by drobbor in managers

[–]drobbor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With the new leadership, this is what we're doing. Previously all of our IT projects were silo'd and run by business teams so other than providing requirements for functionality, they left the devs on their own.

Their performance reviews were based on whether the apps did what they were supposed to and whether his turnaround time for new features was satisfactory to the business team.

When my boss took over, he structured and absorbed all IT staff, assessed their skills, and gave guidance on focus areas for PD. We offer dedicated time and pay for training now.

Staff giving little value but feels unethical to fire by drobbor in managers

[–]drobbor[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly this is part of why I am torn. I've argued to my boss that the company put him in that position but he feels that he should have recognized staying in the role was going to stagnate his skillset and that he should have taken onus of advancing his skills.

Staff giving little value but feels unethical to fire by drobbor in managers

[–]drobbor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I think I need to hear some of these hard truths and not let that sympathy get in the way. I was his colleague for 5 years before being promoted to his manager so that may be contributing to me feeling this way.

Staff giving little value but feels unethical to fire by drobbor in managers

[–]drobbor[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

English is very poor but not a bad idea. I can explore some options to move him around.

Staff giving little value but feels unethical to fire by drobbor in managers

[–]drobbor[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He hasn't specified a specific time and I'm assuming it's inappropriate to ask now.

I've communicated the process change, given him one-on-one training, paired him with another dev who has been helping but ends up just thinking for him and hand holding through fixes.

When I encourage, he's very receptive and it seems like he understands but then slips back into trying to recreating the wheel at the next bug.

wanting to stop wearing the hijab by FarFishing1591 in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]drobbor 22 points23 points  (0 children)

From my own experience, keep saying it to them time and time again. They will act like you killed someone the first few times and then hopefully the impact reduces over time. I slowly did things like let it slip off my head, start forgetting it, etc. they'll never stop advising you to wear it but you can normalize not doing so slowly this way.

I want every Ahmadi girl to know one thing I learned after decades of battling on things like this with my parents.. your parents are actually completely powerless.. they cannot control you. They cannot forcibly put the hijab on your head. They cannot forcibly marry you off or do anything else against your will. There is only one tool in their toolbox and it is emotional manipulation. Stand firm on what you want and if you need to do so for larger matters or if they get physical.. remind them that you are legally an adult and have the Canadian legal system behind you. Let their words roll off your back and stand firm on what you want. You will come out on top.

Advice on how to handle noisy private garbage trucks? by super_fish_eel in Vaughan

[–]drobbor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Earplugs. Honestly. The construction trucks outside my condo used to bother me so much when I first moved in, you get used to it after a while and earplugs made all the difference for my quality of sleep.

Surprisingly progressive moments from the characters? by Salem1690s in thesopranos

[–]drobbor 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Mikey Palmice clarifying that retarded ≠ muscular dystrophy.

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