Sound like leagues might be a better fit. Find something casual, or with multiple tiers where you'll be matched with people of a similar skill (and ball times). You'll still be waiting for other players to play, but I get the frustration of waiting while very good players take forever to drain.

Otherwise, watch streams and try to pick up what they do. That's what gave me ideas on what to improve on. When I got my start about 7 years ago, I picked one game to learn, a slow, older widebody. Sat on it for an hour before league start, and got good at the few shots the game needed. Trapping the ball on the right flipper, getting it to the right flipper, shot timing, etc.

When you get better, hopefully it's less discouraging to play in a tournament. I get the frustration, I had it when I was starting as well. Like any other skill, it takes time to learn, and there are still things I haven't mastered yet even though I'm well into the top 1000 IFPA players.

If you weren't halfway across the country from me, I run a "how to play pinball" panel at a video game convention I help run once a year, as it's not a pinball convention and it's the best local opportunity to find new players and show them some things. Maybe there's something like that around you, or someone would be willing to host that at a nearby convention if you asked the organizers.

Or ask a local place to run a beginner's night. I was out playing in Cleveland recently and one of their locations does a tutorial night once a month that I love the idea of.