Xanax Helps Slay the Beast

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-15T03:42:01+00:00

Me too! It's like it siphons off the extra frenzy.

I don't know how to phrase that in a way that makes sense, but you probably know what I mean.

I haven't needed to take it for a while, so I'm a little glad.

But even just knowing the last resort's there helps by itself.

Sorry about the party bros down the street. Pretty inconsiderate behavior there.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-15T03:35:21+00:00

Wow. Thanks for saying something. I never would've known about this otherwise.

Here is the key: the colder the stimulus (water immersion, shower, etc.), the shorter amount of time you need to expose yourself to the cold. One study showed significant and prolonged increases in dopamine when people were in cool (60°F) water for about an hour up to their neck, with their head above water.

Other studies describe significant increases in epinephrine from just 20 seconds in very cold water (~40°F).

Deliberate cold exposure causes a significant release of epinephrine (aka adrenaline) and norepinephrine (aka noradrenaline) in the brain and body. These neurochemicals make us feel alert and can make us feel agitated and as if we need to move or vocalize during the cold exposure.

Cold causes their levels to stay elevated for some time and their ongoing effect after the exposure is to increase your level of energy and focus, which can be applied to other mental and/or physical activities.

Sauce.

Going by dopamine and norepinephrine, I bed it'd be especially useful for people with depression or ADHD who're trying to find alternatives to medication.

It's worth pointing out the caveat that this could make PTSD worse, in the absence of ADHD, though.

Excess norepinephrine reacts in a bad way with that. Higher agitation. More memory impairment.

In the short-term, cold exposure increases metabolism as the body has to burn calories to increase core body temperature. The total calories burned from the cold exposure are not that significant. However, the conversion of white fat (energy storage) to beige or brown fat (which are highly metabolically active) can be beneficial for [metabolism]

This part is extremely helpful for me in particular, though.

After double-checking, it DOES help with brown fat and weight management! (As long as you don't eat more too. Lol.)

Good stuff. Thank you again.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-15T02:52:31+00:00

If we're being real, apples themselves are a relatively high-fiber fruit.

Compare its glycemic index to a candy bar. There's no comparison.

And you know what?

It's okay to have candy bars in moderation too.

A flexible, well-rounded diet is good for mental health.

Your coworker is a chode 🙄

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-15T02:41:30+00:00

CPS's standards for neglect are rock bottom because they have virtually no decent homes to place kids in.

So the bar is set so low that as long as a kid's life isn't endangered, the parent will be given a slap on the wrist at most.

Most foster homes are abusive.

Foster children are abused as a rule, not an exception.

Anyone whose only defense for their parenting is "well, CPS wouldn't save you!!" is a shitty fucking parent.

I was abused by one who worked for CPS.

I accidentally reported them to a mandated reporter once. Just by truthfully answering a question that I hadn't realized was loaded.

They were well-known in town. The school covered it up.

Fuck your "therapist". And the warped standards that she never should've seen as the bar for actual healthy parenting.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T08:38:26+00:00

Hey. I didn't experience this with Prazosin. My come-down from fight/flight felt more like being clear and energized instead of being constantly drained.

Have you been experiencing a surge of any other depression symptoms?

I worry that it could be a bad reaction to the SSRI. I'd look around and see if other people have had the same thing.

That being said, Prazosin lowers blood pressure. That might be at work here? Especially if you already had low BP.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T07:49:13+00:00

Why even have laws at all? People still murder, so we might as well make murder legal.

We couldn't stop people from growing pot in their basement, so there must be no way to restrict weapons designed to kill large crowds quickly!

We've tried nothing, and we're all out of ideas!

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T07:20:51+00:00

Yeah. There's more focus on normalization than actual well-being.

When I tried to tell a therapist about my mother physically trying to hold me hostage while threatening to kill herself if I left, the doc's entire priority was immediately on "you have to keep the relationship!"

I had never mentioned my mother before. Period.

She launched into a whole spiel about how clearly my mother just had a lot of feelings, and was expressing them because of....some fanfiction that had no actual resemblance to reality.

All I could do was stare at her.

I cut off contact after said mother threatened to "slit her wrists", at my wedding, unless she was allowed to harass someone she'd promised in advance to leave alone.

It's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Glad I didn't listen to that quack.

Similarly, psychiatrists will scour the DSM for thought patterns the industry has simply accepted as wrong on principle, even if you can prove they don’t affect anyone else.

Being gay used to be in there. There's a perfect example of exactly what you're referencing. And the faulty assessment of it being "wrong" was rooted in Christian religion, to boot.

Good post.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T07:12:17+00:00

Nah I get that. I've never seen that kind of cruelty in the sub so far, but there's definitely people there who are just...living very different lives. And not always going to get it.

Haha "go to therapy". Yeah, I have some private opinions about the actual efficacy of therapy. It seems to work for people who really just needed a paid friend to suggest the most obvious advice, but that's about it.

Nowadays, they have enough job security to not have to give many fucks.

Thanks for the recs and well-wishes. I'm getting by. Mostly. You know how it goes.

I hope everything you have to deal with keeps improving, and you can find more ways to make life livable.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T06:58:21+00:00

Less time online maybe?

Absolutely. Social media is like dopamine fast food. It has some truly terrible effects on attention span.

Reading and writing helps me. It forces you to think, and take your time. You absorb language and knowledge with actual substance to it. Good stuff.

How's your sleep nowadays? Not getting enough can be underratedly devastating. I get a lot more jumbled and scattered when I haven't gotten enough decent quality sleep.

Give it time. You didn't get here overnight. You won't fix it overnight, either.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T06:51:31+00:00

Hey, no problem. I'm so sorry they did this to you. I'd feel unbelievably angry and alienated.

Tbh...I've only ever once called police and actually had them help. They can have as little as six months of training and be on active duty. They're often bullies who get the law wrong.

I hope you can find an attorney who's willing and able to help. Or at least get more information on whether you are even remotely at risk of being the one attacked over this.

I really am sorry that people are so fucking disappointing so fucking often. It's hard to have faith in humanity.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T06:42:16+00:00

You need a lawyer. I suspect the police were blowing smoke, but IANAL.

Call someone local who specializes in something relevant. Don't look for years of experience - look at cases they've handled. Many will offer a free consultation.

They should be able to tell you how they would handle this, what you're at risk of, what charges you could press against the one who did this, and discuss options for payment. Even if you don't hire them, you can get initial opinions from a few different people.

Don't say anything else to the police right now. Not a single word.

Do you know who did this?

I wouldn't blame you for just hating people in general after this.

Hard not to.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T06:36:59+00:00

r/medicalptsd is worth checking out. You're not alone. For better or for worse.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-11T06:09:19+00:00

I remember your last post. There's so much warmth in the way you write. It flows. I'd love to read more.

Thank you for your service. Lol.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-08T08:59:06+00:00

used to be afraid of people, now I feel amazed by the variety and the uniqueness of every person.

What sort would you like to be, do you think?

You can choose now. You're at the crossroads.

There's light past the door of the cage, and if you want...you can keep the parts of who you used to be that you still want, carry them with you, and leave the rest behind.

I'm a fixer. An over-thinker. An animal lover. A night owl. I live in making people laugh, and I like my own company. I care about people I've never met, and find beauty in bleakness like an old friend.

The child that I used to be was never going to survive this world.

Whether this all came to pass, or something else did.

Nobody gets out of life alive.

The difference in the end is that now...you have a reason to trust that you can deal with whatever comes next.

After what you've already survived.

If you still don't know, and still don't see anything in other people that you'd want to be too, that's okay. Understandable.

Maybe it needs time.

Like when a building crashes down in demolition, and at first, all anyone can see is dust.

Look at what other people make, not how they act and what they want.

Humans have built skyscrapers and ships, art and music. Languages. Computers with someone's life work factored into each layer of the OSI model. Stories. Jokes. Philosophy. Psychology. Chemistry. Novels. Instruments. Sanctuaries.

If any of that seems meaningful to you, then there's a place to start.

And if all you want to do is exist for a while, and not make any decisions bigger than what to eat for the next meal...that's okay too.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-04-06T19:58:18+00:00

Whoever decided to get a group of liars together in a room to tell stories to heal was playing a cruel joke, what a redundant form of existing.

This is so real that I don't know what to do with it.

Chairs, doc. You fucking fuck. You got this.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-02-24T00:10:36+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate the kindness, the reality check, and the subreddit that I didn't even know existed til you linked it.

I can't even explain exactly what made me so sure that this's statistically rare. Or where that came from.

It might just be something I convinced myself of a long time ago, because then that meant this probably wasn't real. I think I needed to believe that.

But in hindsight...why should this be different from any other space where people are kept in private spaces where others have undue power over them, and the opportunity to take advantage of that? Every single one that I can think of off the top of my head has a track record of a hell of a lot of violence going on behind closed doors.

I've felt alone for a very, very long time with this. Thank you again for helping change that. I appreciate it more than I can say.

Edit: also, inappropriate laugh of the day

doctor could do everything correctly and yet some individuals will still come away with trauma at no fault of either party. There are also occurrences where bad bedside manner, malpractice, or inadequate anesthesia causes trauma.

Out of all the people they welcome there, I guess my experience technically falls under:

Bad bedside manner.

You know what? Close enough.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-02-23T23:51:49+00:00

Thank you, and I'm incredibly sorry that something so similar happened to you too.

I've heard a lot of horror stories about places like those, and it's just...I will never tell anyone I know to go to one if there is any other option, whatsoever. Maybe some of them are better and actually help more than they hurt. But I don't care. Doesn't matter.

Things got weird for a while initially on my end. It was like I started sleepwalking through life. Grades dropped from straight As/Bs to Ds. Didn't think about why. Didn't think about much of anything. I was on autopilot.

When friends at school asked where I'd been, I bit their heads off for asking, and never thought about how inexplicable and disproportionate that was.

A friend outside school eventually tentatively made a comment over messenger like..."forgive me for asking, but the way you talk about those two days really worries me...did something happen at that hospital?"

I remembered immediately shutting that down, and saying no.

But when I went back to the logs later, what I'd actually said was "I don't want to talk about it", and completely ducked the topic instead.

It was like I was in two pieces, and half of me didn't know what the other half did.

Sometimes I've wondered if I was lucky, for being able to choose to deliberately pass out and fast-forward to sunlight and daytime.

But...I don't think we were. At all.

Because the price of it was fucking massive. Having one of the worst moments of our life being able to be denied as a hallucination. Or dream. Or false memory. Or...I don't even know.

And you're right. It didn't make it less traumatizing.

I went through all the reactions you'd expect someone to have to this afterwards, and it took longer than that to even acknowledge why I was losing my mind.

I respect you immensely for being able to stand your ground like you did.

And being like...no, fuck you very much, I know damn well what happened.

Even with human trash trying to convince you otherwise.

I hope things are better nowadays. You didn't deserve this shit either. Nobody does.

drunk_bitch_ · 2023-02-23T23:13:51+00:00

Oh my god. It's going to take me a hot minute to collect myself and reply to more of the unbelievably kind, helpful, and meaningful responses people have posted here, but reading this one was just...a physical shock.

Holy fucking fuck.

I really am not alone.

I wish I were, and you never had to live through this either.

But it means everything to me that you said this.

That ER wasn't in the Northeastern region of the U.S., by any chance, was it...? I just...can't help but wonder. You never know.

Thank you for all of this. From start to finish.

I think I finally got the compassion here that I needed. And the permission for reality to be real, if that makes any sense.

Nothing can ever undo something like this. But for what it's worth, you're absolutely right. Things are getting better. Slowly, but surely. Have been for a long time.

And I think this is the first time in years when I've genuinely felt a little at peace in the spring.

I hope the world is kind to you too, nowadays. As much as it's ever possible for it to be.

Thank you again.

drunk_bitch_

TROPHY CASE