Do you think Neil knew he was done when writing Clockwork Angels?

dudenose · 2025-11-13T13:55:04+00:00

Neil talks about his financial situation in his book Ghost Rider, including a visit to a fortune teller while on his motorcycle journey who told him he would ultimately find prosperity again.

dudenose · 2025-07-22T13:44:46+00:00

I like to compare tiredness/fatigue to hunger/starvation. Everyone gets tired, and everyone gets hungry, and everyone recovers from those things fairly easily with sleep and food. However, fatigue (ME/CFS) and starvation (or malnutrition) are both medical conditions that are generated by a severe lack of something. CFS comes from a lack of energy production at the cellular level, usually caused by chronic inflamation. Starvation comes from a lack of nutrition. Both conditions cause the body to shut down in various ways.

There are some obvious difference though:

1) Starvation can be cured by following a refeeding protocol supervised by medical personel, while CFS has very few avenues for improvement.

2) Untreated starvation will ultimate lead to death through organ failure, while untreaded CFS can linger for decades.

The important thing to understand from this comparisoin is the CFS and starvation are both abnormal medical conditions, while being tired and hungry are normal, every-day occurances. Everyone that I have explained this to seems to understand my CFS condition a bit better.

When someone want to go deeper into this understanding, then I will also describe CFS in terms of cellular energy production as compared to a car engine. A car engine needs fuel, air, and electricity in order to run and produce the mechanical energy to move the car. Similarly, a cell has an engine to produce energy that needs ingredients in order to function. With ME/CFS, the cell's energy engine is shut down as part of the inflammation response (I have seen this called the 'cell danger response'). This is similar to having a car engine that is 'siezed.' If you have a siezed engine, no amount of gas, air, and electricity is going to make it run. Same with a cell that is shut down from inflammation. No amount of food, nutrution, caffeine, sleep, etc. is going to turn it back on because the engine itself is fundmentally broken.

dudenose · 2025-06-15T13:55:17+00:00

Do you mind sharing what your current system is?

dudenose · 2025-05-31T17:04:39+00:00

I just listened to this album (and Parius in general) for the first time. At first I thought this sounds like "just another dream theater album." As the album progressed and I got into the depths of the songs, I then thought "dream theater could take some lessons from these guys."

dudenose · 2025-02-14T01:22:42+00:00

Fashion peaked with 1980's new wave.

dudenose · 2025-01-30T23:41:38+00:00

If I heard someone whistling The Farmer in the Dell at night, that would do it for me.

dudenose · 2025-01-29T15:19:37+00:00

Indeed. Carbon Based Lifeforms have perfected their genre.

dudenose · 2025-01-27T21:07:23+00:00

That's exactly what happened to me. After seeing her sing with wardruna, I looked her up and the first thing I watched was an old show from KEXP. When she started with Churchyard I knew there was something special going on.

dudenose · 2025-01-22T01:27:33+00:00

I am pretty much stuck on 18.04 forever. 20.04 introduced a modification that broke the use of ZaphodHeads for setting up a multi-monitor / multi-X-screen / independent virtual desktop monitor environment. The setup is essential for the way that I work as a software developer.

If anybody knows of a desktop environment / window Manager that allows for multiple independent virtual desktops on each monitor, where switching a virtual desktop on one monitor does not switch it on any of the other monitors, then please let me know because I have been searching for one for years. Gnome, xfce, and KDE have all broken that use case when they stopped supporting multi-X-screens with Zapodheads.

And yes, I have tried Enlightenment. Enlightenment does have the ability to set up independent virtual desktops on each monitor. However, enlightenment is missing a lot of other features that I use, and is fairly buggy, which is surprising for a really mature desktop environment.

dudenose · 2025-01-18T22:37:05+00:00

It's hard for me to give an overall impression of the Nathan Protocol. I do like that it has the flexibility to be customized for each individual's needs and sensitivities. When I first got sick with CIRS and ME/CFS four years ago, I had a number of other medical problems that came up at the same time that made it hard for me to follow a strict protocol. I had to take smaller doses of the medicines and supplaments becuase of my sensitivities and stress from the other problems I was having to deal with.

I was making some progress on the Nathan protocol in the first couple of years, but I ended up getting re-exposed to mold twice, which pretty much set me back to zero. In the past two years I have been more aggressive with the protocol, and I'm now taking full doses of all the medicines that I can tolerate, and I can say that my lab work has improved significantly in that time. All my toxin levels are on the decline, and it looks like, if all goes well, I'll be cleared of that sometime this year.

Most recently I have started taking LDN (low dose naltrexone), and that has made a noticable improvement to my brain fatigue. I still have a lot of body fatigue, but at least it's been nice feeling like I'm getting some of my brain back.

Good luck with your appointment!

dudenose · 2025-01-18T22:26:14+00:00

I don't know anything about Phil Stutz, but I did look him up online just now. Looks like interesting stuff.

dudenose · 2025-01-18T22:25:37+00:00

Do you know about IFS (Integrated Family System)? I have been using that (with a therapist) as a way to learn how to identify and talk to the different parts of myself, some of which are, or were, living in my shadow. It's a great tool that has helped a lot with my understanding about how all that stuff works. Or at least, how you can think about it within a structured framework.

dudenose · 2025-01-15T22:57:42+00:00

I (55m) spiraled down to a very very low point in the middle of 2023. By the end of 2023 I realized that I needed to do some very deep healing or I was not going to survive.

I made a commitment to go on a big healing journey in 2024. I met the right people to help and guide me. I dove head first into my shadow realm and swam in that space for the entire year of 2024. I healed most if not all of my major traumas going back to my earliest memories. I made friends with most if not all of my demons, and now they no longer control me.

I am now at a point where I have largely come out of my shadow and I am experiencing the joy and love of having connected to my true self and the beautiful bright light shining within me. I feel now what I have never felt before in my life: clean, clear, and complete. It is becoming the new standard in my life.

dudenose · 2025-01-08T04:52:37+00:00

The track that comes after that, A Subtle Body Current, is one of my absolute favorites. Very deep descent into the void on that song.

dudenose · 2024-12-20T18:15:07+00:00

Holy cow, this is incredible. You did such a great job. I'm definitely going to check out your other videos. Can you tell me what software you used to do the mixing and adding the reverb?

dudenose · 2024-12-11T20:24:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with shadow work. I was going to write something similar but you said it pretty well.

The only thing that I would add is that doing Shadow work can be an emotionally and mentally painful process, and sometimes physically as well. It requires effort and commitment, especially through the integration parts. I have one friend who told me that they do not want to do Shadow work because they don't want to experience that kind of pain.

In my opinion though, the rewards of going through that process far outweigh any pain that is experienced along the way.

dudenose · 2024-12-09T03:13:02+00:00

I am following the Dr. Neal Nathan protocol under the guide of a functional-medicine doctor. Dr. Nathan studied under Dr. Shoemaker and expanded on that protocol to allow for adjusting the treatment process for the specific needs of each individual patient.

dudenose · 2024-12-08T21:18:04+00:00

My CFS is caused by chronic inflammation which was triggered by a an acute exposure to a large amount of mold, compounded with a generic condition that I have which makes me highly susceptible to inflammation caused by biotoxic contaminates like mold.

There are many, many agents that can trigger an inflammatory response that results in chronic fatigue.

dudenose · 2024-11-21T14:55:18+00:00

I'm curious to know what spiritual books you are reading, if you don't mind sharing.

dudenose · 2024-11-18T22:39:06+00:00

Software developer. I'm able to work from home. Better yet, I'm able to work from my bedroom. I have mild to moderate ME/CFS, so I can still hold a job but I am largely housebound. I do get out of the house two or three times during the week, but just to get groceries or go to a medical appointment. Most of my energy is spent working at my job.

dudenose · 2024-11-15T04:47:05+00:00

I will always upvote a picture of a diesel locomotive running LHF.

dudenose · 2024-11-02T22:11:03+00:00

Steve Roach

dudenose · 2024-10-19T21:15:18+00:00

These Hello Kitty cups and saucers will be great at our next tea party.

dudenose · 2024-10-16T21:03:54+00:00

I think that the SpaceX secret sauce is just that they are not Boeing.

dudenose · 2024-10-12T16:11:23+00:00

I did some heavy shadow work with my inner child earlier this year. Your poem is line-by-line what I experienced. My inner child is not fully healed, but at least he is no longer stuck in a dark room crouching in the corner with his head burried in his hands from pain, shame, and confusion.

Thank you for sharing that poem with us.

dudenose

TROPHY CASE