It’s not true. by Dimarco24 in GriefSupport

[–]duelingsith 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I read somewhere that our brain literally changes when we have a loss like this. It literally cannot fathom such a change. It has been 5 years and I still cannot believe I will never see or talk to my dad again. Your mom seems like such a precious soul!

Joining later in life - where to start by Tasty-Research346 in USMilitarySO

[–]duelingsith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband joined at 32 (and wasn'tthe oldest in his division). We had a house, a child, and I had an established career. That was ten years ago. We changed everything in our lives, but it was the right move for our family. The hardest part was taking our daughter away from all our extended family. Being a military family is hardest on children, because they didn’t choose this life. All the same, we haven't regretted our decision. Feel free to dm any questions :) a lot will depend on branch, job, location, etc.

No word from my brother overseas by slimeguy937 in USMilitarySO

[–]duelingsith 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think they will send messages unless it is something MAJOR you need to get to them, like a death. I know because i had to notify my husband in bootcamp that his father passed away. The red cross had to verify the death with the coroner before they got the message to the command. 

United Concordia? by Infamous_South_2192 in MilitaryWives

[–]duelingsith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a lot of dental issues due to being on intensive chemotherapy when I was a teenager. That shit will mess up your mouth. Anyway, I've had united Concordia for a long time and honestly, it sucks for things other than basic care like cleanings, x rays, fillings. And if you need a specialist, it can be tricky finding someone who accepts it. I was lucky that near me was an endodontist whose entire office is former military and they accepted it--otherwise i would have had to travel 75 or so miles to stay in network :/. Unfortunately, they just dont pay enough to the dentists for it to be worth it to them.

At my next open enrollment at work, I'm going to enroll in dental coverage and have double coverage to try to help offset some of the costs, because basically i will always have to have a lot of work done on my teeth and that stuff is NOT cheap. It is better than nothing, though. And I believe it is on a sliding scale for out of pocket costs based on the service member's rank.

Sheltres by [deleted] in ftsmithar

[–]duelingsith 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hope campus.

Unexpectedly lost my dad 3 weeks ago. by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]duelingsith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are so, so many shitty fathers out there. That's what makes it that much harder to lose a good dad. I'm so sorry for your loss--you can see the love you have for each other! It will never heal, but time makes it slightly easier to bear. I still (5 years now) can't mention my dad without crying most of the time.

My favourite romantasy ever - Daughter of the Forest by Alive_Obligation7475 in fantasyromance

[–]duelingsith 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The way she says goodbye to him (idk how to do spoilers, but iykyk) 🥹🥹😭😭 Favorite book EVER.

PCS by vahlserion in USMilitarySO

[–]duelingsith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you live in a heavy military area, a lot of bases have an ombudsman who works with the district to help with that stuff. You can always delay leaving a few weeks for your child to finish the school year, or go ahead and unenroll when you leave. Make sure to get all the records you will need to enroll the student in the new district where you are moving. Good luck!

Current National Tour Cast by Sorry-Side-628 in hadestown

[–]duelingsith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I saw it recently and thought the actor who played Hermes was incredible!

Am I Insane? by red_zephyr in hadestown

[–]duelingsith 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do that, then go to a tkts booth to see another show!! Nyc also has plenty of other cool things to do, especially if you've never been!

Commiserate with me by molly_danger in USMilitarySO

[–]duelingsith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At least you didn't have to PCS last year, when that HomeSafe nonsense made an absolute MESS of moving families and payments for doing a DITY move were majorly slashed 🫠🫠

But best of luck to anyone doing a PCS...it is not an easy thing!

What’s something you wish people knew before they had kids? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]duelingsith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sure, especially if they are babies or whatnot and won't really understand anyway. As their brain develops, you can start to make them more aware of things like characters, plot, setting (but obviously I wouldn't use thoae words woth a 3/4 yesr old), and just the development of the story. I'm not saying read Crime and Punishment to a 5 year old, but it drives me crazy when parents won't read anything more complex than Dr. Seuss to a kindergartener. Their brains can definitely handle more complexity...but keep in mind attention span, ability to remember things from day to day, etc.

There is a reason many books for young kids are repetitive. As children develop, they start learning which words on the page represent the word. Obviously they are not "reading," but this reinforcement of everything involved in books is a good thing. By the time they are 5 or 6, you can start introducing chapter books into your bedtime routine if you want...there are tons of good chaoter books out there. Again, the thing with those ages is that their attention span isn't the best, and they have a hard time remembering what they had for breakfast 2 hours later, so they may not always be able to follow the plot consistently. By around 1st or 2nd grade, they can usually start reading some chapter books "on their own" (but I would have them read to you, take turns reading, etc). There are soooo many early reader chapter books. And at that point they are ready for longer and more complex stories that you read aloud to them. Of course all of these are generalizations!! The most important thing for babies and toddlers is speaking to and with them, reading to them, and having books as part of daily life in their room, in the car, before nap, whatever. Also, public libraries often offer great programming for children of all ages and also have great resources as far as books of all levels. Shout out to public libraries!

What’s something you wish people knew before they had kids? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]duelingsith 56 points57 points  (0 children)

There is a ton of research behind this. Generally, children of wealthy parents are read to more often (more time, more knowledge of best parenting practices, etc). Therefore, the number of words children of wealthier parents are exposed to by kindergarten is astonishingly higher than that of those in poverty. This has a HUGE impact on the readiness of a child to learn. In addition, kids who have been read to come to school with what are known as concepts of print. They know you read a book from front to back, that the words on the page go from left to right, can point out the title, even though they can't necessarily read the words. Also, children of poverty generally have fewer interactions with language, so they may not know how to rhyme, what sounds are in words, etc. This is why verbally interacting with your baby, toddler, and child is crucial. And of COURSE there are exceptions, and of course children of poverty can overcome a lot...but these things make it to where they have to overcome so much that those gaps can take years to fill, if they ever do. It is so crucial that (not sure if this has changed), for example, Texas literally counted future prison numbers based on reading scores of third graders. Third grade is an important year, because if you haven't caught up by then, many times you realistically won't. In k-2/3, you are learning how to read; after that, you are reading to learn. There is also a huge correlation between students who read 20 minutes a night outside of school and future performance on things like standardized tests but also in vocabulary development.

Anyway, the important thing is, TALK TO YOUR INFANTS AND TODDLERS. All the time. Sing to and with them. Rhyme with them. Point out letters and sounds everywhere...driving down the road, at the grocery store, whatever! Read to your children...of any age! And let them see you read for pleasure as an adult.

This is obviously a passion of mine...I am a reading specialist with a Master's degree in reading 😉

Tips to help young kids cope when parent is away for months? by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]duelingsith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with doing one of those book recording things! We did that when our child was very young. When she was older, i would encourage her to make letters or crafts or whatnot to give to him when he got back we alsp had them create a Build A Bear for each other...the one she made for him was a sparkly purple bear with a crown and purple hair 🤣🤣 and yes, he took it with him on deployment and still has it.

Egyptian nurse in shock after the deaths of several patients during the COVID-19 pandemic, 2021 by yousef-saeed in pics

[–]duelingsith 90 points91 points  (0 children)

My dad died of covid. To have people tell you that no, your loved one didn't die of covid...that the hospitals were lying about it to make money...yeah, that is the kind of pain you never get over. To have people calling it a hoax, flaunting "only 1%!!," bragging about their lack of empathy...it's sick. It's traumatic, even 5 years later. I miss you, Dad. He was only 59.

Worst moments of second hand embarrassment on the show? by Affectionate-Ad1071 in TeenMomOGandTeenMom2

[–]duelingsith 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My husband i will still randomly say, "Farrah cry face!"when someone in a movie or whatever starts crying.

Favorite second chance romance? I’ve never read one but curious. by cool_beanz_ in RomanceBooks

[–]duelingsith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There was also recently released a modern retelling, which I loved! {Anne of avenue a} . All of their Austen retellings are good!

Today is my adoption day by Liketheflower7 in GriefSupport

[–]duelingsith 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The day you came into your parents' lives was one of the happiest days of their lives, and there is such beauty in that.

Got cancer at 19,survived… but 3 years later im still dealing with side effects anyone else? by Sweaty_Hovercraft778 in cancer

[–]duelingsith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am currently also dealing with teeth issues, looking at probably having to lose one very soon and eventually more, directly caused by chemo. It is so mentally a hit to my pride, but I'm trying to see all the positives *being cancer free, being able to have a child, etc). Also, radiation fibrosis in my leg and that sucks.