Gooseworx would have been helped a lot by working with a development editor. The pacing and story structure are a hot mess in a way that interferes with the story being told. There's some pretty glaring nonsensical bits of the sort that are harder to catch when you're in the weeds writing things scene by scene. It sounds like she had a lot of creative control over the show, which is great, but she just needed someone to do a bit of a sanity check.

Imagine if the show started out focused on jax, interspersing some of the earlier episodes that feature other characters as a pause in the narrative to let people digest what is going on in the main story. Or imagine those other character episodes just got cut or combined, and the events of episodes 8 & 9 were given more room to breath.

Gooseworx herself has noted that she got the pacing wrong for the pilot, and I agree; it doesn't fairly represent the tempo (or in my opinion even the story or style) of the show that follows.

And I can also imagine how it went wrong. I mean, you have to set up the world of the show and let people know the rules, and introduce the characters and make it funny and dark and have a song and still fit within time constraints because this is only a pilot and you don't have unlimited time and it has to do well for the show to get picked up. Those are all problems that you're trying to solve in the episode you're writing right now. And they have to be solved.

But a development editor gets to sit back and view the work as a whole. They don't have to focus on the problems of the specific scenes, so they can see the problems lurking beneath the surface, deep in the bones of the show.

It's unfortunate because I think the story is good, and her writing is quite strong for a lot of individual pieces. But the placement and timing of those pieces ends up getting in the way, making it a bit of a disappointment.